How the hell I am supposed to handle dating with ED?

The final frontier. Deciding when, if and how.
LeRoastBeef
Posts: 681
Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2018 11:09 am

Re: How the hell I am supposed to handle dating with ED?

Postby LeRoastBeef » Thu Oct 29, 2020 5:44 am

We all have a tendancy to believe that our anecdotal experiences are the norm, that what we experience is universal. When I developed ed I got dumped. It was the only reason.

I read of all the positivity with which most here regard human nature and I find myself unable to relate. In my experience, women are cut throat. They just dress it up. They may even be more ruthless than men.

But then again there's me inferring universal rules from my anecdotes.
Implanted with AMS 700 lgx, 2021.
30's
UK

irishguy
Posts: 230
Joined: Sun Oct 28, 2012 12:04 pm

Re: How the hell I am supposed to handle dating with ED?

Postby irishguy » Thu Oct 29, 2020 11:18 am

Very well said leroastbeef this is very true our lives and experiences will obviously shape our thoughts on certain matters. Myself and yourself have had certain experiences and most of the other gentlemen writing in this thread have had different .. to be honest I’m glad and happy about that and I hope for the op that we are wrong!! Because this site is for helping each other and we can all only go on our experiences!

So op can you tell us do you have a plan to fix your issues?
Age 34 Implanted with a 20cm Titan, Mar 19 2013, By Doctor David Ralph in London England,
8 years with implant and after a rocky start I’m very happy with the implant

Lost Sheep
Posts: 6162
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: How the hell I am supposed to handle dating with ED?

Postby Lost Sheep » Thu Oct 29, 2020 11:53 am

LeRoastBeef wrote:We all have a tendancy to believe that our anecdotal experiences are the norm, that what we experience is universal. When I developed ed I got dumped. It was the only reason.

I read of all the positivity with which most here regard human nature and I find myself unable to relate. In my experience, women are cut throat. They just dress it up. They may even be more ruthless than men.

But then again there's me inferring universal rules from my anecdotes.

Very perceptive, LeRoastBeef. We all see the world through our particular lenses.

Regarding women's propensity for being sanguine. They can be more ruthless than men, but also more kind and loyal. I suspect their range between those extremes may be wider than men's. Or maybe just differently manifested.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017
Prostate Cancer 2023
READ OLD THREADS-ask better questions -better understand answers
Be part of your medical team
Document pre-op size-photos and written records
Pre-op VED therapy helps. Post-op is another matter

hopeful_future
Posts: 255
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2019 7:58 pm

Re: How the hell I am supposed to handle dating with ED?

Postby hopeful_future » Thu Oct 29, 2020 11:37 pm

LeRoastBeef wrote:We all have a tendancy to believe that our anecdotal experiences are the norm, that what we experience is universal. When I developed ed I got dumped. It was the only reason.

I read of all the positivity with which most here regard human nature and I find myself unable to relate. In my experience, women are cut throat. They just dress it up. They may even be more ruthless than men.

But then again there's me inferring universal rules from my anecdotes.


Well...We can't really form opinions about other people except by our experiences. And I won't say I haven't run into people like that...But I have no desire to have them in my life. I find that by being kind, and tuning into people who reciprocate that kindness, I have ended up surrounded by kind people. If I'm vulnerable with someone and they respond to it by going for the throat, why in the world would I mourn that person no longer being in my life? They've basically just shown themselves to be someone I want nothing to do with!

Surely I've been lucky to some extent. Maybe being in the queer community has given me a different perspective, maybe it's that I don't really crave a lot of social interaction so I can be very picky about who I invite into my life. Either way, I've had a few disappointments in my life when it comes to people's characters, but overall I've found so many great people. I hope for that in your future as well!
39yo, ED since sexually active, moderate to severe. Bisexual. Pills helped a little, trimix and muse failed. Implanted 8/25/20 by Dr. Karpman, 22cm+1RTE Titan Touch.

Gt1956
Posts: 3042
Joined: Fri Apr 05, 2019 2:47 pm

Re: How the hell I am supposed to handle dating with ED?

Postby Gt1956 » Thu Oct 29, 2020 11:56 pm

LeRoastBeef wrote:We all have a tendancy to believe that our anecdotal experiences are the norm, that what we experience is universal. When I developed ed I got dumped. It was the only reason.
I read of all the positivity with which most here regard human nature and I find myself unable to relate. In my experience, women are cut throat. They just dress it up. They may even be more ruthless than men.

