Help, overthinking post-op

[tomas1]

confused, do any of these inhibitions go away when you use alcohol?
I know that's not a long term solution, but maybe it could get you started?

[confused95]

confused, do any of these inhibitions go away when you use alcohol?
I know that's not a long term solution, but maybe it could get you started?

It depends … there are some days in which I do not even think at my problem and last time I went out with a girl at the cinema and she gently scratched (?) my arm and I got a super erection for half an hour without Cialis. There are some other days in which I cannot even text her because I feel extremely anxious and I cannot even think of sex because I get too anxious. It is not the sex itself, it is the idea that I could be alone for a problem that I do not physically have while other guys are having sex and fucking around as I did 2 years ago. To answer your question, I think that alcool could help but only if I am in a positive period, otherwise alcool just makes me more anxious.
Moreover I think that this very negative period is given by the fact that I am on antidepressants withdrawal as my psychiatrist says that I need talk therapy and not antidepressants. So this very negative period together with suicidal thoughts may be also given by the withdrawal syndrome, as I reduced the antidepressants fast (more than halved in 15 days) always under medical advice.

[Mark74]

"I'm concerned about missing a month in the gym, the incredible pain I'll be in, being bionic for life, etc. But it seems its possible that once I went through the dark tunnel, my life would be quite different than it is right now."

Do you know who wrote this?

[Lost Sheep]

"I'm concerned about missing a month in the gym, the incredible pain I'll be in, being bionic for life, etc. But it seems its possible that once I went through the dark tunnel, my life would be quite different than it is right now."

Do you know who wrote this?

"Search" function (upper right if you are using a web browser) on the term "tunnel" yielded this result (among many, but it was the third one down)

viewtopic.php?f=19&t=15921&p=155744&hilit=tunnel#p155744

[Txagq8]

I don’t think alcohol is a solution. Back in the late 80s before I found a cutting edge Urologist prescribing injections, the advice I was given was “drink a glass of wine and use a cock ring.”

As far as effectiveness, we are right up there with bloodletting, leeches, and mud poultices.

I wouldn’t eliminate the idea of a therapist. Physical problems often set off psychological issues and things don’t get to where they need to be until both are addressed. Hell, my wife and I are going to go see a shrink for some couples counseling. Part of it is how to deal with 90 yr old mom under roof, 2 border collies, gutting and restoring two 100 year old houses, but you can bet we are going to touch on the husband who wants sex 3 times a day and the wife who wants it 3 times a month.

Biggest thing, I think, is guys want to be normal. But noby knows what the hell normal actually is.

[squirrel]

Maybe the pain meds are causing some depression and doubt. Pull yourself up by the boot straps. Dust yourself off and get through the pain. In several weeks you will have a functional dick like no other. I mean your going to be ROBODICK. You will be happy and the Gals will be smiling.

I haven't been there but I'm waiting for next year to pull the trigger with some better insurance. I was also thinking a 22cm implant ain't that small. Especially if it has tip extenders. If I put my dick in a winch and stretched to max. I might get 5". Yea I got the short end of the dick. But that's just what I was dealt. From reading here, I know its possible I could lose 1/2". I will take that any day than my dead in the dirt wiggler.

Keep Your Spirits up !

[Lost Sheep]

From reading here, I know its possible I could lose 1/2". I will take that any day than my dead in the dirt wiggler.

Keep Your Spirits up !

Yeah, the choice between a 4" (10cm) ramrod or a10" (25cm) squishy toy is easy for most.

[tomas1]

About alcohol, I realize that could be a problem if one is depressed.
I believe it would increase those feelings.
Maybe in a good period it would be different?

[Lost Sheep]

confused, do any of these inhibitions go away when you use alcohol?
I know that's not a long term solution, but maybe it could get you started?

It depends … there are some days in which I do not even think at my problem and last time I went out with a girl at the cinema and she gently scratched (?) my arm and I got a super erection for half an hour without Cialis. There are some other days in which I cannot even text her because I feel extremely anxious and I cannot even think of sex because I get too anxious. It is not the sex itself, it is the idea that I could be alone for a problem that I do not physically have while other guys are having sex and fucking around as I did 2 years ago. To answer your question, I think that alcool could help but only if I am in a positive period, otherwise alcool just makes me more anxious.
Moreover I think that this very negative period is given by the fact that I am on antidepressants withdrawal as my psychiatrist says that I need talk therapy and not antidepressants. So this very negative period together with suicidal thoughts may be also given by the withdrawal syndrome, as I reduced the antidepressants fast (more than halved in 15 days) always under medical advice.

Have you tried the direct approach? Cut right to the problem with surgical precision (but not with a scalpel).

