When you can finally date again

[newbie443]

I was cleared by my doc today to have plenty of sex. I'm thrilled and feel really lucky my surgery went well and I'm going to know what this aspect of life is again. I have pain after about 15 minutes and likely haven't fully broken in the pump, but every day seems better, less pain, a little bigger etc. From 30-36, this ED has really eaten up a huge amount of my energy and life. I dated various women and had relationships with a few throughout this period but ED increasingly became a destructive factor. I remember the day when I lost my last girlfriend at 34, and I know ED played a decisive role. I will turn 37 in a few months time. I haven't really had sex in two years and have had to pass on plenty of women that would've made fine girlfriends. My question is- now what?

The answer is obvious. Yet, I have never dated at a point where I felt self-conscious about my age. I have a functional, ever-hard dick, better than even my 18 year old dick now. I stand in the bathtub when cycling now and know, "I've never had a dick this hard, ever". So its exhilarating - a literal scientific miracle. That said, how do I approach this as a single man with confidence? I take care of my body, skin etc so I look fine. I looked better at 32, but my dick was the problem then. Anyone had a similar issue, no matter when you got the implant as a single guy and how did you go forward with steely confidence? I'll be fine here- I'll figure it out by doing . I just wondered if others had experienced something similar.

I am not sure I understand what you are asking. I was single and dated before and after my implant. Before implant ED was a big weight on me and I was worried things might actually get to a point of sex with a partner. It affected my whole life. And I did not enjoy dating. I had a change when I decided to have the surgery and the weight was lifted off of me. I had confidence again and was going to do what ever I needed to make it happen. After surgery and when I was cleared for sex I started dating again. I was confident and relaxed and enjoyed spending time with women. There was no pressure. I knew that if I hit it off with my date and things progressed that far that ED was not going to be a problem. I had removed ED from my life. There were some women I meet and went out with and we just did not click but no big deal that is just the way things go. It was not a competition to see if I could bed them all. It was just that I knew if it got to that point I could do my part. And I enjoyed my self even with the ones that did not get to the sex part and of course more so with the ones that did. For me I felt less than a whole man when I had ED. And even before the surgery I knew that I was going to get that back.

You are still a bit early in this and things will continue to improve. You just kicked ED out of your life and you have that back now. So it is no longer something to worry about. So start dating again if you want to. Just like in your pre ED days. Have fun and enjoy yourself both in and out of the bedroom.

[Smetro]

Probably a bit off topic, but I’ve found a suggestion that Merrix made in one of his fabulous posts on here very useful:
When it comes to the crunch and you are compelled to explain why you, at your mature age, now have a cock that never quits?

Several times now I have said to the beautiful woman lying beside me who has just been the recipient of a very successful fucking session that I required surgical intervention after an unfortunate snow skiing accident.

For the more intelligent and empathetic woman I have been known to throw in a term like “internal pudendal artery”……….

Look….. I know it’s a bit deceitful however I do ski and it hasn’t failed to elicit an empathetic response. Women are truly wonderful and caring creatures and it would seem quite clearly, the ones I have had sex with more than once really do enjoy the enhanced characteristics of my Titan….. so really? what’s the harm because the conversation quickly moves on and nobody really wants the details of the procedure anyway and so the pleasure that a Titan provides eventually becomes the main narrative.
Just sayin…….

[aslanglobal]

Yeah, you're absolutely right. TY

[


quote="newbie443"]

I was cleared by my doc today to have plenty of sex. I'm thrilled and feel really lucky my surgery went well and I'm going to know what this aspect of life is again. I have pain after about 15 minutes and likely haven't fully broken in the pump, but every day seems better, less pain, a little bigger etc. From 30-36, this ED has really eaten up a huge amount of my energy and life. I dated various women and had relationships with a few throughout this period but ED increasingly became a destructive factor. I remember the day when I lost my last girlfriend at 34, and I know ED played a decisive role. I will turn 37 in a few months time. I haven't really had sex in two years and have had to pass on plenty of women that would've made fine girlfriends. My question is- now what?

The answer is obvious. Yet, I have never dated at a point where I felt self-conscious about my age. I have a functional, ever-hard dick, better than even my 18 year old dick now. I stand in the bathtub when cycling now and know, "I've never had a dick this hard, ever". So its exhilarating - a literal scientific miracle. That said, how do I approach this as a single man with confidence? I take care of my body, skin etc so I look fine. I looked better at 32, but my dick was the problem then. Anyone had a similar issue, no matter when you got the implant as a single guy and how did you go forward with steely confidence? I'll be fine here- I'll figure it out by doing . I just wondered if others had experienced something similar.

