this site is brutal for us smaller guys

The final frontier. Deciding when, if and how.
Waynetho
Posts: 1768
Joined: Wed Nov 27, 2019 11:22 pm
Location: Dallas, TX

Re: this site is brutal for us smaller guys

Postby Waynetho » Sun Feb 16, 2020 2:25 am

It might appear that everyone you see here is over endowed but that's not the truth. I for one *WAS* about 7" in 1995 but that has long been lost to history. Before my implant surgery in late October I was at most 5" in length with a 4" girth. Today I'm around 6" and even that is amazing to me. That being said I'm functionally only 5" due to fat pad and the distal nature of my implant, which means that I only have use of 4.5 to 5.0 inches of length.

So, I'm sure I'm not the only one who may have at one time been the 7+ incher to which you refer but like some others here, I'm nowhere near that now.
62yo, married 41 yrs. Urolift (x4) 8/12/19. AMS 700CX 15cm (no RTE) penoscrotal 10/28/19, Frisco, TX. PD 1995/ED 2011. Cialis helped but hinged. (1995)L:6/G:5.5+, (2019)Pre-op L:5/G:4.5, (2/2020)L:6.0/G:5.0

Gt1956
Posts: 3042
Joined: Fri Apr 05, 2019 2:47 pm

Re: this site is brutal for us smaller guys

Postby Gt1956 » Sun Feb 16, 2020 2:47 am

Don't worry about it. Lots of wishful measuring goes on. Measuring while in a VED is a common one. I've seen a tape measure run down the side of the penis which then does not start at the pubic bone. It's men & our vanity. The only measurement that matters is yours. I've looked at 2 very large studies on penis size. You are pretty much right on average according to both of them. Btw, women don't date with a ruler in their purse.
I've known of women that have said their date was huge. Then put their finger 4-5 inches apart & say 8 inches.
Lenght is probably the last thing they worry about. They likely worry about lack of an erection more because it strikes at their sexual worth.
Banish those fears from your mind. They are poisonous to your ed recovery.
68yo, HBP at 40, high triglycerides at 45. Phimosis at 57. Type 2 at 60. Dr. William Brant May 1, 2023 CX 21cm w/no rte's penoscrotal 6" girth @ 6 months

Waynetho
Posts: 1768
Joined: Wed Nov 27, 2019 11:22 pm
Location: Dallas, TX

Re: this site is brutal for us smaller guys

Postby Waynetho » Sun Feb 16, 2020 2:51 am

And to add to GT1956's statements, I read that the average vagina is only about 5" deep so anything more than that in penis length would tend to bottom out on a typical woman. There are exceptions to the 5" deep vagina but then there are exceptions to the average 4,5-5.0" penis too.
62yo, married 41 yrs. Urolift (x4) 8/12/19. AMS 700CX 15cm (no RTE) penoscrotal 10/28/19, Frisco, TX. PD 1995/ED 2011. Cialis helped but hinged. (1995)L:6/G:5.5+, (2019)Pre-op L:5/G:4.5, (2/2020)L:6.0/G:5.0

Gt1956
Posts: 3042
Joined: Fri Apr 05, 2019 2:47 pm

Re: this site is brutal for us smaller guys

Postby Gt1956 » Sun Feb 16, 2020 4:22 am

I want to add this. Recently several members have posted about their mood & attitude changes after getting their implants. I think that this helps to illustrate just how bad ed can skewer your mind. It attacks your thinking in hideous ways & warps your moods.
Keeping your eye on the path to recovery is hard. Ed whispers into your ears everyday. I wish the op the best of luck on his journey.
68yo, HBP at 40, high triglycerides at 45. Phimosis at 57. Type 2 at 60. Dr. William Brant May 1, 2023 CX 21cm w/no rte's penoscrotal 6" girth @ 6 months

GOLD HORSE
Posts: 57
Joined: Sat Jan 25, 2020 9:41 am

Re: this site is brutal for us smaller guys

Postby GOLD HORSE » Sun Feb 16, 2020 7:59 am

I rather have a 4.5 inches piece of steal road than 10 inches soft dick.
It is not the side that mater rather the knowledge of how to use,

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rdnkbiker
Posts: 319
Joined: Thu Dec 22, 2016 5:49 am

Re: this site is brutal for us smaller guys

Postby rdnkbiker » Sun Feb 16, 2020 8:14 am

Gold Horse is right a working dick is a lot better than no dick and have to agree with others on the way some measuring goes on.. I haven't had any complaints think you'll find a lot more average guys then above average....having ED is mentality draining don't give up hope all of us are here to help

