Sex / Intimacy Aversion Pre-Implant (Help pls!)

[tobenormalagain]

I'm in this exact boat. 55yo male, fit, (not overweight), no hypertension, no diabetes, normal T, normal thyroid. Worsening ED since late 20s and have spent countless hours worrying, fretting, being anxious, and trying to figure out why, why, why? Yes, I totally get it-the loss of self esteem, demasculinization, depression that accompanies ED, and the disappointment with all the known treatments. All of the useless platitudes, "if she really loves you...", "sex isn't everything", "penetration isn't the only form of sex" mean absolutely NOTHING, ZERO, NIL, when you're still a relatively young man and your dick doesn't work at all. Not to be too graphic, but my ED has progressed to the point that if a breathtakingly gorgeous woman with an outstanding body wanted more from me that a kiss, I couldn't produce anything other than a completely limp member. To me (and most men), that is absolutely devastating and messes with your mind. I have an appointment in 2 months to discuss implants and though I'm not expecting to be a porn star stud, I'm not dead yet and would like a crumb of a normal sexual life again.

[abhishek26]

I'm in this exact boat. 55yo male, fit, (not overweight), no hypertension, no diabetes, normal T, normal thyroid. Worsening ED since late 20s and have spent countless hours worrying, fretting, being anxious, and trying to figure out why, why, why? Yes, I totally get it-the loss of self esteem, demasculinization, depression that accompanies ED, and the disappointment with all the known treatments. All of the useless platitudes, "if she really loves you...", "sex isn't everything", "penetration isn't the only form of sex" mean absolutely NOTHING, ZERO, NIL, when you're still a relatively young man and your dick doesn't work at all. Not to be too graphic, but my ED has progressed to the point that if a breathtakingly gorgeous woman with an outstanding body wanted more from me that a kiss, I couldn't produce anything more than a completely limp member. To me (and most men), that is absolutely devastating and messes with your mind. I have an appointment in 2 months and though I'm not expecting to be a porn star stud, I'm not dead yet and would like a crumb of a normal sexual life again.

Amen to that brother! Actually, look at my fucking age lol!

[Lost Sheep]

I'm in this exact boat. 55yo male, fit, (not overweight), no hypertension, no diabetes, normal T, normal thyroid. Worsening ED since late 20s and have spent countless hours worrying, fretting, being anxious, and trying to figure out why, why, why? Yes, I totally get it-the loss of self esteem, demasculinization, depression that accompanies ED, and the disappointment with all the known treatments. All of the useless platitudes, "if she really loves you...", "sex isn't everything", "penetration isn't the only form of sex" mean absolutely NOTHING, ZERO, NIL, when you're still a relatively young man and your dick doesn't work at all. Not to be too graphic, but my ED has progressed to the point that if a breathtakingly gorgeous woman with an outstanding body wanted more from me that a kiss, I couldn't produce anything other than a completely limp member. To me (and most men), that is absolutely devastating and messes with your mind. I have an appointment in 2 months to discuss implants and though I'm not expecting to be a porn star stud, I'm not dead yet and would like a crumb of a normal sexual life again.

As one of those testifying to the truths which you find unpersuasive, I accept that your experience has been opposite of mine. I do recognize that even the best attitude toward my own E.D./impotence could not reverse 100% of my feelings of worthlessness and diminishment of my self-esteem and confidence (not even close). But you do not have to let it crush all the joy in life or even the joy of relationships - or sex. For example, can you orgasm through fellatio?

OK, stepping down from my pulpit, let me contribute somethings you might find actually useful (and acceptable) advice and support.

Congratulations on taking action and getting an appointment (embarrassment prevented me from asking for medical help for far too long). Ask if anyone has a cancellation you might be able to slip into to get your treatment accelerated.

I found oral medications to be effective for several years. I don't know if you have experience with them. I skipped past suppositories and injections with the consent of my primary care physician based on my extensive research and testifying to my clinical symptoms. Having his confidence in my judgement, I believe, was critical to getting approval for the implant surgery. So, I advise you to make yourselve an integral part of your health care team. (I do not fault patients who prefer to just leave decisions to the professionals, but that is not my style, so I recommend involvement.) I am a participatory patient.