I am not sure I understand what you are asking. I was single and dated before and after my implant. Before implant ED was a big weight on me and I was worried things might actually get to a point of sex with a partner. It affected my whole life. And I did not enjoy dating. I had a change when I decided to have the surgery and the weight was lifted off of me. I had confidence again and was going to do what ever I needed to make it happen. After surgery and when I was cleared for sex I started dating again. I was confident and relaxed and enjoyed spending time with women. There was no pressure. I knew that if I hit it off with my date and things progressed that far that ED was not going to be a problem. I had removed ED from my life. There were some women I meet and went out with and we just did not click but no big deal that is just the way things go. It was not a competition to see if I could bed them all. It was just that I knew if it got to that point I could do my part. And I enjoyed my self even with the ones that did not get to the sex part and of course more so with the ones that did. For me I felt less than a whole man when I had ED. And even before the surgery I knew that I was going to get that back.

You are still a bit early in this and things will continue to improve. You just kicked ED out of your life and you have that back now. So it is no longer something to worry about. So start dating again if you want to. Just like in your pre ED days. Have fun and enjoy yourself both in and out of the bedroom.[/quote]

[aslanglobal]

beautifully said, per usual. Thank you.


quote="Lost Sheep"]

(edited for brevity and focus) Anyone had a similar issue, no matter when you got the implant as a single guy and how did you go forward with steely confidence? I'll be fine here- I'll figure it out by doing . I just wondered if others had experienced something similar.

So happy for you, aslanglobal.

"Steely", eh? Sounds like a nickname for your reconstituted appendage.

One caution: Do not let over-confidence (often perceived by others as arrogance) make you LOOK less attractive than you really are.

Women are incredibly supportive if they feel desired, trusted, respected and safe. They respect a man who does not hide from difficulties. I went on a dating site and was honest about my inability to have sex and that I was intending to have an implant to fix that problem. My honesty and candor was commented on several times as "brave" and "refreshing".

I understand that for a young man (and 30-40 is still young-"ish") to admit to (having had) a sexual dysfunction might make him fear loss of reputation among his circle of friends. That is a risk. There is also the chance that having a penis that has no refractory period (by whatever means) might enhance his reputation - particularly among potential sex partners. Besides, women in your age range are likely to have had some experience and will enjoy a man such as yourself.

There is a very old joke about a man who will not admit to being lost and refuses to ask for directions. You are a man who was lost, but now knows where (and who) he is. You will soon regain knowledge of how to get there (between a woman's thighs) and what do to there.

Some men choose to (try to) keep secret the fact they are implanted. Others are up front about it. See this thread

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=12167&p=105570

Up to you. But my advice is generally to be up front and humble, with unalloyed confidence. Self-assured humility is attractive to women of quality (in my opinion).[/quote]

[aslanglobal]

Love this one. Thank you

Ready for an old guy to rain on your parade? Lol, not really, but I have an alternate view of reality.

You’re past 35. Nothing wrong with that. That’s still young. Still, you’re looking for a different sort of woman than you might have at 17 or 23.

Sex is fun, good, and that’s what you got the implant for. I would try to find women for a relationship first and then let sex follow, rather than jump into bed indiscriminately and hope a relationship eventually materializes.

You know yourself better than anyone else. Figure out what you’re really looking for in a woman, then put yourself in situations where you meet the kind of woman you are after. In my case, the type of woman I wanted to spend my life with were not to be found in dance halls, beer joints, honky tonks, or cocktail lounges. If you’re looking for compatible, consider volunteer work, church activities, political campaigns, local community type stuff. Use your network of friends. No doubt your buddies have wives who would live to play matchmaker. Arranged introductions via mutual friends is terribly underrated.

I know a lot more guys who have good sex due to a good marriage than I do guys who have a good marriage due to good sex. The old “it’s great that she swallows but can she cook?” syndrome.

You have the tools now to sexually satisfy any woman you want. It is important, though, for long term success that you want each other. I have found that, if all else fails, that it is best just to be who you really are and let the chips fall where they may. Long lasting relationships stem from situations where both parties really know each other, not when they fall in love with a facade.

Let things develop. You don’t have to apply a lot of pressure. Overanxious people can be scary. Love yourself without narcissism, treat others with friendship and kindness, and for God’s sake ask questions. People love to talk about themselves.

It all starts with deciding what you really want, though. Until then you’re spinning your wheels.

[Xomanow]

aslanglobal,

How long was it before your doctor cleared you for sex?

Thanks!

As soon as the final bill was paid........