please help me out, guys…

[Biker60]

I am in school to be a physician… appointment went fine… The problem arose when we were scheduling the appointment and his assistant brought up what I would be responsible for financially… That’s win everything went down… this would be a revision on an implant I had done only in October… I expected the exact same implant… Nothing complicated about it… The stitches on the proximal end of the implant came loose… I respect him as a surgeon and as a human being… however, I do not respect his discomfort with this situation over a third-party issue with what this is going to cost financially… i’ve certainly got the money to get this fixed, this issue is between one of my parents and him… it might be different if it was my significant other or myself but, it was not… between this and the issue that I have, I think it’s just in my best interest to find another surgeon… I appreciate that response though!

I had my surgery done in Philadelphia. I sent you a private message as I did not use a world renown surgeon. I did visit a couple of the big names, for my own reasons, I did not use them. The only surgery that mattered was mine. He did a good job. I had a 97 degree PD curve and now its like 10. Everything works as it should.

[David_R]

Glad to hear it, brother.

[Gt1956]

WhiteCane, I can understand your position but in my opinion something was said that raised a flag to his staff. Just as we check out the doctors to operate on us. The doctors watch for patients that they fear will be a problem. I suspect the surgeon that you went to has a very successful practice. If he runs a risk of having an unhappy patient that happens to get an attorney involved or refused to pay a bill. His time involved in taking care of this is time taken away from his patient or sugery time. It hurts his income.
I went back & looked at some of your old posts. Some of your posts might have some insight as to what happened. If your family member said something nasty, even if they said it in Russian, might be what tipped this against you. Don't be quick to assumed that no one in the office knows some Russian phrases. There are plenty of immigrants & their family here. I married into a family of immigrants from a small European country. For a small country, I have met lots of people that can speak the language at a conversational level.
Please understand, I'm not trying to hurt you. Just trying to give you a scenario that explains what might of went wrong. Good luck.

[Waynetho]

My wife was going in for a post-op checkup after a complication from abdominal surgery once about 25 years ago and the doctor had no bedside manner or empathy and she really didn't like him for that but tried to be cordial when around him.

He said he didn't have to see her again for two months. While we were leaving the office she made a comment to me, "Good, I don't have to see his puss for another two months!" The receptionist/nurse heard this (the doctor's wife!) and as a result she got a call from them stating that she was not allowed to come for post-op checkups during regular office hours UNLESS she apologized to him. It was quoted back to the doctor that she had said, "...his ass..."

Long story short, no apology was ever made, although we gave a "non-apology" in the form of a "THANK YOU" card and a little stuffed animal (teddy bear wearing a doctor's coat). She was allowed back in during office hours after the (non-)"APOLOGY".

[Gt1956]

Waynetho, good story. I would suggest that all of the personality types that you can think of are represented in the medical profession. I don't see why skill or intelligence makes the basic person a better person.
I've been told that some of the best money to be made in business is to be found in the jobs that you turn down. I'm sure that some doctors are always on the look out for the hints that a patient should be passed on.
I finally had to drop my doctor at a family practice. Just couldn't get along with him. Btw, I think he is a sharp guy, just not the guy for me. His partner in the practice has been far better for me & my health.

[WhiteCane]

Thank you again for the extremely helpful advice, guys… i’m actually going to be speaking with him tomorrow to hopefully clear things up… i’m keeping other surgeons as an option and I appreciate the private messages and all of the reaching out… I am extremely impressed by this particular surgeons work and he genuinely is a good guy… I’m also a good guy… I think we can work things out but, I maybe have to swallow my pride a little bit… It’s always been the hardest thing for me to do LOL. I hope that everyone is taking care of themselves during all of this coronavirus stuff… please, be well, gentlemen!

[Agfa13]

Whitcane, actually, you helped me out with my issue. I have the same problem with being passed off. Don't know what it is about me, I always thought I had a winning personality, but I guess not:(. I guess there is nothing to be done if the Dr. has his mind made up and he has a lousy bedside manner on top of that.

[SW0110]

I just want to wish you the best. I have talked to many docs about my ed. A couple disliked my questions and said I might be happier elsewhere. So i found one i liked for my first implant who made me comfortable.

For my revision i went with a new doc who was local to me. I was comfortable with him and all seems good so far.

If you are fine with your doc see if you can fix the relationship. If you are comfortable with the person operating on you that is a big deal. Try to get past it. Also take someone else with you to next appt.

[Lost Sheep]

I think we can work things out but, I maybe have to swallow my pride a little bit… It’s always been the hardest thing for me to do LOL. I hope that everyone is taking care of themselves during all of this coronavirus stuff… please, be well, gentlemen!

I expect he may swallow a little more pride than you will have to. After all, he made the initial faux-pas. Sometimes a resolved rift makes for a better relationship going forward. A rough patch overcome builds confidence in the other person's trust.