Jim
HBP since my 20s Full ED i was 55 when i received my implant January 17th 2017 sever scare tissue through corpora cavernosa clear to the glands (no blood flow) complete revision new equipment july 10th 2023 AMS CX 21cm very happy

Strutter
Posts: 16
Joined: Thu Jan 16, 2020 5:40 am

Re: this site is brutal for us smaller guys

Postby Strutter » Sun Feb 16, 2020 8:51 am

Girth is far more important than length. And if you are not happy with your girth you can get HA injected to augment it with about 0.8-1'' with good aesthetics. Just find someone who does a lot of these. Very safe and veresable if you are not happy with the look.
Dr Perito has started to offer this and calls it girthmax.

stephen54
Posts: 481
Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2019 11:43 am
Location: Chicago

Re: this site is brutal for us smaller guys

Postby stephen54 » Sun Feb 16, 2020 9:44 am

needsomehope wrote:I swear everyone on here is 7 inches plus. the fact were supposed to put our size in our signature just feels like a way to boast. maybe us small guys just aren't meant to have sex. guess it doesn't matter my dicks been broken all my life, probably wouldn't have used it much anyways.


Simply and wildly untrue.

The guys here run the entire bell curve and spectrum of both physiology and psyche and, if there's one thing FT overwhelmingly isn't...is a bragger's forum. It's a safe place to be vulnerable and let one's guard safely down, though. Which, you are certainly sort of doing here with your posts.

Because of the significant baggage you are obviously carrying, maybe you are (understandably) only hearing and seeing those things on FT which most demolish your already compromised state of mind on all things related to your dick. I respectfully submit to you that not all of this is about your dick - it's just not - and that you might benefit from doing some really serious and committed work with a very capable therapist to scrape down to the things underlying here. Your dick (its size, and what it will or won't do) are just the too-obvious focal points.

I'm not lecturing, man. I'm just stating what seems patently obvious. You need to dig in with a therapist who knows what the fuck they're doing. You think all you need is an iron-bar 8" dick and your life will be a carefree party? Maybe not. My size is (was, before implantation) at the bigger end of things and I was unhappy as hell in my prior relationship. Was not even particularly motivated to get my dick fixed, though there were at that time fairly easy options to do so. I was unhappy, my relationship was sideways, work was all wrong, I was just generally ambivalent and unsatisfied for a short period in my life there, I was in the mental abyss and my 8" dick was not my savior. Not even close.

Larger point being - maybe you need to do some serious foundational work on yourself...AND...get your dick working as best as medical science, your abilities, your motivations and wallet will allow. Both. Soon.

The depressive funk you find yourself in is no good. Obviously. Please work on getting that stuff figured out and on a better path. There are ways to get both going in a more positive direction. Until you do, I'm not sure there's a dick in the world that will fully reconcile your uncertainty and lack of self-admiration and self-respect. You've gotta recapture those things. Find purpose and motivation. I'm no shrink, but that much seems obvious.

While not the perfect analogy, I'll share this, because I do think there's a similarity and something instructive:

My wife has very small breasts. On the top end of "A", or a very very small "B". She grew up in the same world as the rest of us, where TV and media and porn focus was always, overwhelmingly, about big breasted women. That's changed somewhat more recently. But not too much, and what she grew up on was the idolization of big boobs all around her. This was our cultural reference and societal standardization. And girls of course walk around with their breasts in front of them on full display to the world. You can see an A-cup vs a D-cup from 30 yards away. Judgements are made from afar. (But you can't see a guy's dick size in the same way, right?).

So fortunately my wife is extremely secure in who she is overall as a person. Very confident, very self-assured. Not much affected by external shit. And she would never alter her body or do anything with her breasts. Her ex-husband wanted her to. They could afford it, he persistently suggested and encouraged it. To the point where it became a real issue for her, and an issue which was far less about her boobs and much more about his lack of acceptance of her as-is, about his inability to see her...like, really fucking SEE...HER...in her entirety. And not just "accept" those micro-boobs...and her - but to really embrace her in her entirety. Long story short, I grew up in the same big boob culture but I was always somehow fascinated and turned on like crazy by the tiny ones. We're together almost 10 years now. I mostly obsess over those sweet tiny things constantly and I'm still not convinced she totally gets me on that, but she's super aware that my love for those little things is very real. It's only one of a thousand things, though. I found a girl with a thousand things because I wasn't focused on one.

