How Do I Increase Sexual Sensation?

[GoodWood]

Whoaaa hold on.. not into that shit. Normal and straight as a needle here.

Quite a lot of straight men enjoy anal stimulation as ALL men have a gspot there, straight or gay.
Saying that you are "normal' because you are straight is an absolute insult to us gay men. You will win no friends here with comments like that.

Ok I dont know or care what your politics is. I'm here to get help nothing more.

You win no friends here for hating straight people.

.

You are the only one who has mentioned politics or “hating straight people”. I don’t read any of that in the responses to your post.

But you DID say you are “normal” implying that others are abnormal. It shouldn’t be a surprise that someone would point that out. It’s not an attack. Learn from it and move on.

Everyone is here to learn and help others. That’s the great thing about FrankTalk.

[kinggg]

Despite Simbarn's taking offense of your equating "Normal" and "Straight" as being antithetical to appreciating alternative erogenous zones in your body, we, by our presence here in FrankTalk implicitly accept (or at least tolerate) each others' predelictions, which includes prejudices.

I honestly dont know I had insulted anyone. But whatever.

I don't expect you, kinggg, intended to insult any gay or bisexual men here. But it came across that way to Simbarn, I think.

Ok theres so much on my plate right now in my life that I have no time to play games with people. I'm not here to troll, insult or make trouble. Theres too much going on in my life to do all that especially when it comes to my stupid health issues. I'm here to get the help to move on with my life. Thats my goal as is everyone else's. Whatever hes going through is something hes dealing with. Life is too goddamn short to be doing what youre describing.

Like I said I'm here to get help. Typing paragraphs about this is a waste of time when it can be better spent coming together to find solutions to our common problem which sadly nature isnt helping with.

[kinggg]

You are the only one who has mentioned politics or “hating straight people”. I don’t read any of that in the responses to your post.

But you DID say you are “normal” implying that others are abnormal. It shouldn’t be a surprise that someone would point that out. It’s not an attack. Learn from it and move on.

Everyone is here to learn and help others. That’s the great thing about FrankTalk.

I didnt know you were his lawyer. But at any rate, chill. Relax its nothing worth getting a titty attack over. Move on and let it go. Stop wasting your time, energy and life over something so minuscule. There are tons of people with issues, with a bad life, with covid 19 and youre here wasting your energy like youre in a marathon. MOVE ON!

[Lost Sheep]

Are we back to the original question, then?

How to increase sexual sensation?

I find that massage works well for me, whether receiving it from or giving it to my girlfriend. It helps with the mental attitude towards her body and mine. It enables a relaxed state, amenable to greater sensations of a sexual nature as well all others.

This massage is the first step to foreplay, which wakes up the sensate receptors in my skin (and my mind).

You can see where I am going with this: Sexual sensation starts with sensation and the mind is as integrally involved as the body.

Now, if kingg's question is more focused on purely physical (suggesting his mind is already prepped) and he is feeling a lack of physical sensation, I misunderstood the question.

If you use lubrication, the amount and type of lubrication is a factor. Experiment around. Scent, as well.

Position is a factor. One thing I read about the "Missionary" position is that if the woman has her legs together and the man's legs are spread, the vaginal opening feels tighter to both (though depth of penetration is less, the sensation at the entry point is more).

If kingg would elaborate with more specifics about where and when his sexual sensation is lacking, we might focus our responses more.

Clearly there are many ways (not all of them will work on all men and not all of them are acceptable from a personal or societal viewpoint, but hopefully men who tell what works for them will get thanks and not objection).

Finding one's erogenous zones is a tricky business. Women have them, seemingly ALL OVER their bodies. And they also seem to move around on the same woman depending on her state of arousal at the particular moment. The same can be said of men (though maybe a bit less, or maybe - as heterosexual men - we have just studied it a lot less and only on ourselves.) My erogenous zones are pretty constant in location, though my girlfriend is pretty diligent in searching for new ones (thank you thank you thank you that she is interested).

For us straight guys, paying attention to male erogenous zones is (by definition) a solo activity or only with a female partner(s). Straight guys could learn a LOT about increasing sexual sensation from gays - and without inviting sexual activity, I am talking about just getting the information.

If anything I have written here is offensive or insensitive, please accept my apology and request for forgiveness and request for a Private Message to further my education, so I may amend my behavior. I am not perfect, nor will ever be, but do seek to be better daily.

[kinggg]

Now, if kingg's question is more focused on purely physical (suggesting his mind is already prepped) and he is feeling a lack of physical sensation, I misunderstood the question.

If kingg would elaborate with more specifics about where and when his sexual sensation is lacking, we might focus our responses more.

