Head is in a Bad Place

[radiodec]

This sfternoon went into surgery for an implant with the expectation of a chance of much delayed sex with my wife. Now surgery failed, at least a month before another attempt and many lingering questions with bad answers possible.

Going in knew that because of weight and other things that penis length budget was just adequate. That is available Hard lenth was just enough to do the job right given average of better results at the length result. I even had things stretched out a little to help keep things right. Now it will be a month with no exercise do to bladder and urethra work done instead, doctor couldn't get the catheter in, so did a ream job instead. Instead of recovering to use it is recovering to surgery.

It looks like all this has possibly set me up for needing an AUS. The big question is this: Will all the discomfort, depending on others, emotional stress to my wife be worthit or have I started down a bad road with no U turns and an unpleasant destination. The answer is not definite either way.

I am left feeling that I should have let dead dogs lie and found some other way intimacy.

Well, born a fool, live a fool,die a fool!

Radiodec
eunuch

[antelope]

Life is full of challenges and obstacles. The road to restored sexual performance is no different. Don't give up. Do whatcha gotta do to get to where you wanna go. Hang in there; hard times are ahead!

Greg

[buckster]

Radio,
We just lost a family member to PCa at age 52. My best friend's daughter-in-law is most likely not going to survive breast cancer. She is only 39 years old. What just happened to you is bad but not life threatening. In a couple weeks you will feel better and your head will be back in the right place. Give yourself plenty of time to heal. Start those kegals as soon as it's not painful, even with the catheter still in. Don't rush right back into surgery. It might take more than a month to get back to where you were. The doctor is just doing his job by preparing you for the worst case scenario. Be confident and hope for the best. Didn't you write that you had your RP 12 years ago? What are a few more months? You know how time passes when you get older.
Buck

[Matthew]

I cannot imagine the challenge that you have dealt with. I think you being open and honest about it is very good. IMO, regardless of religious beliefs are lack of, having faith and/or a positive attitude for the future benefits your health.That kind of mindset looks beyond the obstacles in front of them. I will being praying for strength for you to forge ahead in the coming days and weeks, and for your wife. I believe you have a future sex life with your partner coming, maybe just not as soon as hoped for. God bless.

[radiodec]

Thanks for all the support!! Thanks for the place to vent, it was early in the AM and I was having trouble sleeping. No pain, only the mildest of irritation, but it is hard to sleep when you constantly feel like you are wetting yourself. A catheter effect that I remember from years gone by.

God has been good to me. The cancer for the RP was supposed to have spread by what the biopsies showed, but it was so well contained that only the RP was needed. Scared the one urologist that was doing the surgery and not a Christian so bad that he left town. Tho other surgeon who worked with him jointly gave God the credit. He said it was his skilled hands doing the work but God and Christ providing the outcome.

Talked to my urologist since the little rant. He explained what went on. I had a mess of scar tissure up the urethra at the bladder and he couldn't get any kind of catheter through. Used a camera to see what was going on so did a clean up and is confident that about a month is the right timing. So all will work out.

Radiodec

Praise the Lord

[radiodec]

I am going in early tomorrow to get this snake out of my penis! That will be a relief.

Now to some interesting observations: I was able to go the whole time without any pain medication. Who would have thought that, since scar tissue was removed form what I thought would be a sensitive place.

I have lost about 8 pounds since the surgery. This appears to be excess water weight. My primary physician and I both thought that the water retention was due to my blood pressure medication and had even change the blood pressure medications a short time back to reduce it. Now that the scar tissue is gone, I have been losing the excess water at a fair rate. This tells me that if I hadn't decided on an implant I would have gone a lot longer without getting rid of the fluid retention problem.

The going straight to an implant without a cytoscopy was justified by the conditions at the time and previous history. In fact had I gone for a cytoscopy first, I would still be waiting to have the scar tissue removed. They are generally not set up to do scar tissue removal when just a cytoscopy is being performed.

So! Neglecting the surprise aspect, everything was scheduled for the best. Can't wait to find out what the total effect of the cleanup is and what the new schedule will be.


Radiodec

[radiodec]

Things are going very well! Catheter out (no pain on removal, just the usual strange sensation), Dr. Morris pleased so far, his consults with other urologists confirmed his past and planned course of treatment.

Plumbing works fine since removal of catheter, leakage already minimal. Depending on the next couple of days this should remove one worry. Back to impatiently waiting on scheduling like I was back in September.

Shall we try another dance?

Radiodec

[radiodec]

My head is now in anticipation, stage 2.

I have a new schedule date! November 7, 2012 at 11:00am -- This is surgery time, I will have to be at the Hendersonville Medical Center at least two hours prior for all the preparations. Implant will be AMS700LGX

Since I am allergic to penecillin, they will first start an IV and add an antibiotic infusion. This will take an hour or so before surgery can start. Same antibiotic restrictictions will probably mean that I have an overnight stay, though the "normal" routine is for leaving without an overnight. I don't have a pre-op appointment with the medical center yet.

Now back to waiting and all the anticipation both positive and negative that this entails. Now I get to wonder, will it happen this time or will there be another problem. Maybe they will be better at hitting a vein too. Three attempts to get an IV in is a little bit of a bummer.

So, anyway, I am back on the list just further back now.

Radiodec

[BrooksBro]

I paraphrase an old commercial: The mind is a terrible thing.

In addition to ED and Peyronie's, I recently had two injuries which were (to me) as much mentally devastating as physical. I finally sought help from a psychologist. One key that she gave me was "giving my body permission to heal." It took five visits over 10 weeks for me to get to a new peace about my injuries. I CAN heal, and my present condition IS temporary.

It helped me to listen to affirmations and guided imagery. Those for pain and self confidence seemed most helpful. With my own surgery imminent (October 25), I may listen to surgery and some others. Some seem to be the same recording but with different names/subjects.

https://members.kaiserpermanente.org/redirects/listen/

[radiodec]

On healing, I am indeed fortunate. I learned long ago through some process unknown to me to not only give my body permission to heal, but to insist that it does. For the most part it obeys within the laws of nature.

My urologist might have a different opinion, but I am completely healed from my adventure on 10/1 and I am now looking forward to 11/7. My urologist, i find, is a conservative type. I get to spend overnight after surgery so that they can do antibiotic infusions since I am allegeric to penecillin and his favored substitute can't be administered push. Whenever you need to heal, you need not only to give your body permission, but give it the encouragement of expecting it to comply with your request to heal.

Prayer helps, too. My head was in a bad place when I started this; not now. I am ready, willing, and able to proceed with the adventure. Hard times are ahead.

Radiodec