So I'm just suggesting you are a unique person with god knows how many positive traits and abilities and things to offer another person. And I guess you may say, yeah, but it's hard to get the chance for someone to see you so holistically in a world where you need a certain kind of dick to get the ball even rolling. Like jacks or better in poker, you think you need a certain size/capability of dick to just get things out the gate I suppose.

Back to what I suggested, then. Get your mind better in order on who you are and what you offer...in your entirety. And get your dick attended to as best you can. As you know from reading FT, there are so many ways to address an uncooperative dick, and while the right doctor may be an unknown and while finances to afford an implant or whatever may be challenging, I just think you need solid ass direction at this point. A plan. Then...work the plan. Work fucking tirelessly toward your plan, understanding it will take some time. But the really good shit typically does take time and consistent investment of your time and mental capital and does not come to you via hanging your head.

The tough love I can offer (which I know you likely won't want to hear and may well tune out) is simply this: the self-flagellation and self-deprecation in your words and tone...that shit, my friend, is unhelpful. Understandable but toxic and unhelpful. This has become your story that you repeat and repeat to yourself and to others and the problem is: now that's your fucking story. There's always someone with something shinier, bigger, more expensive, faster, etc. So what? It's not competitive dick time. It's be-the-better-version-of-YOU-time. The woe-is-me stuff will never move you forward, man. In fact, it rides you backward and downward.
54 yrs. Blessed with highly sexual 52 yr old wife. Pills 10 years, then 9 yrs Trimix. 28 cm Titan Touch XL 2019, Laurence Levine, Rush Univ Med Ctr, Chicago. Implant = nonstop fun. Hypogonadal, so also 10+ years testosterone replacement.

Biker60
Posts: 362
Joined: Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:06 am
Location: Philadelphia Pa

Re: this site is brutal for us smaller guys

Postby Biker60 » Sun Feb 16, 2020 9:51 am

needsomehope wrote:I swear everyone on here is 7 inches plus. the fact were supposed to put our size in our signature just feels like a way to boast. maybe us small guys just aren't meant to have sex. guess it doesn't matter my dicks been broken all my life, probably wouldn't have used it much anyways.


Ok I feel for you, but I was 6 inches and PD took 3 inches off. I am now 6 weeks post op. Implants, plication and scrotal skin reduction. I am inflating now. I was told that now that my 97 degree bend up is not like 25. I still have a plaque band. Surgeon said in 3 month we should decide on a graft if bend does not improve with cycling. Well pre surgery I was 3 inches. Post implant and cycling. Hitting 4 inches. Well I had sex for the first time since Pd broke the dick. My fwb was amazed with the hardness of the inflated small penis. She got off and I got off (wow) and it worked just fine. What did she feel. She felt the hardness over length. So never had a monster dick and never will but it’s hard. And stays hard. Don’t judge anything about yourself by your dick size. You are not your dick size. I have been single most of my life except for a 11 year marriage and a 1 year marriage that ended when my soul mate died of pancreatic cancer. No sex partner has ever said anything about penis size. Even after when Pd started its destructive ways. A partner who cares about you does not care about your dick size. If she cares about dick size then she is just a lay. So she does not matter. Get off and move on. Nobody should break your self esteem. Do not define your self my what you have. Mike
Attachments
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6 weeks post op and inflated no 97 degree bend
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Skier123
Posts: 183
Joined: Tue Aug 29, 2017 8:10 pm

Re: this site is brutal for us smaller guys

Postby Skier123 » Sun Feb 16, 2020 10:43 am

Needsomehope,

I feel for you. I am on the smaller end of the spectrum size wise too.

So here's the thing: In my experience size is the least important thing to a woman. The most important thing is that she likes you, and the second most important thing is that you can give her an orgasm.

A woman's vagina is elastic and will expand OR CONTRACT to wrap around your little guy as required.

So a big dick can give her an orgasm - AND SO CAN A LITTLE ONE. Most of her sensation is in the first few inches of her vagina anyway (so I am told), so length has very little to do with it.

I know this because although I am below average in size, I was able to give my last girlfriend multiple orgasms almost every single time. What matters to her, in order of importance is: Is she into you? Are you nice and hard? Can you last a long time? Are you creative, attentive, and good in bed?

So I agree with the other posters when they tell you to STOP worrying about the bullsh** size excuse and a make a plan to get things fixed.

For what its worth.
54 yr old single guy
Severe ED for over10 years; diagnosed with peyrones and venous leak
Implanted 12/23/19, Dr. Laurence Levine
Coloplast Titan w/ Genesis pump


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