Crazy Psychogenic ED, on anti-depressants now

[confused95]

Hey guys,
I'd like to share my super weird story and get some hints to see things positively.

I am 25 yo, and never had ED and I have never had any psychological problems. ED didn't even cross my mind, my penis was ready whenever I needed and I had a good libido.
In dec 2019 I started dating a new girl and the second time we met we had sex, the first two times were pretty good, the third time (in three hours ) my penis decided to quit the game (there is a specific reason for that, a weird sexual request from the girl I tried to satisfy...). It was the first time this happened and I felt so bad...
After that day, we tried to have sex many times but my erection dropped during the penetration.
Covid has arrived and I haven't had the chance to meet that girl again.
Meanwhile, my masturbatory life proceeded pretty good: strong erections and no worries (once a day, most of the times watching porn) but I constantly had the attention on the quality of my erections (e.g. morning woods, change in the erection depending on the position, ecc..)
In january 2021 during a masturbation I suddenly lost my erection and I couldn't get it back.. I got really frightened: couldn't sleep and couldn't get erections for almost 2 weeks.
I decided to go to an urologist that visited me and told me I had no physical problem, thus my ED was 100% psychogenic.
Knowing this, things improved a little bit and I started having strong morning woods and sometimes (when I had no anxiety), also very good erections during masturbation.
By the way I now suffer from a tremendous performance anxiety (also during masturbation) and most of the times whenever I start getting an erection my anxiety inexplicabily increases and of course, my penis goes down.
I tried with a psychological teraphy but it just made things worse (I had just four meetings, but I was in a mood for which theraphy was just not helping), so three weeks ago I was so close to committing suicide that my parents brought me to a psychiatrist that prescribed me two antidepressants (Trintellix and Mirtazapine). I'm now feeling much better now and the suicidal thoughts are far now, but I still have a crazy performance anxiety that doesn't let me have or keep erection.
What kills me is that I have no physical problems at all as now I have very strong morning woods and when I soflty touch my penis and I think at something not sexual I get a valid erection, and as my anxiety level is high and I have very poor libido I do not think inibitors would help.
I'm just afraid I will never be able to have sex again as sex, erections and masturbation are giving me so much anxiety right now....

[Flavio]

You are not sick and this is not ED, anxiety is a perfectly normal biological reaction.

Anxiety is, however, a major erection killer.

This is hardly surprising: the last thing you need when you're facing danger or a stressful situation is an erection (fight or flight response).

The good news: sexual performance anxiety is easily treatable. All you need to do is find ways to control your anxiety levels.

Seeing a doctor (urologist) is the first step to take. Even if this is just psychogenic, a doctor will be able to help you.

Doing some research on this subject is step #2. Read books, talk to doctors, consult good websites: the more you know about sex, the less stressful it will be.

I battled this curse for more than 20 years but back then there was no internet, no Frank Talk and very little information on this subject.

Today I have a perfectly normal sex life and if I could do it, so can you.

I always take two Seredyn tablets 1 hour before sex and it works. Seredyn is a natural supplement for the treatment of anxiety, it does not cause sedation and some of its ingredients may even improve sexual performance (e.g. l-theanine, niacinamide).

Good luck and keep us posted on your progress.

[Flavio]

[...] I'm just afraid I will never be able to have sex again as sex, erections and masturbation are giving me so much anxiety right now....

Yes, we know the feeling. I used to think this all the time when I was your age.

Today I'm 44 y.o. and I'm having the best sex ever.

[confused95]

Thanks Flavio;
Good to know I’m not alone!
I’m continuing my anti depressant treatment and last Sunday I tried for the first time Cialis.
Urologist suggested me to take it for 6 months, 5mg every two days.
God, this is powerful, I take it and my dick seems to on steroids! Even after I cum it stays hard for 3/4 minutes, like when I was 13 . That has given me some confidence back because I’m pretty sure that if I take 20mg and some anti-anxiety pills like Xanax I’m pretty sure I could have some good sex.
Btw I think that overall my situation is improving, I don’t know if it is thanks to anti-depressants, Cialis or what, last week was very good and I thought very little about my ed. Yesterday and today things go a little bit worse but I think it is part of the healing process.
Thanks god we live in an epoch in which we can count on Cialis, Viagra, and other amazing stuff:

I promise I’ll keep my healing journey up-to-date, I bet there are many other poor young guys in this awful situation.