I can understand your feelings. After all, as they "say once bitten, twice shy".
Sorry to harp on something that I've said several times before. Women just don't understand erections. Once your ED showed up. She likely had never seen that before. Her female friends are telling their B/S opinions & urban folklore stories. Stuff like you might be gay or having an affair. She has no background to draw from. Even her mother might not be of good counsel.
Sadly, even you might not of fully understood what was happening. Having read a lot of your posts, I'm guessing that you did the best you could with what you understood at the time.
I'm fairly certain that your ex girlfriend will encounter other men in her life that have ED. Her failure to learn about your condition will come back to haunt her. "You reap what you sow".
You, on the other hand will defeat this. Btw, it won't be quick or easy. But I know that you can do it. You'll eventually find a more mature woman to impress with your super dick.
Get your head on straight, keep improving yourself & learning. You'll get there.
68yo, HBP at 40, high triglycerides at 45. Phimosis at 57. Type 2 at 60. Dr. William Brant May 1, 2023 CX 21cm w/no rte's penoscrotal 6" girth @ 6 months

LeRoastBeef
Posts: 681
Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2018 11:09 am

Re: How the hell I am supposed to handle dating with ED?

Postby LeRoastBeef » Fri Oct 30, 2020 9:57 am

Gt1956 wrote:
LeRoastBeef wrote:We all have a tendancy to believe that our anecdotal experiences are the norm, that what we experience is universal. When I developed ed I got dumped. It was the only reason.
I read of all the positivity with which most here regard human nature and I find myself unable to relate. In my experience, women are cut throat. They just dress it up. They may even be more ruthless than men.

I can understand your feelings. After all, as they "say once bitten, twice shy".
Sorry to harp on something that I've said several times before. Women just don't understand erections. Once your ED showed up. She likely had never seen that before. Her female friends are telling their B/S opinions & urban folklore stories. Stuff like you might be gay or having an affair. She has no background to draw from. Even her mother might not be of good counsel.
Sadly, even you might not of fully understood what was happening. Having read a lot of your posts, I'm guessing that you did the best you could with what you understood at the time.
I'm fairly certain that your ex girlfriend will encounter other men in her life that have ED. Her failure to learn about your condition will come back to haunt her. "You reap what you sow".
You, on the other hand will defeat this. Btw, it won't be quick or easy. But I know that you can do it. You'll eventually find a more mature woman to impress with your super dick.
Get your head on straight, keep improving yourself & learning. You'll get there.


This is beginning to be a recurring thing. Once a week I whine and moan like a fanny, then you come on and tell me to get a grip. :lol: You're quite right though. Quite right. Grounds me and snaps me out of it. Until next week, pal. Much love.
Implanted with AMS 700 lgx, 2021.
30's
UK

Gt1956
Posts: 3042
Joined: Fri Apr 05, 2019 2:47 pm

Re: How the hell I am supposed to handle dating with ED?

Postby Gt1956 » Fri Oct 30, 2020 11:23 am

:idea: 8
LeRoastBeef wrote:
Gt1956 wrote:
LeRoastBeef wrote:We all have a tendancy to believe that our anecdotal experiences are the norm, that what we experience is universal. When I developed ed I got dumped. It was the only reason.
I read of all the positivity with which most here regard human nature and I find myself unable to relate. In my experience, women are cut throat. They just dress it up. They may even be more ruthless than men.

I can understand your feelings. After all, as they "say once bitten, twice shy".
Sorry to harp on something that I've said several times before. Women just don't understand erections. Once your ED showed up. She likely had never seen that before. Her female friends are telling their B/S opinions & urban folklore stories. Stuff like you might be gay or having an affair. She has no background to draw from. Even her mother might not be of good counsel.
Sadly, even you might not of fully understood what was happening. Having read a lot of your posts, I'm guessing that you did the best you could with what you understood at the time.
I'm fairly certain that your ex girlfriend will encounter other men in her life that have ED. Her failure to learn about your condition will come back to haunt her. "You reap what you sow".
You, on the other hand will defeat this. Btw, it won't be quick or easy. But I know that you can do it. You'll eventually find a more mature woman to impress with your super dick.
Get your head on straight, keep improving yourself & learning. You'll get there.


This is beginning to be a recurring thing. Once a week I whine and moan like a fanny, then you come on and tell me to get a grip. :lol: You're quite right though. Quite right. Grounds me and snaps me out of it. Until next week, pal. Much love.

