Married bisexuals still seeing men.

Most times, ED is ED. But sometimes, concerns are going to be different.
Halmar

Re: Married bisexuals still seeing men.

Postby Halmar » Tue Jun 29, 2021 7:14 pm

Lost Sheep wrote:
Halmar wrote:Yea, its something to consider. I just don't know how she would react to me making that request in the first place.

Ah, yes. Communication is essential. Sex is a cooperative activity and a mis-match in desires (both the types of activity and the levels/frequency) is something that needs to be worked out., I'm

Step one is to be open about your desires. Not necessarily asking her to do anything, but just to hear you. And probably not all at once, either. Just telling her you want to talk about sexual activities "some time in the future" might be all it takes to get the ball rolling. You don't know if she has unspoken desires also.

At this point (I think) listening to her (words and body language, both) is more important than what you say to her.


Yea I'm not sure I am comfortable with her knowing I am bisexual

Lost Sheep
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Re: Married bisexuals still seeing men.

Postby Lost Sheep » Tue Jun 29, 2021 7:40 pm

Halmar wrote:Yea I'm not sure I am comfortable with her knowing I am bisexual

Remember, you don't have to reveal EVERYTHING. Just letting her know you would like to receive anal stimulation from her should be enough.

Of course, letting her know you are bisexual perforce notifies her you are interested in extra-marital sex. That is a completely different issue. (Unless she might be interested in a threesome with another man in the mix.) But that would be a subject to approach very slowly and best left to her to bring up. Better that it is her idea (or that she thinks it is.)
Lost Sheep
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Prostate Cancer 2023
READ OLD THREADS-ask better questions -better understand answers
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Pre-op VED therapy helps. Post-op is another matter

Halmar

Re: Married bisexuals still seeing men.

Postby Halmar » Tue Jun 29, 2021 9:39 pm

Lost Sheep wrote:
Halmar wrote:Yea I'm not sure I am comfortable with her knowing I am bisexual

Remember, you don't have to reveal EVERYTHING. Just letting her know you would like to receive anal stimulation from her should be enough.

Of course, letting her know you are bisexual perforce notifies her you are interested in extra-marital sex. That is a completely different issue. (Unless she might be interested in a threesome with another man in the mix.) But that would be a subject to approach very slowly and best left to her to bring up. Better that it is her idea (or that she thinks it is.)


It certainly wouldn't be my idea... I know, I'm a hypocrite.

Lost Sheep
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Re: Married bisexuals still seeing men.

Postby Lost Sheep » Wed Jun 30, 2021 12:37 am

Halmar wrote:
Lost Sheep wrote:
Halmar wrote:Yea I'm not sure I am comfortable with her knowing I am bisexual

Remember, you don't have to reveal EVERYTHING. Just letting her know you would like to receive anal stimulation from her should be enough.

Of course, letting her know you are bisexual perforce notifies her you are interested in extra-marital sex. That is a completely different issue. (Unless she might be interested in a threesome with another man in the mix.) But that would be a subject to approach very slowly and best left to her to bring up. Better that it is her idea (or that she thinks it is.)


It certainly wouldn't be my idea... I know, I'm a hypocrite.

I don't understand. What aspect of the scenario makes you out to be a hypocrite? (I thought to ask what I guess, but that would take us down the proverbial rabbit hole.)

I have said it many times before and will tell you now, "Women are incredibly supportive and accepting it they feel desired, trusted and respected." (With the caveat that they also do not feel ambushed.) It is in their chromosomes and can be resisted under onlly the most extreme of circumstances (feeling betrayaed being the most extreme).

Communicate with her. Gentlyl. Slowly and with the knowledge that you ( both) trust, respect and love each other.

Hold her hand or keep skin-to-skin contact during the conversation and eye-to-eye contact. If she breaks off, slow down. Maybe let what you have conveyed to her sink in. Always end with the assurance that SHE is the most important aspect of your life.

Women (and us men, too) are like skittish horses or tiny birds. Easily spooked. But the rewards of a gentle approach and patience are ample.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017
Prostate Cancer 2023
READ OLD THREADS-ask better questions -better understand answers
Be part of your medical team
Document pre-op size-photos and written records
Pre-op VED therapy helps. Post-op is another matter

Lost Sheep
Posts: 6162
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: Married bisexuals still seeing men.