[Mike_b]

I suffered from all the stress a penile fracture could cause, started hearing voices, they are gone now. The fracture is still withstanding.

[confused95]

Update:
4 months on Vortioxetine 10mg and Mirtazapine 15mg
2 months on Citalopram 40mg
Mood is not better.. I still feel very depressed.
I’ve talked to a new psychiatrist and he suggested to stop taking so many meds and we’ll start psychotherapy… meanwhile I’ve started dating a new girl and I hope that Cialis or Viagra will help me in case we’ll have sex.

[EveningWood]

Hi Confused95,


Perhaps a huge part of the depression problem is focusing too much on the ED issue.


You can pick up a new hobby/focus on your job and it will not occupy your mind as much.


Also, we have had some discussions via PM, but not sure if you take only 5mg Cialis/every two days or 5mg Cialis every two days + additional 15-20 mg before sex?


Best regards,
EveingWood

[Lost Sheep]

Update:
4 months on Vortioxetine 10mg and Mirtazapine 15mg
2 months on Citalopram 40mg
Mood is not better.. I still feel very depressed.
I’ve talked to a new psychiatrist and he suggested to stop taking so many meds and we’ll start psychotherapy… meanwhile I’ve started dating a new girl and I hope that Cialis or Viagra will help me in case we’ll have sex.

My perennial advice with a partner you want to have a relationship with (even a temporary one longer than one single encounter) is to level with them. Telling a partner that you have an erectile problem makes them feel included as part of your efforts to effect a solution. This reduces potential disappointment and increases their participation in the sex act. Win-win.

Just my opinion. This is my advice.

[confused95]

Hi Confused95,


Perhaps a huge part of the depression problem is focusing too much on the ED issue.


You can pick up a new hobby/focus on your job and it will not occupy your mind as much.


Also, we have had some discussions via PM, but not sure if you take only 5mg Cialis/every two days or 5mg Cialis every two days + additional 15-20 mg before sex?


Best regards,
EveingWood

I take Cialis every 36 hours. No sex unfortunately… too afraid to fail to try to have sex. I’ve now reduced antidepressants as my doc recommended and I’m seeing a therapist every week. Masturbation is fine, I masturbate once/two times a day and most of the times I have no anxiety. It looks like things are slowly improving.

[confused95]

A quick update:
I have started a talk therapy, once a week. Friday it is going to be my fifth time. The therapist is a psychiatrist, thus he is also managing my antidepressants.
I have gradually reduced them in the last month and a half and honestly I'm feeling much better.

Now I am just taking:
15mg Mirtazapine (it does not cause sexual side effects and it is good to sleep, I will stop it in two weeks if everything goes as it should)
10mg Citalopram (in one week I should stop taking it according to my doc, I'm reducing it gradually)
1mg Pasaden (Z-drug, to manage my anxiety).

I'm feeling much better! A little bit of anxiety but my depression is almost gone.
Masturbation is fine also most of the times, but these months have brought me into a very stressful mood when it comes to masturbation (or sex), for this reason I feel like my problem has become worse, sexually speaking.
My therapist wants me to reduce the number of times I masturbate because he thinks (and he is indeed right), that I do not masturbate because I feel the need, but because I want to test my erection and check if I'll be able to do it and keep the erection or not. Until 3 weeks ago, I masturbated 2/3 times a day. Now I am trying to do it every other day. Weird fact: I can only masturbate in the evening as I am more relaxed.

He has also asked me to spend less time on forums like franktalk, I'm working on that also trying to limit the time I spend on these websites to one hour each day, but that's freaking hard ahahha.
Lastly, he asked me to stop taking daily Cialis, I do not fully agree with his decision, as when I tried to stop I felt very anxious and I could not masturbate, but it is something I'm working on. I feel like the last thing to stop taking btw, antidepressants are much worse than Cialis.

I'm also dating a new girl, she is very nice and it does not look like she is super interested in sex, that could be good!