Are you using a Vacuum Erection Device to maintain your penile tissue elasticity and flush blood through those tissues? I higly recommend it (as do many urologists). There are a couple of protocols discussed in FrankTalk. They do not involve using the constriction rings (those are just used for sex, which I found to be both problematic and unsatisfying).

I will digress a bit (back to my earlier attitude) and relate that I went on a dating site and advertised that I was functionally impotent and seeking a woman willing to be my "lab partner" in my journey from impotence to potency. Putting it explicitly, the essentials were that she would 1) have sex with such a man, 2) accompany him through the surgery and 3) continue having sex with him after implant. I got several applicants, some positive kudos (mostly for my courage and candor) and no condemnations. You can draw you own conclusions about how necessary women find an erection in a sexual relationship.

I wish you a good outcome.

[tobenormalagain]

Thank you Lost Sheep. I appreciate the information and helpful suggestions. Unfortunately, Cialis, Viagra....do absolutely nothing, zero, nada, for me even when I triple or quadruple the recommended dosage. I abandoned Trimix after I began developing Peyronies so there really isn't much left out there for me. Now, my unit is almost completely flacid and the only way of ever orgasming is by viewing porn and masturbating. It's pretty pathetic and I am beyond embarrassed and depressed. I do have an appointment as I alluded to but unfortunately, I am bracing to pay the $17,000 all out of pocket-ouch!

[Time2Change]

Yes, my ED caused a ton of damage to me and my relationships.

My ED absolutely led me to avoid intimacy. And it led my wife to avoid being intimate with me.

It wreaked havoc with my confidence in many areas of my life.

And yes, my implant has brought about a change in me. I'm beginning to regain my confidence. I regularly initiate sex with my wife now. And I'm generally happier in all areas of my life.

[Lost Sheep]

Thank you Lost Sheep. I appreciate the information and helpful suggestions. Unfortunately, Cialis, Viagra....do absolutely nothing, zero, nada, for me even when I triple or quadruple the recommended dosage. I abandoned Trimix after I began developing Peyronies so there really isn't much left out there for me. Now, my unit is almost completely flacid and the onlyway of ever orgasming is by viewing porn and masturbating. It's pretty pathetic and I am beyond embarrassed and depressed. I do have an appointment as I alluded to but unfortunately, I am bracing to pay the $17,000 all out of pocket-ouch!

You're welcome, tobenormalagain,

I suggest you investigate financing arrangements with the manufacturer (call the Patient Liaison to find out how) or payment plans with the surgeon/hospital/surgery center. As you get closer to a surgery date you can start making inquiries.

I reiterate that a VED can help maintain size.

I wonder (if it is not too personal) if when you masturbate, does any engorgement or rigidity take place? Come and go? Can your penis stand up at all while being stimulated? Have you tried the so-called "artificial vaginas" available in sex shops? Has any woman ever performed fellatio recently? (I found, late in the development of my ED that fellatio would still produce sizable engorgement and a moderate amount of rigidity - at least enough to entertain my partner.)

[LuisFernandez]

Thank you Lost Sheep. I appreciate the information and helpful suggestions. Unfortunately, Cialis, Viagra....do absolutely nothing, zero, nada, for me even when I triple or quadruple the recommended dosage. I abandoned Trimix after I began developing Peyronies so there really isn't much left out there for me. Now, my unit is almost completely flacid and the onlyway of ever orgasming is by viewing porn and masturbating. It's pretty pathetic and I am beyond embarrassed and depressed. I do have an appointment as I alluded to but unfortunately, I am bracing to pay the $17,000 all out of pocket-ouch!

i don’t think you should give up on injections. i have peyronies and inject multiple times a week. the trick is to constantly do traction therapy. that is the way to treat and prevent progression of peyronies.

also try injecting just pge1 as that doesn’t contain the acidic ingeredients that tend to cause scarring

[ScrewedbyDoctors]

2 years ago got a trauma due to Trimix injections, now my penis shorter, thinner, unstable and my erections are weak. I'm depressed and I think about it all the time, I thought about having an implant, but I can't do it because is risky and expensive. I think I will focus on other things than sex.