Sex anxiety

[ohheycanada]

I’ve booked in with a urologist but what do I say to the girl now as I’m panicking a lot

Cheers again

The only way to approach this is open and honest communication, bud. Ever since I finally acknowledged that I have ED and started getting treatment for it, I've put it out there up front with every girl I've dated or been involved with. And, not shockingly, every single one of them has been not only cool with it, but really supportive and patient with me on those occasions where sildenafil isn't quite working for me (I have high anxiety, and in my experience anxiety can still have an effect on my erections even with 100mg of sildenafil pumping through my veins).

Also, talk to your urologist about the injections. They'll of course want to test your hormone levels, etc. But if there's no hormonal issues, insist on exploring injection therapy. INSIST. Because most doctors (regardless of specialization) are just like the general population: They don't really like to talk about sex.

Be your own advocate and get the treatment you feel like you need. And have a frank, honest conversation with your girl. You CAN take control of this and have a "normal" sex life.

Good luck, buddy.

[Lost Sheep]

Hi there

Need advice and answers please

I have really bad anxiety when it comes to sex, I just do and I can’t help it

When I fail I end up being really depressed and it’s scares me.
Due to this I’ve gone back on my anti-depressants as I can’t deal with it.
I’ve recently started to see a girl and I’ve not being able to get out of my head and it’s meant I’ve kind of ended this relationship

I feel I’ll be like this forever. It’s all I think about which I know is bad but I keep thinking will I be like this forever.

I’m going to try mindfulness and keep on the medication. I’m 4 weeks in on 50mg of sertraline ( Zoloft )

I can’t keep doing this to my self, the not knowing is killing me.
(edited for brevity and focus)
What do you guys think ?

Thanks for reading

Knowledge is power. It dispels fear, confusion and is a powerful tool against frustration, anxiety and depression. If you know your "enemy" you have less doubt about what to fear.

"The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself." (U.S. President F.D. Roosevelt) It is not our adversities that hurt us. It is our response to them.

I have found that women are incredibly supportive if they feel desired, trusted, respected and safe. Ohheycanada's post is spot-on.

I went on a dating site and was honest about my inability to have sex and that I was intending to have an implant to fix that problem. My honesty and candor was commented on several times as "brave" and "refreshing". Whether or not you are on the road to a treatment, any woman with whom you have a relationship is more than just a sex partner (ideally). Most women take the whole man into themselves when they have sex, not just a penis. If you are with a woman who takes only your penis, she is not a person you want to waste time with (my judgement and opinion).

Don't waste a day of a potential RELATIONSHIP just because sex may be a little difficult.

Trust her. Let her know by your words and actions that you want to please her and that trust her with your innermost secrets.

Life is too short to miss the joys of sex and too long to endure its absence.

Wishing you the best.