I think my wife is jealous of my implant!?!

[Larryb8x8]

I was implanted in the end of December. My wife and I have been together for 10 years and all of a sudden after surgery no more sex. You wanted yourself why the hell did I go through this surgery?
We have literally turned into a sexless marriage I don't know if it's because of my new implant she does complain about the girth she's not the cheating type of person. Has anybody gone to this situation. I'm not a fan of masturbation I need my wife this might not end out well...

[WhiteCane]

I Think communication will get you your answer… Ask her “definitely outside of the bedroom“ if everything is OK… I never have this kind of talk during the act or even in the bedroom… be sure to reassure her that you do love her and tell her how much you value that part of your relationship with her… it could be something as simple as you’re pumping it too hard… Best of luck, brother…

[NextStepImplant]

Her loss. I’m sure there’s a lot of women that would love to bump uglys with ya. Maybe it’s time to take a personal vacation to Thailand. I have hear some women being resentful of their husbands new found ability to have sex when ever they want. Don’t let her hold you back.

[Larryb8x8]

We have talked about it outside of the bedroom I think it has more to do with its ugly or being mechanical not natural I'm not sure. right now I would have better chances having sex with a warm glass of water. I do not know what's going on.

[NextStepImplant]

If she said it looks ugly she’s lying, it looks great from the picture you posted. Also she didn’t have a problem with the trimix you were using and that wasn’t natural either. I’m guessing she just dosnt want sex and is not horny but she dosnt want to tell you that.

[Larryb8x8]

No I've never used trimax or anything like that he was just a healthy boy. She won't explain what is wrong but she says it's okay if I want a girlfriend I'm a godly Man and never cheated I don't understand maybe it's the mechanical stuff. Both of us are good people with a lot to lose hence divorce but why would she say go find another woman!?!

[Lost Sheep]

I was implanted in the end of December. My wife and I have been together for 10 years and all of a sudden after surgery no more sex. You wanted yourself why the hell did I go through this surgery?
We have literally turned into a sexless marriage I don't know if it's because of my new implant she does complain about the girth she's not the cheating type of person. Has anybody gone to this situation. I'm not a fan of masturbation I need my wife this might not end out well...

I have not read your prior posts, sorry, if this has been covered there.

How was the sex before the implant? Did you discuss the implant with her before the operation?

Whitecane's observation that communication is key. I have found that women are incredibly supportive if they feel trusted, respected and SAFE. If she enjoyed intimacy with you before the implant (with or without coitus) any reason she eschews it now is a mystery (to be solved if you want to restore your previously healthy relationship)

My opinion is that her objection is not likely to related to the implant itself but how she feels about is. Some women get (essential) validation from being able to produce her man's erection by her attractiveness. That you now produce that erection by hydro-mechanical means may tell her you don't find her desirable any more. I know, it is not logical. But the "fix" is to reassure her you do find her desirable by other means.

But that's just a guess from a man who does not know you or your wife. So wild speculation.

It is your task to discern what she is feeling and thinking (which may be two vastly disparate things) and deal with it. A professional relationship counselor might help (either together with your wife or alone-either of you or both separately). Remember, clergy, trusted and wise relatives, etc may be of help as counselors/advisors, having an outside perspective.

This is another wild speculation. Sometimes, after a man requires a great deal of care from his wife, she sees him as "needier" than before and less of a sexual object. Five months is a long time to hold this change in perspective, but it can happen.

I suddenly had a flash of an idea. Perhaps she has in the back of her mind, buried in her subconscious, that she may hurt you or break your penis or the implant by having sex. Ridiculous as it sounds, it can be a concern. My girlfriend took reassuring that my reconstructed penis was as durable as a natural one.

So, ease into the discussion, tell you you love her and want to express that love like you used to, physically, And LISTEN. Not only to her words, but to her meanings and her feelings.

Good luck

[Larryb8x8]

Thank you and well said my friend. I'm wondering if it's hormonal on her part. She can't be too angry with me simply because I pay all the bills and run the business. I'm only for 5 months out we'll see what happens after about a year too much on our plates right now maybe just stress thanks my friend

[Waynetho]

Larry, my wife had a bit of queasiness about the tubing and unnatural feel of everything when it wasn't inflated. I called it a "gross factor" in past threads. It took some time of explaining the basics of the implant and talking through her concerns and what bothered her about it but we eventually came to a point where I was able to convince her that the benefits outweighed the "gross" factor. She will give me head even though her first few times she was a bit weirded out over the tubing at the base.

I think it's just a matter of time but although I wouldn't advise you to become an incessant nag about it like I was, don't give up and keep the lines of discussion open on the subject. She may come around on her own. Also, it might be good to give her some romatic attention without the expectation of having penile sex sometimes. She might surprise you and when she's aroused enough, she might just overcome her issues and be willing to let you use it.

Also, she might be concerned about the girth if the Titan is giving you more than you had before - so try using less pressure in the cylinders and see if she would be happy with say 50% inflation with some "flex" still present instead of trying to drive a steel spike.

Additionally, my wife was worried due to her dryness and things shrinking down there. After she went on Premarin cream, it helped her out with desire, lubrication and to a degree with flexibility in that area. She still is a bit tight (or more to the point, overly sensitive to stretching) but she's getting better.

[Nestor]

Speculation...

Maybe she's interpreting this as you can now be physically aroused even without if your brain isn't totally into her...

Know what I mean? Like when women might blame themselves if a guy has ED... That they (the woman) is somehow inadequate physically...

Now maybe she thinks that... Even if you're totally into her... She doesn't "KNOW" it anymore.