Sex

The final frontier. Deciding when, if and how.
Confusedjourney
Posts: 202
Joined: Sun Oct 10, 2021 10:09 am

Re: Sex

Postby Confusedjourney » Sat Dec 11, 2021 2:04 am

I dig what u guys are saying. Allow the excitement to override the pain. Thx

Lost Sheep
Posts: 6162
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: Sex

Postby Lost Sheep » Mon Dec 13, 2021 3:32 pm

Confusedjourney wrote:So I’m planning on having sex with my wife next Saturday (long story why next Saturday) and she said she doesn’t want to be involved in what I’m doing in terms of pumping. Since my pain threshold is around a half hour, what’s the best way of doing this? Do I just start pumped up so I don’t have to think about this or do I take a pause and just pump while lying down. Should I take an oxy to help me deal with the pan? I’m only around 4 weeks into this btw.

There are a lot of logistical factors in play (among the answers given so far, many are involved, but not mentioned explicitely).

So, I will try.

The sequence of events leading up to coitus is important. Do you do cunnilingus, massage (her back, feet or legs, etc), masturbation (on her) or other actvities that would give you the opportunity to pump up stealthily nearer to her paying attention to your penis or nearer to the time of penetration?

Can you tolerate being pumped up partially for a longer time (to reduce the time it takes for you to pump up fully)?
What degree of inflation is comfortable for you to maintain for an extended period of time (the length of time foreplay lasts)? How many minutes does it take you to pump up from that degree to the degree you prefer for coitus?

Is the time of transition from foreplay to penetration long enough for you to pump up from the "comfortable" degree to the "penetrative" degree without chilling her mood?

Do you pump up with both hands involved or left or right and how would that handedness relate to how yo ulay with your wife?

How much time in foreplay do you spend? If your wife is OK with you just coming into the bedroom fully pumped and the two of you just go right at it, that is one thing, but if she wants to dance, talk, engage in extended kissing, hugging, other foreplay, that is another.

I know asking you to describe your lovemaking sessions in detail here may be intrusive, but choregraphy of pumping up while simultaneously not losing your wife's concentration can be complex. You don't have to share your sequence of events with us, but we might have some tactics you could use. Our suggestions would be more targeted the more we know about your tecniques.

Getting her on board with the process, if you can, as suggested by brickbat would be more fun. It would replace your wife's ideal fantasy or spontaneous erection validating her desirability with the alternative - the reality of her participating more fully in YOUR sexuality. for example, I pumped up once with my (flaccid) penis in m girlfriend's mouth until I was fully erect and filled her until her jaws spread (she actually cannot quite accomodate my fully-pumped up penis). I can't say she enjoyed it sexually, but she enjoyed shariing the experience (we were not together before my implant and had never felt my penis growing in size by itself inside her mouth before). It might not have been sexually arousing for her but it was intimate and connected us in one more way.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017
Prostate Cancer 2023
READ OLD THREADS-ask better questions -better understand answers
Be part of your medical team
Document pre-op size-photos and written records
Pre-op VED therapy helps. Post-op is another matter

Confusedjourney
Posts: 202
Joined: Sun Oct 10, 2021 10:09 am

Re: Sex

Postby Confusedjourney » Mon Dec 13, 2021 10:03 pm

Interesting stuff.....she likes a lot of foreplay b4 sex....since she told me that she doesn’t want to be involved in a while discussion about pumping, I’m thinking foreplay, massage, then I just pump up while lying down and just stick it in her mouth and start from there. Due to pain I t don’t think I’ll pump up fully yet. I think 80 pct is more than enough for sex and less painful for me. Also I think I will take a percaset for the pain.

Old Guy
Posts: 2703
Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:31 pm
Location: Ohio

Re: Sex

Postby Old Guy » Tue Dec 14, 2021 8:38 am

Confusedjourney wrote:Interesting stuff.....she likes a lot of foreplay b4 sex....since she told me that she doesn’t want to be involved in a while discussion about pumping, I’m thinking foreplay, massage, then I just pump up while lying down and just stick it in her mouth and start from there. Due to pain I t don’t think I’ll pump up fully yet. I think 80 pct is more than enough for sex and less painful for me. Also I think I will take a percaset for the pain.


Sounds like my wife, lots of foreplay before. I normally get her off once (or twice) with foreplay. She uses her vibrator while I finger her. Sometimes I will pump up before we start, sometimes after she has orgasmed and wet. The hassle with pumping up after playing is my fingers are wet/sticky so the bulb slips out of my fingers. Ouch.
After being implanted the soreness kept me from doing anything for weeks. After doc cleared me to take baths I sat in a tub of hot water, inflated and masturbated. That was ok, the hot water took away a lot of soreness. The first time I had sex with the wife was great, inside her eased the pain. Afterwards I ended up in a hot bath again to ease the soreness. The next few times just kept getting better and better, with less soreness.
Now at 2 years post there is no pain or soreness. My wife has only felt my pump once because I made her. She doesn't care how or why it works, but happy it does. I asked her not long ago (after we just finished) if she could live the rest of her life without me having the implant. Her immediate "No" was all I needed to hear. :D
Hang in there, it will get better.
Nov. 8, 2019
4+ years, Coloplast Titan OTR
Married 36 years to my beautiful young bride
Always here to answer questions if you PM me

Confusedjourney
Posts: 202
Joined: Sun Oct 10, 2021 10:09 am

Re: Sex

Postby Confusedjourney » Tue Dec 14, 2021 10:42 am

Nice thx!


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