Wife is against me getting an implant

[ViaSwiss]

Hey guys,

I've sort of touched on this before, but looking for some thoughts on how you guys would feel or react in my situation.

My wife is very against me getting an implant. She says that it is uncomfortable for her and it is basically weird and unnatural. I've asked, how is having to take Viagra any more natural, both are induced erections. I've tried to show her articles, read her posts (very sentimental and thoughts out posts) from guys here on how it has effected them emotionally and how they are now able to share amazing experiences with their wives. I've found a few men, who had this done at a younger age and their wives are willing to talk to my wife about how they felt throughout the whole process. My wife's response to this is just "I've done my own research and I don't like it, I don't want to talk to random men or women about their husband's penis". At this point, any time I try to talk about it she just says I am being selfish and just trying to get her to change her mind.

Initially in our relationship, I sort of tried to hide all the issues, but as you all know, once you move in together its harder to discrete and spontaneous. Over time, I've tried to explain how its affected me emotionally, for so long. How it makes me timid of hugging or flirting her out of fear that it could escalate leaving me to deal with failure (again). Thankfully when I have failed, she has handled it well, better than my ex who used to internalize it and shut down.

She is all but saying, its the implant or her. And to be honest, our relationship has not been good. I actually told her I wanted a divorce a few months ago and she talked me into staying, however the things that changed for 2 weeks after that have gone back to not good. We've had sex about 2x per month over the past 1.5 years despite me trying (with a broken dick) at least 2x per week and getting shutdown.

Now that I've written this all out, I think I understand much clearer what I need to do. But either way I'll still press submit and post it to hear all your thoughts. Looks like I'll likely be single with a new dick later this year.

[strongagain]

Get rid of her asap. There are more caring and clever ones around. Plenty of it.

[Whywhywhy]

She is the one being selfish. It is your body and you ultimately choose what is best for you and your mental state. She is probably insecure that you will have on demand erections and will leave her since your relationship is already rocky.

[Waynetho]

My wife is very against me getting an implant. She says that it is uncomfortable for her and it is basically weird and unnatural. I've asked, how is having to take Viagra any more natural, both are induced erections. I've tried to show her articles, read her posts (very sentimental and thoughts out posts) from guys here on how it has effected them emotionally and how they are now able to share amazing experiences with their wives. I've found a few men, who had this done at a younger age and their wives are willing to talk to my wife about how they felt throughout the whole process. My wife's response to this is just "I've done my own research and I don't like it, I don't want to talk to random men or women about their husband's penis". At this point, any time I try to talk about it she just says I am being selfish and just trying to get her to change her mind.

How does she know it's uncomfortable? Or does she mean uncomfortable for her to think about what the surgery entails (squeamish)? If she's not experienced an implanted dick first hand, how does she know it will be weird and unnatural?

She is all but saying, its the implant or her. And to be honest, our relationship has not been good. I actually told her I wanted a divorce a few months ago and she talked me into staying, however the things that changed for 2 weeks after that have gone back to not good. We've had sex about 2x per month over the past 1.5 years despite me trying (with a broken dick) at least 2x per week and getting shutdown.

Now that I've written this all out, I think I understand much clearer what I need to do. But either way I'll still press submit and post it to hear all your thoughts. Looks like I'll likely be single with a new dick later this year.

Your body, your choice. She really should not be the deciding factor on your own emotional stability regarding your manhood. If you feel it will make you whole, complete, functional, and you are less than that now, it should be your choice even if she never wants to have anything to do with your implanted dick. Other men have made the choice to have the surgery for their own emotional reasons, to enhance their own self-image.

Who knows, after you get the implant you might get her to test-drive it once. Even once with a good long session might be enough to change her mind. Otherwise, as you say, you may end up single and back on the market. Thankfully my wife of 39 years accepted mine although it took a little time before she would allow any coitus (she said it was out of fear of hurting me). Since then not only has my wife enjoyed my new toy but she has allowed me to share it with select others too, including her long-time girlfriend. May you be so blessed!

[jmack858]

make the appointment and get the Implant. You will be glad you did! I hate to say it, but it sounds like from her words she's not interesting in you getting a implant because you would be able to have sex and that's not what she wants. If she has read anything on this site, she would know there are very few men and wives on here that are not very happy they got a implant. We all feel like Brand new men!!!

[kickit40]

Via,

I am going through a similar situation.

For the first 8 years of my marriage my dick worked just fine but it my wife never wanted to have sex whenever she got preggo with our first. I would try to talk to her about it and it would turn into a fight every time. If I cared more about her, focused more on her, sex isn't important to her, and etc...

After my vasectomy I had a flaccid injury which started to cause my ED, PD, and etc. She started to want more sex and would make negative comments whenever I couldn't perform. The comments really impacted me mentally and would hurt myself esteem.

Well, I have been going through a divorce over the past few months and decided I needed to do it for myself and nobody else. I want to have a great sex life either with her or somebody else. I had an implant surgery on December 30th this past year. Since we are separated and working through the divorce I didn't tell her I was getting an implant. I told I was get a surgery to fix my issues and it was recommended by a doctor.

Trust, I have gotten comments from her such as "now you are getting it fixed for someone else" or "timing is interesting on your surgery" or "you got your dick fixed to screw other girls". I got some other BS comments the other day. Either way I don't care. We are working towards separate lives and I did this for me. My confidence has skyrocketed since the surgery and my mental state has improved tremendously.

She probably doesn't want you to get an implant because she knows all the benefits of being able to perform and have a great sex life. She's probably miserable and wants you to be miserable as well. If she wanted fake tits or lip injections is she going to ask for your approval?

Dude, do it for you! And your likely future mate!

[williamb]

Do it and move on without her because it sounds like you will have a miserable married life, speaking from experience. I did and do not regret it for a minute.
Dave

[AST2123]

Interesting one!
I am also in a similar situation with some differences. My wife doesn't accept the idea of having an implant because she doesn't like surgeries. When I had my RP, and then hernia repair, she didn't sleep many nights before the surgery. She gets very stressed.
Although we had penetrative sex only a couple of times in 2018, using the Trimix, which failed eventually, she is still against the idea. But because I know that we both need the implant, I didn't tell her about it. The day of my surgery, I told her that I am having a hernia repair, as she already has idea about, and understands its necessity. She picked me up from the hospital entrance the day after the surgery, and so far, she has no idea about the implant. I also believe it will be a nice surprise for her, without having to go through the stress of the implant recovery.
Since your wife already knows that you are planning to have the implant, it is better to speak to her openly. She could have some fears that you do not know yet. Tell her that you really need to have the implant for your marriage to continue. Definitely, she gets upset when you try having sex and it doesn't happen.
The last resort is to have your surgery, and when you are done, inform her that you had to do it for yourself, for her, and for your marriage. The picture will be clear for both of you then.

[LeRoastBeef]

Given what you sex life is now, single with a new dick next year sounds grand. Onwards and quite literally upwards.
Life is too short to endure such deprivation.

[AST2123]

Via,

Trust, I have gotten comments from her such as "now you are getting it fixed for someone else" or "timing is interesting on your surgery" or "you got your dick fixed to screw other girls". I got some other BS comments the other day.

Dude, do it for you! And your likely future mate!

Signs that she doesn't want a divorce. I am not in favor of the idea of having a divorce in such circumstances. Lack of good sex makes life miserable. Try to get back with your wife, and see how your relationship will change when you have the intimate relationship back. Women hormones change dramatically, and so their mood.