How much to tell wife about implant

[MyFrankTalkAccount]

Hey Considering89,

I think what you wrote in your original post sounds perfectly fine:

"there is a surgery that can correct the Peyronie's permanently, while also giving me incredible erections and curing the ED permanently. This condition is really affecting me mentally and I want to fix it and move on. I'll be a better husband and lover, plus you'll have the best sex of your life. What questions do you have, and do you support me going for this?"

I personally would omit "plus you'll have the best sex of your life."

I would also, as much as possible,
try to avoid using clinical/medical sounding terminology (e.g. "prosthesis", "implant," etc.), at least initially.

It might be useful to come prepared with examples of other guys/couples in your age range who have undergone the procedure, and are pleased with the result.

(I'm short on time at the moment, but later I'll try to collect and post some of the accounts that I think might be helpful
of younger guys who've have been implanted and lead fulfilling, happy, *normal* lives.)

I'm a few years younger than you, and struggling with of Peyronie's and ED. I'm also considering an implant.

Feel free to DM me if you ever want to commiserate or share notes.

[MyFrankTalkAccount]

I think it's important to add/emphasize that I have zero intention of lying about the implant whatsoever. I am a man with a heavy conscience. What I'm wrestling through is how to explain the procedure, not whether to.

I want to be truthful with her that I'm going to have a procedure -- it's the explanation of the procedure that I want counsel on.

Is telling her something like the following acceptable? Would you make any revisions/edits?

"I have Peyronie's. Peyronie's is a progressive disease that most likely will cause further ED, scarring, length loss and curvature. I feel like my manhood has been taken away; I don't feel confident; I don't feel like myself; this is constantly on my mind and I want to fix it and move on. I'd like to have a surgery that will fix the Peyronie's and my erectile dysfunction, and in fact will give me the ability to have even better erections than ever before. I feel like this surgery will restore my feeling of manhood, lift this cloud of depression, and restore my happiness and confidence. How do you feel about that? What questions do you have?"

This also sounds good to me!

[abhishek26]

I think it's important to add/emphasize that I have zero intention of lying about the implant whatsoever. I am a man with a heavy conscience. What I'm wrestling through is how to explain the procedure, not whether to.

I want to be truthful with her that I'm going to have a procedure -- it's the explanation of the procedure that I want counsel on.

Is telling her something like the following acceptable? Would you make any revisions/edits?

"I have Peyronie's. Peyronie's is a progressive disease that most likely will cause further ED, scarring, length loss and curvature. I feel like my manhood has been taken away; I don't feel confident; I don't feel like myself; this is constantly on my mind and I want to fix it and move on. I'd like to have a surgery that will fix the Peyronie's and my erectile dysfunction, and in fact will give me the ability to have even better erections than ever before. I feel like this surgery will restore my feeling of manhood, lift this cloud of depression, and restore my happiness and confidence. How do you feel about that? What questions do you have?"

bro I'm more than confident you wife/fiance will 100% accept whatever you wish to convey regarding your thoughts about the implant and how it will improve your mental/physical health as well as your relationship. the fact that she is this loyal to you already shows that you don't have much to lose. just come together and embrace the right decision.

[newbie443]

I think it's important to add/emphasize that I have zero intention of lying about the implant whatsoever. I am a man with a heavy conscience. What I'm wrestling through is how to explain the procedure, not whether to.

I want to be truthful with her that I'm going to have a procedure -- it's the explanation of the procedure that I want counsel on.

Is telling her something like the following acceptable? Would you make any revisions/edits?

"I have Peyronie's. Peyronie's is a progressive disease that most likely will cause further ED, scarring, length loss and curvature. I feel like my manhood has been taken away; I don't feel confident; I don't feel like myself; this is constantly on my mind and I want to fix it and move on. I'd like to have a surgery that will fix the Peyronie's and my erectile dysfunction, and in fact will give me the ability to have even better erections than ever before. I feel like this surgery will restore my feeling of manhood, lift this cloud of depression, and restore my happiness and confidence. How do you feel about that? What questions do you have?"

+1 on this sounding good. But really anything to start the conversation is good. And congratulations on your upcoming marriage.

[Comebackkid]

Sounds perfect to me as well. I think she will need time to process it and you should be prepared to answer any questions she has. Personally, I would not want to tell all details up front, but starting a marriage off hiding things, leads to more problems down the road.

[oldbeek]

What is your financial situation? If you will be paying cash every 10 years, she may not want to enter that debt. Kind of like marrying a girl that already has 50k in credit card debt. These things need to be discussed. You may also show her the videos on here of 72 implant activations. If she handles that show her the installation videos. Is she going to help you after surgery?

[confused95]

Yeah bro, read my thread about the 72 implant activation videos.. and show some to her

[SW0110]

I to do not feel it is a last resort either. I would explain it to her along with Peyronies and the potential issues.

Injections I never considered as I had peyronies and did need any more trauma to my dick. The titan fixed my peyronies day 1. My wife and I just had to figure out sex with the implant. She can definitely feel the pump and tubing when doing oral. She is not much on playing around with her mouth on my balls anymore. They are always jockeying for space in the sac with the pump and her sucking on that pump does nothing for either of us.

While she does a good job of throating me if she goes all the way down she can feel the tubing at the base. So she just mostly stays on the top half.

The other issues is how hard to pump up. For oral I do not generally need to pump up much as I still get engorged enough with a few pumps. Initially I pumped up a lot. We found oral just worked out better not pumped fully. She likes that since she feels it is her actions causing it.

Then sex. More discussions. Pumped up fully reverse cowgirl is out for us. I cannot bend it that far down. So we ended up finding a pump percent that allows good penetration and flexibility. But again more discussions and a lot of trial and error.

Over 2.5 years, a revision due to a punctured reservoir after hernia surgery we are pretty set and doing well. As for discussions with a partner. Once she knew my ed was not her fault she was invested. If she is important to you. I would make her your partner in this. It can be fun.

As you know from other posts. Sex with an implant can last 20 minutes or hours. At your age, I remember having sex off and on for whole weekends. Thanks to my implant we are back to that if we want to.

Best wishes.

[Gt1956]

What is your financial situation? If you will be paying cash every 10 years, she may not want to enter that debt. Kind of like marrying a girl that already has 50k in credit card debt. These things need to be discussed. You may also show her the videos on here of 72 implant activations. If she handles that show her the installation videos. Is she going to help you after surgery?

I agree that the money aspect can be daunting to some people. If she seems put off by the money thing. Point out to her that frequently insurance can pay part or perhaps even all of the cost.
You should know her by now. Whatever you think might be points of concern to her. Think up a reply to it in advance & practice saying it in a calm reasonable voice without sounding like you're lecturing her. Likely, she'll understand good calm replies. Good luck.

[gjmjoe017]

You can’t hide an Implant!Tell her the truth,if she loves you it won’t matter!That simple to me!