TALK to the girl.

This may take courage (or desperation, as it was in my case). But a lot better than most other patchwork solutions (such as alcohol, applied to yourself or to her, which sometimes does work temporarily).


I understand that for a young man to admit to a sexual dysfunction might make him fear loss of reputation among his circle of friends. That is a risk. But a woman worth spending time with is not likely to go blabbing your secrets if you don't piss her off.

When my E.D. began the transition towards impotence, I generally told my date (if and when sex was a potential) that "my penis does not work as well as it should, but I will make every effort to please you." I learned cunnilingus and how to use my hands and sexual aids (toys) to masturbate her. These skills (even after my implanted penis is unstoppable) are still useful and QUITE appreciated.

I went on a dating site and was honest about my inability to have sex and that I was intending to have an implant to fix that problem. My honesty and candor was commented on several times as "brave" and "refreshing".

Trust her. Let her know by your words and actions that you want to please her and that trust her with your innermost secrets.

Life is too short to miss the joys of sex and too long to endure its absence.

If a counselor is needed to buck you up to try my advice, go. Crutches such as alcohol are often ultimatly counter-productive. Other crutches used carefully can lead to recovery. Use of those is generally left to a professional. Medicating oneself is often a losing proposition because self-evaluation is often wrong (contrast with self-examination, which is often productive).

[Chervenm]

confused, do any of these inhibitions go away when you use alcohol?
I know that's not a long term solution, but maybe it could get you started?

It depends … there are some days in which I do not even think at my problem and last time I went out with a girl at the cinema and she gently scratched (?) my arm and I got a super erection for half an hour without Cialis. There are some other days in which I cannot even text her because I feel extremely anxious and I cannot even think of sex because I get too anxious. It is not the sex itself, it is the idea that I could be alone for a problem that I do not physically have while other guys are having sex and fucking around as I did 2 years ago. To answer your question, I think that alcool could help but only if I am in a positive period, otherwise alcool just makes me more anxious.
Moreover I think that this very negative period is given by the fact that I am on antidepressants withdrawal as my psychiatrist says that I need talk therapy and not antidepressants. So this very negative period together with suicidal thoughts may be also given by the withdrawal syndrome, as I reduced the antidepressants fast (more than halved in 15 days) always under medical advice.

Have you tried the direct approach? Cut right to the problem with surgical precision (but not with a scalpel).

TALK to the girl.

This may take courage (or desperation, as it was in my case). But a lot better than most other patchwork solutions (such as alcohol, applied to yourself or to her, which sometimes does work temporarily).


I understand that for a young man to admit to a sexual dysfunction might make him fear loss of reputation among his circle of friends. That is a risk. But a woman worth spending time with is not likely to go blabbing your secrets if you don't piss her off.

When my E.D. began the transition towards impotence, I generally told my date (if and when sex was a potential) that "my penis does not work as well as it should, but I will make every effort to please you." I learned cunnilingus and how to use my hands and sexual aids (toys) to masturbate her. These skills (even after my implanted penis is unstoppable) are still useful and QUITE appreciated.

I went on a dating site and was honest about my inability to have sex and that I was intending to have an implant to fix that problem. My honesty and candor was commented on several times as "brave" and "refreshing".

Trust her. Let her know by your words and actions that you want to please her and that trust her with your innermost secrets.

Life is too short to miss the joys of sex and too long to endure its absence.

If a counselor is needed to buck you up to try my advice, go. Crutches such as alcohol are often ultimatly counter-productive. Other crutches used carefully can lead to recovery. Use of those is generally left to a professional. Medicating oneself is often a losing proposition because self-evaluation is often wrong (contrast with self-examination, which is often productive).

This. Talk to your partner or potential partners. I'm 55. I've had ED from age 18. When viagra came out i tried it. When levitra and cialis came out I tried them. Best they ever did was half erect. I've had sex with probably 75 people while suffering from ED. Most times not PIV sex. I've always initiated a discussion about it with them before/while getting naked. A few of them had a problem with my ED. Most I was able to assure it had nothing to do with them (I think that's the first thought they have). Most came back for more even if I couldn't achieve penetration (probably because I made up for it orally, so concentrate on that). And some I had long term relationships with, including my current gf who has supported me with my recent experimentation with injections (and I've discussed the possibility of an implant with her, which she seems really really interested in, as am I).

Ok, I rambled here. My point is that I've found that being honest and opening the discussion at the very start goes a long way toward getting your partner to understand that it's a medical issue and not a failure on their part. As for the relatively few people who bailed on me because of my ED, I'm glad they're gone.

Mike