My story and whether I should consider an implant

[Lost Sheep]

At some point I will have to be able to do something to move past this horrible time in my life where all I dwell on is my struggles with sex.

WARNING: This post is an undiluted distillation of personal philosophy about sex. If it does not fit with your philosophy, I won't mind. (But you might ask your partner for an opinion)

In an ideal world, sex should not be a struggle. With a willing and cooperative partner, sex is a wonderful experience for both people. If your partner understands your caveats, limitations, etc (just as you understand hers-and believe me, most women have a litany of caveats and limitations, many of which make E.D. pale by comparison) sex, even without penile erection can be wonderful.

Not as wonderful and "easy" as it is WITH an erection, but if your principle goal is to pleasure your partner, the penis becomes less important than the clitoris and g-spot. And, as the erection becomes less important than HER orgasm, the male orgasm becomes more prominent as HER goal.

To my mind, sex is a cooperative and joint venture. So, let the adventure begin and explore all venues of sexual and sensual pleasure that a man and woman can give to each other.

So, I do not eschew any means of bringing forth a woman's orgasm, penis, hands, toys or tongue. And if you do that for her, she will bend every effort to do that for you, too.

The foregoing is my prediction based on experience and faith. Experience has shown me that women you please who do not put your orgasms (erect or flaccid) on their list of priorities are not worthy of your efforts. And (again, my philosophy) sex with such an unworthy woman is a waste of my time as simply masturbation with another person, not sex worth doing. Sex like that, I can do without. But maybe that is my age. When I was a callow youth, sex by any means was high on my priorities. Now, perspective has made me more selective and, I hope, more discerning.

[Markc2008]

Hey guys, so I am 37 years old— on the brink of 38. Up until a year and a half ago I had never had any sexual problems other than some slight PE from time to time. I had been on an antidepressant for probably five years with no issues. About a year and a half ago I decided I didn’t need the antidepressant anymore and didn’t refill the prescription and just stopped. My dr had never warned me about tapering off and I had no idea it was a big deal.

I am sorry to hear about your sudden deterioration of erectile function.
I will say firstly please listen to the guys who suggested that you do not jump into thoughts of getting an implant. This is the absolute last resort.
If there is a chance that injections will work for you and all other options have failed, this is the best way forward in my opinion too. Your real penis will always feel better than an artificial one, especially when you are a young man.

Since reading your post a few days ago, I have been giving it some thought.
In all your posts you do not give any information as to how your erections work when you are on your own? How difficult it is to get an erection when you are masturbating? How long this lasts for? Nocturnal erections and their frequency in the morning?

For such a sudden loss of erectile function we could rule out things like deterioration of the erectile tissues, fibrosis, or loss of endothelial function. However these things may start to occur if nocturnal erections are lost for too long a period.
As this has not been mentioned so far and you have nothing to lose; I would investigate pelvic floor issues. This can present itself with a varying degree of symptoms. Some get the hard flaccid syndrome others not. Some just get the loss of sensation, ED and penile shrinkage while flaccid as you have.
There will also be a strong psychological component to your ED now after all this time since your issues began. This complicates the issue and adds more symptoms. I could be completely wrong suggesting the above, but given that nothing has helped thus far, I would be looking into anything that might yield an answer.
IMO, forget consulting with urologists for something like this. I would be looking for a good sexual health specialist and a pelvic floor specialist with experience with male sexual issues and hard flaccid syndrome. The moderator on this forum should be able to help with this.

Are you experiencing any other symptoms?
Bowel issues?
Pain?
Have your anxiety levels increased?
Do you have more difficulty relaxing since stopping the AD.
Do you feel the flight and fight mechanism is engaged more so in your body now that you are not taking the AD, and or during sex?

Do you think that since stopping your antidepressants, that your mental condition has deteriorated? Has your depression crept back? Depression can also cause loss of libido and erectile dysfunction issues as well. This is worth considering also.

It was a complete lapse of professional care that your prescribing doctor did not inform you of the need to gradually come of these drugs slowly after 5 years of prescribing this medication. The drug you mention has not been approved in Australia, which always sets of alarm bells for me.

It is also worth mentioning that some form of an autonomic nervous system dysfunction may have developed since abruptly stopping the AD.

In the meantime you could discuss with a sexual health doctor about the benefits of using a low dose of Cialis every day. This will help with preventing deterioration in the penis from a possible lack of nocturnal erections, improve blood flow in the penis 24/7 and help to reduce oxidative stress in the erectile tissues. It will also possibly enable you to be more spontaneous for sex as the drug will be constantly in your system. The benefits of this sometimes take a number of months to start showing effect. This protocol has helped me substantially.
PDE5 inhibitors used chronically in this manner work in a different way than the higher dose on demand use. They perform restorative actions in the tissues that enable the blood vessels to dilate and contract. I say this without going into specific detail.