Hi Lost Sheep,

Believe it or not, given my suffering I feel like a lost sheep... lol

Anyway back on topic. Just to clarify whats going on with me, I dont feel as sexual as I used to. Whatever partial morning wood I get (which is the only time I get any wood), I dont feel that horny. Its definitely low libido. But beyond that I feel less sensation sexually. For example when my gf rubs herself on me I dont feel that sexual sensation that gets me aroused as before.

Now I could be wrong. But am I confusing myself between libido and sexual sensation? In other words, my question is, is libido the same as sexual sensation? I think I am. But need to make sure.

But if theres a difference between libido and sexual sensation please let me know and what can I do about it?

Appreciate the reply.. looking forward to your reply.

.

[Lost Sheep]

Hi Lost Sheep,

Believe it or not, given my suffering I feel like a lost sheep... lol

Anyway back on topic. Just to clarify whats going on with me, I dont feel as sexual as I used to. Whatever partial morning wood I get (which is the only time I get any wood), I dont feel that horny. Its definitely low libido. But beyond that I feel less sensation sexually. For example when my gf rubs herself on me I dont feel that sexual sensation that gets me aroused as before.

Now I could be wrong. But am I confusing myself between libido and sexual sensation? In other words, my question is, is libido the same as sexual sensation? I think I am. But need to make sure.

But if theres a difference between libido and sexual sensation please let me know and what can I do about it?

Appreciate the reply.. looking forward to your reply.

.

Thank you for inviting me to expand on my thoughts to you. You ask for help. Help is why I am still active on this site (both to receive and to give).

Libido and sexual sensations are different from general good sensations. But all three are related intimately (no pun intended).

A reduction in sexual ability (that is, E.D.) will often trigger a reduction in desire to act on urgings of libido and, in a vicious circle, consequently reduce that libido and the pleasure one physically FEELS from physical stimuli (and mental stimuli as well). Do you think that may be happening to you?

Here is what I did when that happened to me.

Since E.D. crept up on me slowly, I never had the clearly defined transition from confident lover to a "lost sheep", so I did not have the epiphantic flash of recognition. But I also had the opportunity to make a slow transition in my attitudes towards sex and what activities gave appropriate (pleasure) rewards. Sensate, sexual and relational. So, my attitude towards behaviors that seem beyond the "usual and acceptable" is more accepting (even those that I reject for myself).

Libido is (in my view) almost entirely mental (recognizing that there is also a brain chemical and hormonal component as well). Sensation is entirely physical. There is substantial crossover, but there is (again, to my thinking) a clear distinction that permits separate analysis of each. And of how each affects the other.

Our (mental) attitude towards particular sensations will affect how we perceive those sensations; as pleasurable or objectionable or even painful. So, the way we think about physical sensations affects the way those sensations feel to us. For example, if we think about a tongue in our ear as a turn-off, our physical reaction to that sensation will not be sexually arousing.

In the preceding example, substitute a woman's hand on our penis, scrotum, perineum, anus or prostate and one's perception (and appreciation) for each may differ. How the recipient is aroused by such touching depends on mental attitude towards that touch (and towards who -identity or gender- is giving it). I had a girlfriend who thought cunnilingus was disgusting, and she found that particular sexual sensation displeasing). Opening up her mind would have opened up a world of pleasure.

I have no idea how you feel about cunnilingus, but I did not like it much when my penis worked well. But I found it VERY useful for maintaining a good relationship as my penis failed. Once my appreciation grew for the rewards that cunnilingus conferred (to me, through the gratitude of partner), I began to enjoy giving it more. The brain's reward system does that with any activity. As a result of that experience, I am more open to any sort of "play" in a sexual context than I was at 25 years of age.

"A man who holds the same beliefs at 60 as he did at 30 has learned NOTHING from 30 years of experience." (I do not recall the source of that quote.)

What I am suggesting is that your outlook on sex and sexual sensations (your libido) has probably been adversely affected by your lack of ability to perform as well as you wish you could. This, in turn has affected how your brain responds to sensual stimuli. This is especially telling to a man who was sexually powerful before and is now experiencing E.D.

While there is little one can do (Among them, of course, are lifestyle changes, diet/exercise/herbals etc. up through the spectrum of medical treatments all the way to surgery), about E.D, a great deal can be done about how it affects your mental attitude (and your libido). And this includes opening up to new ways of experiencing sex. And the loving touch of a good woman can do a LOT to open up new horizons. Or, according to Mae West, even a bad woman, “When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.”)


I hope this helps. Someone on Franktalk suggested that my advice is more philosophical than medical. So be it. I think I swing both ways. This one is more philosophical.

[kinggg]

A reduction in sexual ability (that is, E.D.) will often trigger a reduction in desire to act on urgings of libido and, in a vicious circle, consequently reduce that libido and the pleasure one physically FEELS from physical stimuli (and mental stimuli as well). Do you think that may be happening to you?

Hi, lost sheep,

I understand what youre trying to convey since I feel personally that my low libido is somewhat tied to my ED. Keyword is ‘somewhat’ because I feel like my libido has become worse while my ED has stayed the same.

