barrylandon wrote:I'm so damn frustrated that after more than 8 months post-op I can't orgasm or ejaculate during sex, something I was able to do routinely before my IPP surgery.
Hey Barry,
I'm sorry you are having this experience.
I'm 14 months post-IPP surgery. Having an overall great experience with my new dick, but for sure, I agree and you're by no means alone - sensitivity is not the same as prior. It's plenty enjoyable for me, but it (my pleasure, sensitivity, the million sensations that are the building blocks to orgasms) all have a bit of a different nature to them these days and it's taken some mental and physical adjustments.
Curious, did you do injections before your IPP, for how long, and what was your overall experience if you injected as relates to sensitivity/orgasm/ejaculation?
Reason I ask is because during the 9 years I was injecting I had sort of trained myself to not come for really extended periods of time. I had something of an odd dynamic with myself in the sense that the TriMix hardons went forever and there should not have really logically been too much of a worry on my part about "orgasm = loss of erection"; that just mostly wasn't the case. Injecting should have given me the confidence and the green light to come pretty much whenever, because coming didn't mean we had to be done- but strangely the opposite became my thing.
I was capable of coming, but purposefully prolonged things by some mental gymnastics I won't even try to explain here. Somehow I just increasingly (with this girl, now my current wife, and this was certainly not the dynamic with my ex-wife) prolonged and prolonged and prolonged, to the point where my ejaculation and orgasm started to become very secondary for me. With the new girl (infinitely more sexual than my ex) I just found I so enjoyed every nuance and possibility with sex that I never wanted it to end. The journey became the thing. Sessions stretched for hours. Orgasm for me became a side issue. I was (and still am) genuinely happy about this. It serves me somehow and mostly fits me. I do think that, quietly and over a lot of years, my dick's sensitivity was somewhat impacted due to the needles. I think.
Having said all that...my wife now, still, years later, gets very turned on by the thought of her being able to make me come very quickly. This nourishes something in her. Says something deep to her I think, reinforces to her how crazily she turns me on, that I can't even resist, I can't even hold back, she makes me have no control, etc. With the right physicality around my dick...the right pressure, the right movements, the right situation where she's doing and saying filthy things to me...I am now kind of in the beginning stages of learning (I guess "re-learning") how to just let my mental shit go and to give myself permission to come. It is a process! The mind does what the mind does, and that little bastard inserts itself and gets in the way too often.
But, my mental games aside...there IS something different physically post-implant. I don't know. There really does seem to be a re-learning of some key parts of how my dick works and responds, and at 55 that's been odd for me (us) at times. We're trying to approach it with a lot of curiosity. Partially inflated BJs can get me to orgasm, but only if she is using a randomly alternating and really firm grip on my shaft. Handjobs...similar thing...difficult for me to get off that way unless there's very firm pressure on the max inflated shaft and a ton of spit/lube and her fingers/hand applying perineal area pressure helps accelerate things. When I masturbate I can come reliably but typically only with a lot of firm pressure + some lube. Vaginal sex - positions which put a really heavy load and pressure on my dick work best...missionary, doggy, these don't really deliver that hard pressure. Reverse cowgirl can, if she's very aggressive atop me. The absolute most reliable vaginal position we've found for applying the consistent very firm pressure I seem to want and need to come, is Amazon. Amazon is our vaginal go-to if she wants to make me come reasonably quickly.
Somewhat interestingly, my path to coming seems to be shortest in the situations where she is being the most assertive and aggressive, where she is the one exerting the most control and where the power dynamic shifts decidedly to her. I'm honestly not sure what to make of all that but it's fun and, I am certain, not purely physicality in play. Paging Dr. Freud...?
Barry, what about toys? Vibrators? Have you used them and what has been your experience? Will a vibrator deliver orgasms reliably? Aneros-type prostate stimulators?
When I'm having some difficulty coming, the right vibrator very reliably throws me over the edge, usually very quickly, no hand or hard pressure on shaft necessary. So we've continued to incorporate different vibes into things, including while we are actively fucking she may use one on me. I'll use a vibe when masturbating to come quickly. As much as some other things need work to get me to orgasm, the vibrator is seemingly mostly gold, it doesn't let us down. Highly recommend things like Aneros. While fucking. Just our experience, but there's some connection to the perineum / prostate having a lot of pressure on them which notably accelerates (and intensifies) my orgasm. For whatever it may be worth...!