Glad it helps you. Everyone, even myself needs to get "grounded" once in a while. I normally get quiet & sort thru it. Others are not so lucky. Just remember that a journey is just a thousand small steps. Take a breath then do that next small step.
Btw, I hope I have the right member. You make any progress on sorting insurance options for your open season? Remember, small steps. The steady tortoise wins the race.
Kind of corny to quote all these old sayings. But there really is some tribal knowledge that can be passed amonst ourselves by using them. You'll be a better person in a better place at the end of this than the ex that tossed you aside. Not so much as she was a bad person. More that society just isn't understanding ED at all. She didn't get the memo. Lol.
I truly believe that ED messes with our minds almost as much as our dicks. Good luck & keep reading.
68yo, HBP at 40, high triglycerides at 45. Phimosis at 57. Type 2 at 60. Dr. William Brant May 1, 2023 CX 21cm w/no rte's penoscrotal 6" girth @ 6 months

LeRoastBeef
Posts: 681
Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2018 11:09 am

Re: How the hell I am supposed to handle dating with ED?

Postby LeRoastBeef » Fri Oct 30, 2020 2:54 pm

Na, you've got the wrong guy this time. I'm in Scotland waiting for the NHS to catch up, horrific waiting lists as a result of the lockdown. You're advice still applies though!
Implanted with AMS 700 lgx, 2021.
30's
UK

Gt1956
Posts: 3042
Joined: Fri Apr 05, 2019 2:47 pm

Re: How the hell I am supposed to handle dating with ED?

Postby Gt1956 » Fri Oct 30, 2020 4:37 pm

LeRoastBeef wrote:Na, you've got the wrong guy this time. I'm in Scotland waiting for the NHS to catch up, horrific waiting lists as a result of the lockdown. You're advice still applies though!

Sorry about that. I should of picked up on the word fanny. Not used very much in America, but it is a valid word. Still willing to give a guy a few words of encouragement.
I wish you good luck with the NHS.
Not sure about delays here at the moment. In July my surgeon said implants were still being done but only if hospitals felt that they had some extra beds in ICU in case the surgery went bad.
68yo, HBP at 40, high triglycerides at 45. Phimosis at 57. Type 2 at 60. Dr. William Brant May 1, 2023 CX 21cm w/no rte's penoscrotal 6" girth @ 6 months

frwmw1
Posts: 437
Joined: Thu Oct 01, 2020 7:38 am

Re: How the hell I am supposed to handle dating with ED?

Postby frwmw1 » Fri Oct 30, 2020 11:55 pm

There is help at hand though.

The other night, we first tried Trimix, I was worried at first that it would fail, and sort of rushed foreplay (been getting very good at foreplay since ED got worse), started having sex and was worried about losing it, but next thing you know, magic happened, my wife is having an orgasm, and then another orgasm and then for the next half an hour she was having rolling orgasms because my dick was rock hard and I was relaxed and focused, and I was like a kid at a carnival, just having the time of my life. We had a rest then went again, and she was grinning from ear to ear.

Funnily, we were talking weeks ago, and she said she used to get multiple orgasms but she figured it was because she was younger.

I thought you kids were bull crapping when you write about giving your partner 5+ orgasms, and getting top quality ratings about your dicks, because I had never had that experience.

The support I have been given by the medical community has been amazing, as soon as they saw my Doppler results, they have been very emphatic.

Women can be brutal about sex? Yes that can be true. The way nature designed it, if they are having sex for their own enjoyment, the more they have, the more they want, the less they have, the less they want and think about it (see "Basson circular model of desire"), yet they often only get desire for sex after arousal (see "Responsive Desire"), and having to deal with ED can really kill that. Women are also more likely to have heighten interest in sex during the "New Relationship Energy" (NRE) phase, and after this they can lose interest, and the couple need to work though this phase to continue to keep sex enjoyable for her so to stop sex aversion, and ED along with poor communication can impact this negatively too.

But nevertheless, with support the available, it's definitely possible for members to date other people and provide their partners with satisfactory sex lives.

I think the best advice for the dating scene is find someone you can easily talk about sex with.
45yo, venous leak. Pills increased tinnitus (very rare). Using bimix+atropine, 0.2 of:
Atropine Sulfate: 52MCG/ML, Phentolamine MES: 0.9MG/ML, Papaverine HCL: 26MG/ML


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