Libido is (in my view) almost entirely mental (recognizing that there is also a brain chemical and hormonal component as well). Sensation is entirely physical. There is substantial crossover, but there is (again, to my thinking) a clear distinction that permits separate analysis of each.

With all due respect I got to disagree with you there partner. Libido given hormonal and bio chemical responses is not mental as evidenced by several meds that augment libido. Such meds like apomorphine and welbutrin which act to increase dopamine in the brain and therefore sexual response so it cant be mental. I guess everyone has their own opinion.

But going back to my issue, I feel like my penis has lost sexual sensation as opposed to experiencing low libido, as if there are fewer nerves around it to help it respond better to sexual situations. For example, in the past just looking at my gf in her tight jeans made me want her. Now she can be dancing naked in front of me but getting turned on is a huge challenge.

So again I don’t know if this is an act of low libido or low sexual sensation as in fewer/ damaged nerves as I mentioned before. If perchance there is some nerve issue do you know if its possible to get those “dead” nerves working again or rehabilitated/ regenerated through some med or whatever?

[Lost Sheep]

Definitely, low libido can be caused by chemical imbalances. I believe that mental attitude can cause it as well. We may be in more agreement than you think. Brain chemistry is very powerful, and I agree with you there.

Your ED has remained the same but as time goes on the effect on your outlook probably gets worse. My guess. Your outlook soaks up disappointment after disappointment over a period of time so over a few years (at least in my case) my libido was slowly crushed. It took time.

As far as your penis losing sensation, that may be a question for a neurologist. Was there some event or condition (sudden or chronic) that could have precipitated a numbing of your penis?

I will think some more on your observations. Right now, dinner is ready.

[Lost Sheep]

But going back to my issue, I feel like my penis has lost sexual sensation as opposed to experiencing low libido, as if there are fewer nerves around it to help it respond better to sexual situations. For example, in the past just looking at my gf in her tight jeans made me want her. Now she can be dancing naked in front of me but getting turned on is a huge challenge.

So again I don’t know if this is an act of low libido or low sexual sensation as in fewer/ damaged nerves as I mentioned before. If perchance there is some nerve issue do you know if its possible to get those “dead” nerves working again or rehabilitated/ regenerated through some med or whatever?

Certain diseases can lower sex drive. Alcohol consumption can, as well (I have no idea if you drink at all, of course, so I am just throwing that out there). A consultation with a sex therapist wherein you can talk freely with a quicker turnaround time on questions and answers than you get on FrankTalk. I would try to find one with a Medical Degree, as the likelihood (my opinion) of crossover effects is high, I guess.

Are you still in love with your girlfriend? Loss of affection can start a cycle of decline. And, of course, I can safely opine that everyone here has experienced loss of sex drive generated from the shame of not being able to "perform".

Those guesses are not a diagnosis or an indictment of you, just what I myself have experienced or seen others go through.

And, as I posted earlier, as far as your penis losing sensation, that may be a question for a neurologist. Was there some event or condition (sudden or chronic) that could have precipitated a numbing of your penis? I do not personally know of any mental way to lower physical sensations, but there may be, especially in an arena where emotions and psychological forces are so powerful.

I am not any sort of medical professional, just have given my experiences and experiences of others a lot of thought. I hope this helps.

We do not know your age or other physical conditions. Those pieces of information might help us help you. Especially now that we have a better idea that your question relates to the physical sensations more than arousal and arousal more than mental, etc. (Sorry to be vague, but I am still guessing a little about what help you seek, though I believe I have a much better idea now than last week.)

[Lost Sheep]

I used the work "numbness" in an earlier post, but realize that Kinggg did not mean as severe a loss of / reduction of sensation as that word implies.

Let me expand with a story that might be illustrative:

As my E.D. progressed over the decades, eventually if became nearly (not completely, but nearly) impossible for me to get tumescence in my penis great enough for it to unfold in my underwear or stand up on its own. I could get orgasms if my girlfriend performed fellatio, but penetrative sex was gone, even with liberal amounts of oral drugs. Exciting thoughts and even touching began to lose effectiveness in getting a rise out of my penis. But once, when I was kissing my girlfriend, I felt a stirring. It was brief, but almost like "the good old days".

The sensation in my loins was ore intense than I had felt in a long time. Years perhaps.

My penis was not numb, by any definition, but the sensation was less than in my youth.

If this is the DEcrease that Kinggg would like to see reversed with the INcrease he seeks...I can only suggest trying to rule out physical causes (pinched nerve - perhaps from riding a racing bicycle or other activities like that) or some disease process and then investigating emotional or psychological causes (which we have hinted at before - worry about E.D. can cause some changes in our autonomic nervous system is a theory, but may have some validity) or falling out of love.

I wish I could be more help.