Lost Sheep wrote:stephen54 wrote:Having said that, it's kind of curious to me that one of the reasons stated here to exclude women was the thinking that in doing so we are keeping this place safe for guys to talk as guys do and as guys might want to talk, not needing to walk on eggshells worried what will the women think, etc.
But this is the internet. The absolute definition of anonymity. Why would an effectively anonymous male poster here be even remotely influenced or care in the least about the perception or feeling or response of an entirely random, unknown, equally anonymous female? I don't get that.
Not all the writers here will be anonymous to readers here.
For example, some non-member partners of members might be miffed when she (or he) reads over the shoulder of their (member) partner something intimate. Put more simply: A lady might read what her boyfriend/husband wrote and be unhappy about it or about how other members respond to that writing.
Without a doubt. Of course.
But that same lady might also be less than pleased if she walks through the room and spies over his shoulder her beloved guy deep into a video retrospective on bukkake or bondage gangbang porn, too. Whose responsibility is it to police private behavior?
Always risk inherent with a lack of discretion. Know your situation, be personally accountable and discrete, and you won't be negatively impacted by someone looking over your shoulder. Site administrator can make whatever decisions they want, absolutely, it's their show. I just don't know that it's their responsibility to watch out for someone else's sensibilities/embarassment with their partner.
My larger point was simply that, if one chooses, FT
is an absolutely private forum. It's as absolutely private as any given guy decides to make it private for himself. That's all.
I'm sure there's value in a forum where one gender feels they are strictly amid like-gendered (ie, theoretically, like-minded) others. But maybe sometimes that kind of place can drift toward becoming too much of an echo chamber, too. Human nature...we all can gravitate toward points of view which mostly reinforce our embedded sensibilities we already possess. Of course. Who wants conflict? Who wants to have their well-entrenched worldview and beliefs and (oh, um, thoughts about their precious dick, for example) threatened with some contrasting viewpoint?
Enter the echo chamber. We comfort ourselves, in a way, by insulating ourselves from possibly unnerving countering viewpoints from women. But what if something they have to share and say shakes up something in us and flips on some lightbulb of recognition?
I think mostly I'd not derive much benefit from what other women would potentially ask or say or share on FT. That doesn't bring me value, because I have the open dialogues I have with my wife about whatever we might choose to dig into and her worldview and opinions are the ones I need to deeply understand. But I fully recognize that my thing is not everyone's landscape and that there are guys here who are single, or who are in disassociated or challenging intimate/sexual relationships with a spouse or partner or whatever. So maybe some of those guys could benefit from some opposite sex reality checks, some comments and viewpoints of women not personally vested in a particular guy's situation.
I don't know. I mean, my wife's sister recently left a copy of a women's magazine at our house. I flipped through it with my wife in the room. I sort of chuckled aloud at something. She asks what it is. I tell her. It's an "article" about what women are thinking about during cowgirl sex. I'm not kidding. An article on that apparently critical topic.
And the writer of said article went on and on with what I thought must be the most preposterously ridiculous deep dive on what women in fact think while riding a guy. This leads she and I into, I kid you not, a pretty revealing probably 2 hour discussion which veers from the mechanics of the physical sex act itself to body image to confidence to gender bending/role reversal, dominance/submissiveness (not just in sex but in a male/female relationship overall). It was actually entirely fucking fascinating to see what rolled out of my wife, on what I thought was a very narrow and sort of throwaway topic. You know her for ten years and she utterly surprises you. It's so cool.
So I don't know. I think women are brilliantly different from us and when I learn more about what they really think, I benefit because my relationship benefits.
It's exhausting....
But awesome.
54 yrs. Blessed with highly sexual 52 yr old wife. Pills 10 years, then 9 yrs Trimix. 28 cm Titan Touch XL 2019, Laurence Levine, Rush Univ Med Ctr, Chicago. Implant = nonstop fun. Hypogonadal, so also 10+ years testosterone replacement.
