Looking for advice...

[Lucky46]

Hi Everyone,

I know I'm not the typical member here-being a men's forum-but I thought I'd give it a try anyway. My partner is a wonderful man who is a stage 4 prostrate cancer survivor. He had a radical prostatectomy and has a penile implant-which works great! I'm here because I'm hoping to learn from all of you how I may work on improving his quality of life-and sex is a big part of life! Any thoughts or advice would be most welcome. Thank you!

[slob1934]

Wow that is one lucky man. I suggest you and he have the best sex of your lives.
As you know the best part of an implant is that he can keep it up for as long as it takes to bring you to orgasm. Many of us were not able to last as long as it takes for a woman to reach a climax. So my advice is use it and enjoy the ride!
You said you want to please him and i'm sure he will love whatever you do. But don't forget yourself, he should be able to please you like you have never been pleased before!

How refreshing to hear from a woman!!

[MIDBOB293]

If I may join in: I have found that oral has saved our sex life to a great extent. Once we overcame any reluctance to perform oral on each other, it made a huge improvement. It does not bring back abilites lost but it does allow satisfaction instead of frustration. Just commenting for what it is worth. Good Luck.

[kkendall]

I can assure you, I am most content when my wife is ... She doesn't like being "selfish", but on the occasions that she allows herself to enjoy herself - THAT is when I am most satisfied. Even if I provide oral and I don't do anything for myself . Knowing that I have satisfied her is HUGE for me.

[vladtepes]

Feel same as you kkendall.
I like when she is selfish.
Makes me huge satisfaction if she loses control on herself

Vlad

[dtwarren1942]

I can only echo the responses of Vlad and Kkendall

[k.b.marino]

If I can give a little of my experience here, well, here goes. Using a lubed finger, I have found a spot inside my wife's vagina that feels like a bumpy little ridge. It is just inside the labia on the top(her belly side) of her vagina. I can always make her have at least one orgasm that way. We use the name that Bob, another implantee uses: the "come hither" technique. Imagine motioning for someone to come to you, curving you finger into the little ridge. Different pressures, speeds etc. to get her humming. Use your index finger or thumb, and if you want to get more adventurous, go for the index and middle finger. Have fun.

[LUVWIFE]

I am wishing and waiting for my other half to want to even come near me or touch me again. He just shut me out cold as ice, he is now being treating for depression since the whole veneal leak which lead to ED. I finally did get him to share what he was going thru, I tried to get thru to him I am here and Im not going anywhere. He said right now he didnt even know if he wanted to be in a relationship and I make him think of what he cant do,he chose to shut out and not open to any touch. He doesnt even like me curled up or laying on couch with him. this forum has been so helpful to me and I would welcome ideas on how to get him to get reading in here. I know it will help him tremendously, I am here for the long haul and welcome any and all input and insite and yay for you who stayed open to not shutting out your wives and wanting to stay physically connected in any way. Lonely in same house

[3mtrship]

Hello,

I'm going to send you to 2 other sites that specifically deal with some of the subjects you mention

1. http://www.hisprostatecancer.com/

2. http://www.phoenix5.org/menumain.html

As we faced the same challenges serveral years ago, we found enough information to keep us together and blast thru to a completely new sexuallity or a new sexual "NORMAL."

Once we faced "What Was" is gone and "What Is To Be" needs building" we slowly started to make some progress to where are we are today. It is not easy and setbacks are normal but the effort is worthwhile.

Kind Regards, Jim

[LUVWIFE]

Jim~ Thank you for the websites. I have already put both to my favorites and from all I have read so far...I am going to just have to wait. The scarey part is the more he stays shut out and not wanting to discuss the ED/venous leak the worse it could get. Right now he is at the not wanting to discuss it again and is being treated for depression so he has no feelings currently but anger. Its a terrible loop for you guys, the ED causes depression and depression meds cause same issue.
It can be heck for the wife who just wants to be supportive and no longer gets hugs or i love yous or much but cordial conversation when we used to have more.

Again, thank you for some insight, I hope one day he will come around. I did leave this website with a note by his computer but he never mentioned it. So lets all hope he may stop by ... Thanks!