Thanks for the response. Yeah so it is no different masturbating. With myself erectile function is just as bad, maybe even worse. I have a very hard time getting an erection and keeping it. I have some form of arousal problems since stopping the AD for sure and probably some nervous system issues since I tend to get a lot of muscle spasms I’ve noticed as well. It could be hard flaccid or pelvic floor issues as well spawned by discontinuation. I do sometimes have nocturnal erections as I will half wake up in middle of night to one but never have morning erections or spontaneous erections throughout the day.

[Markc2008]

Hey guys, so I am 37 years old— on the brink of 38. Up until a year and a half ago I had never had any sexual problems other than some slight PE from time to time. I had been on an antidepressant for probably five years with no issues. About a year and a half ago I decided I didn’t need the antidepressant anymore and didn’t refill the prescription and just stopped. My dr had never warned me about tapering off and I had no idea it was a big deal.

I am sorry to hear about your sudden deterioration of erectile function.
I will say firstly please listen to the guys who suggested that you do not jump into thoughts of getting an implant. This is the absolute last resort.
If there is a chance that injections will work for you and all other options have failed, this is the best way forward in my opinion too. Your real penis will always feel better than an artificial one, especially when you are a young man.

Since reading your post a few days ago, I have been giving it some thought.
In all your posts you do not give any information as to how your erections work when you are on your own? How difficult it is to get an erection when you are masturbating? How long this lasts for? Nocturnal erections and their frequency in the morning?

For such a sudden loss of erectile function we could rule out things like deterioration of the erectile tissues, fibrosis, or loss of endothelial function. However these things may start to occur if nocturnal erections are lost for too long a period.
As this has not been mentioned so far and you have nothing to lose; I would investigate pelvic floor issues. This can present itself with a varying degree of symptoms. Some get the hard flaccid syndrome others not. Some just get the loss of sensation, ED and penile shrinkage while flaccid as you have.
There will also be a strong psychological component to your ED now after all this time since your issues began. This complicates the issue and adds more symptoms. I could be completely wrong suggesting the above, but given that nothing has helped thus far, I would be looking into anything that might yield an answer.
IMO, forget consulting with urologists for something like this. I would be looking for a good sexual health specialist and a pelvic floor specialist with experience with male sexual issues and hard flaccid syndrome. The moderator on this forum should be able to help with this.

Are you experiencing any other symptoms?
Bowel issues?
Pain?
Have your anxiety levels increased?
Do you have more difficulty relaxing since stopping the AD.
Do you feel the flight and fight mechanism is engaged more so in your body now that you are not taking the AD, and or during sex?

Do you think that since stopping your antidepressants, that your mental condition has deteriorated? Has your depression crept back? Depression can also cause loss of libido and erectile dysfunction issues as well. This is worth considering also.

It was a complete lapse of professional care that your prescribing doctor did not inform you of the need to gradually come of these drugs slowly after 5 years of prescribing this medication. The drug you mention has not been approved in Australia, which always sets of alarm bells for me.

It is also worth mentioning that some form of an autonomic nervous system dysfunction may have developed since abruptly stopping the AD.

In the meantime you could discuss with a sexual health doctor about the benefits of using a low dose of Cialis every day. This will help with preventing deterioration in the penis from a possible lack of nocturnal erections, improve blood flow in the penis 24/7 and help to reduce oxidative stress in the erectile tissues. It will also possibly enable you to be more spontaneous for sex as the drug will be constantly in your system. The benefits of this sometimes take a number of months to start showing effect. This protocol has helped me substantially.
PDE5 inhibitors used chronically in this manner work in a different way than the higher dose on demand use. They perform restorative actions in the tissues that enable the blood vessels to dilate and contract. I say this without going into specific detail.

Thanks for the response. Yeah so it is no different masturbating. With myself erectile function is just as bad, maybe even worse. I have a very hard time getting an erection and keeping it. I have some form of arousal problems since stopping the AD for sure and probably some nervous system issues since I tend to get a lot of muscle spasms I’ve noticed as well. It could be hard flaccid or pelvic floor issues as well spawned by discontinuation. I do sometimes have nocturnal erections as I will half wake up in middle of night to one but never have morning erections or spontaneous erections throughout the day.

I also while I get anxiety over this do not think I have depression

[Markc2008]

At some point I will have to be able to do something to move past this horrible time in my life where all I dwell on is my struggles with sex.