Postby Lost Sheep » Wed Jun 30, 2021 1:51 am

Is her desire for less often a recent development or was that her preference from the begining?

If she does not want your penis in her vagina more often than once a month or two. perhaps she would enjoy stimulating your anus/prostate more often that PIV sex. That wouold be the best of the two worlds. Communication is key.

I shared my posts (and yours) with my girlfriend and she came up with these ideas.

I hope you don't mind my sharing with her.

Perhaps she has some physical issues over which she is dissatisfied with herslf as sexually desirable. Women are very complicated. That might reduce her eagerness for sex.

Are their privacy issues? Children hearing you two may be on her mind.

Perhaps she has issues with YOUR sex appeal. As a man ages, his metabolism might make changes in his scent or cause other changes.

Those are simply things my girlfriend came up with on my first reading of these posts to her.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017
Prostate Cancer 2023
READ OLD THREADS-ask better questions -better understand answers
Be part of your medical team
Document pre-op size-photos and written records
Pre-op VED therapy helps. Post-op is another matter

Halmar

Re: Married bisexuals still seeing men.

Postby Halmar » Wed Jun 30, 2021 4:04 am

Lost Sheep wrote:
Halmar wrote:
Lost Sheep wrote:Remember, you don't have to reveal EVERYTHING. Just letting her know you would like to receive anal stimulation from her should be enough.

Of course, letting her know you are bisexual perforce notifies her you are interested in extra-marital sex. That is a completely different issue. (Unless she might be interested in a threesome with another man in the mix.) But that would be a subject to approach very slowly and best left to her to bring up. Better that it is her idea (or that she thinks it is.)


It certainly wouldn't be my idea... I know, I'm a hypocrite.

I don't understand. What aspect of the scenario makes you out to be a hypocrite? (I thought to ask what I guess, but that would take us down the proverbial rabbit hole.)

I have said it many times before and will tell you now, "Women are incredibly supportive and accepting it they feel desired, trusted and respected." (With the caveat that they also do not feel ambushed.) It is in their chromosomes and can be resisted under onlly the most extreme of circumstances (feeling betrayaed being the most extreme).

Communicate with her. Gentlyl. Slowly and with the knowledge that you ( both) trust, respect and love each other.

Hold her hand or keep skin-to-skin contact during the conversation and eye-to-eye contact. If she breaks off, slow down. Maybe let what you have conveyed to her sink in. Always end with the assurance that SHE is the most important aspect of your life.

Women (and us men, too) are like skittish horses or tiny birds. Easily spooked. But the rewards of a gentle approach and patience are ample.



I feel like a hypocrite because I am secretly sleeping around but I would not be happy at all if another man had my wife.

Lost Sheep
Posts: 6162
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: Married bisexuals still seeing men.

Postby Lost Sheep » Wed Jun 30, 2021 2:54 pm

Halmar wrote:I feel like a hypocrite because I am secretly sleeping around but I would not be happy at all if another man had my wife.

Oh. I got the impression that your dalliance with your cousin was years ago and an isolated period. My mistake.

This an another issue to be dealt with and outside the scope of my experiences (at least my successful experiences).
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017
Prostate Cancer 2023
READ OLD THREADS-ask better questions -better understand answers
Be part of your medical team
Document pre-op size-photos and written records
Pre-op VED therapy helps. Post-op is another matter

Agfa13
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Location: Laurel, Maryland

Re: Married bisexuals still seeing men.

Postby Agfa13 » Sat Jul 24, 2021 10:05 am

LS, I was under that impression too!
Yeah, I can understand being hypocritical. The grass always seems greener on the other side, so we all worry about it.
Ag, 58, Maryland
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toolman
Posts: 36
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2021 7:24 am
Location: NE TENNESSEE

Re: Married bisexuals still seeing men.

Postby toolman » Tue Jul 27, 2021 11:45 am

intersted in NE TN

Hounds68
Posts: 131
Joined: Thu Dec 05, 2019 4:37 pm
Location: Florida

Re: Married bisexuals still seeing men.

Postby Hounds68 » Sun Aug 08, 2021 11:15 am

Toolman, you will have more success if you use the Silverdaddies site for sexual encounters and dates and even LTR.


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