WARNING: This post is an undiluted distillation of personal philosophy about sex. If it does not fit with your philosophy, I won't mind. (But you might ask your partner for an opinion)

In an ideal world, sex should not be a struggle. With a willing and cooperative partner, sex is a wonderful experience for both people. If your partner understands your caveats, limitations, etc (just as you understand hers-and believe me, most women have a litany of caveats and limitations, many of which make E.D. pale by comparison) sex, even without penile erection can be wonderful.

Not as wonderful and "easy" as it is WITH an erection, but if your principle goal is to pleasure your partner, the penis becomes less important than the clitoris and g-spot. And, as the erection becomes less important than HER orgasm, the male orgasm becomes more prominent as HER goal.

To my mind, sex is a cooperative and joint venture. So, let the adventure begin and explore all venues of sexual and sensual pleasure that a man and woman can give to each other.

So, I do not eschew any means of bringing forth a woman's orgasm, penis, hands, toys or tongue. And if you do that for her, she will bend every effort to do that for you, too.

The foregoing is my prediction based on experience and faith. Experience has shown me that women you please who do not put your orgasms (erect or flaccid) on their list of priorities are not worthy of your efforts. And (again, my philosophy) sex with such an unworthy woman is a waste of my time as simply masturbation with another person, not sex worth doing. Sex like that, I can do without. But maybe that is my age. When I was a callow youth, sex by any means was high on my priorities. Now, perspective has made me more selective and, I hope, more discerning.

Yeah sex is very important to me at 37. I want to be able to have good sex with my wife. It kills my self esteem and we have always had good sex until past year. Thank you for your perspective.

[Lost Sheep]

Yeah sex is very important to me at 37. I want to be able to have good sex with my wife. It kills my self esteem and we have always had good sex until past year. Thank you for your perspective.

I hope it helps. When I struggled to have coitus, I learned (over a painfully long time) non-coital sex can cement a loving relationship. As a stopgap it can serve. I pray for you and your wife's relationship and know in my heart that clear and frank communication between you will see you through this temporary rough patch in your communal life.

Let your wife prop up your self-esteem. You are a good man, especially in her eyes. Be that and be well.

Edited to add:
After more than 3 decades of E.D. my self-esteem really took a beating. I did not realize for a long time that I even had E.D. and even longer that my self-esteem was suffering badly. Even now, with the support of a good woman at my side and a functioning (implanted) penis, my confidence is still recovering. And in ways and directions that still surprise me.

[Markc2008]

Thank you for the uplifting message. I really needed it.

[Old Guy]

Thanks guys for sharing your experiences. Do the injections always wear off after years or do some people use them forever? Are there negative side effects? Pain, scar tissue? Does it make things worse with time? Have you personally had one that wouldn’t go down?

The Trimix use really varies for all men. Some guys have used it for years, some guys it fails after a few years. An injection doesn't really hurt but for a few seconds, like any needle stick. Side effects can be penile scar tissue, bruising and pain. If you inject on different sides scar tissue isn't too big a concern, but if you tend to inject in one spot it's possible to develop some scar tissue. Bruising is usually minimal depending on how well you insert the needle. Pain can be nothing to pretty bad, again it varies in each man. Once my dosage got high (80 units) I would be sore for two days after.
Never had an erection that wouldn't go down when using injections. As long as I orgasmed it went down, although very slowly. Many a night I went to sleep still semi-hard.

[Markc2008]

Thanks for answering my questions. Scar tissue is a concern for me for sure. I’m sure bruising and pain is not fun either.

[cobylinks]

Sorry to hear about your problems.
When my ED started so did my anxiety
which caused me sweats and more anxiety and so on and so on.
when that happens you just know it's not goin to work.
Then you feel like your not a real man, unable to satisfy your wife.
Viagra work great in the beginning but if I wanted to keep it a secret I had
to guess when we were going to have sex and watch what I ate and drank.
If we tried to plan sex it just wasn't as much fun.
Tried injections and Got Peyronie's after just a short time.
Mr. Dr was great and said that a implant was probably my best option.
Boy was he ever right!
Straightened out almost all my peyronie's, lost all anxiety
Didn't have to plan sex and it still feel great. even better because
on the chance that I cum first I stay hard and involved so my wife can enjoy
for as long as she wants!
Masturbation feel great as well and available anytime. lol
When you exhausted all of the other options go for the implant
and don't look back

[Markc2008]

Thanks for the feedback. Did you lose any length? How old were you when you got it? My wife knows I take pills so I don’t have to hide it but it’s still a chore to try to plan it and yeah watch what you eat and drink. Part of my side effects is sensation is low there already so while orgasm still feels good, touch isn’t as great. I’m not concerned about it, just want to function and yes please my wife. And your right finishing first sucks and it’s been a problem lately.