*UPDATE - Situation Worsening* Do I go for the implant now, or give it another year?

[considering89]

I recognize that ultimately only I can make the "Implant Decision." But I consider this forum a great resource to get outside wisdom and courage.

I'd like implanted men to read my situation and tell me what they would do in my position. Here are my questions for discussion:

1) Is it "too soon" for me to be thinking about an implant?
3) Even if it is a bit early and I get an implant, won't the results be so good that I won't regret it and it will still be a fine decision?

I'm 32, engaged to be married in March, with twins to be born in June, and have ED. It's been severe since this relationship started 10 months ago, although in hindsight I first saw signs of ED in 2018 but was single in 2019-2020. By "severe", I can't have sex without pills. I take daily 5mg Cialis. It "works" in the fact that with it, I get nighttime erections and can usually have sex (I struggle to get hard by masturbating, however). But the erections aren't usually 100%, my refractory period is looong, and to top it all off, I've recently had bad PE (< 1 min). I've used Viagra with some success, but Viagra is not satisfactory because I need spontaneity. Essentially, the only treatment options I'll consider are daily Cialis or an implant.

I took a doppler in July and have no venous leak. I have pelvic floor tightness which is causing daily pain in the tip of my penis. One uro told me I have hard flaccid. I've been doing pelvic floor physical therapy for 3 months but not seeing improvement in erections. While a clear physical cause hasn't been found, this is not psychological ED. I can't get hard by masturbating alone. Something is going on (could be pelvic floor hypertonicity, could be Porn Induced ED, etc.), but I no longer care much what the cause is - I just want this fucking fixed.

I want a permanent solution to my ED. Most of all, I want a solution to my depression from ED. There's never a moment that I'm not thinking about ED. I'm severely depressed and often feel nearly non-functional from the depression and anxiety. Please understand that before ED, I was a happy, strong, confident person. My depression is entirely caused by my ED.

If my erections don't improve, I will be getting an implant. That I've already decided. My question for discussion is WHEN to get an implant.

I've framed up two possible strategies in my head:

1) Damn the torpedoes and get the implant ASAP.
- Why: I'm suffering depression profoundly and reaching mental rock bottom. It's affecting everything in my life. So fuck it - let's fix this now and put a bullet in the depression horror show of ED.
- Consideration: Maybe I would have regrets that I got the implant too "early" in ED and wonder if I could've gotten better on my own.

2) Hold off until February 2023, and if my erections aren't better, get the implant then.
- Why: That will be a full 2 years of experiencing the severe ED. If I'm not better at that time, I know I'll feel at peace that I've allowed enough time for things to improve, and will know I didn't rush an implant.
- Consideration: It's hard to imagine going through another full year of ED and the depression/no self-esteem/etc. I'm in a unique situation of getting married soon with children on the way. I need to get back to being "myself" (happy, confident, free, at peace) for the good of my family.

Honestly, I want the implant now. I want my ED gone forever, but most of all I want the depression associated with it gone. The hesitation I feel currently is - Will I look back and regret doing it so "quickly", or will the implant be such a great change in my life, sex life and mental state that even if it WAS a bit early, I won't regret it?

I know that only I can answer these questions, but guys - what would YOU do if you were in my shoes?

[ventura]

If the depression is going to possibly ruin your marriage beyond repair then go get a inplant. If your new wife is understanding and you are going to be incredibly busy with the children then wait. The last thing you want to do is destroy your marriage and your new family. Believe me 13 months will go fast, if you can hold on and not go crazy then wait. Technology is rapid, my Doc just told me your phone, blue tooth will activate your penis in 5 years. I just took the plunge, inplanted 15 days ago, but waited 9 years until I had a understanding girlfriend who is now my wife. All the best

[crazyjoe]

I agree with most of Ventura's points and considerations, but as I am hearing expressed more and more, implants don't have to be such a last resort. I don't take it so far as "if depression is going to ruin your marriage beyond repair". I would consider if an implant is going to make you a happier person, husband and father? If so, I would be in the "do it now" camp.

Looking back, I wish I would have known the downsides of injections for me and done an implant sooner. Waiting is not going to make your underlying ED better -- at least that's what I've read from hundreds of posts on FT.

Anyway, I'm sure others will have differing opinions so just take mine as one of many to consider "if I was in your shoes" as you invited us to do.

[CuriosDK]

I'm a similar age but currently single. Dating with this issue makes things complicated to say the least, and I'm also in two minds between taking the plunge now and reclaiming my life, or waiting to explore other avenues. What's helped put me at ease is making a list of all the alternative options before I go down the implant route. This gives me a sense of proactivity in that I'm working towards finding a solution, and also peace of mind; there's no pressure on any one thing working, and if I do end up with an implant, I know I would have tried everything else.

[Fran4524]

Why you dont increase the dose of tadalafilo? Maybe 10 dayli or 20 day yes and day no.

[tomas1]

Some of us have used injections for years with no ill effects.
I know others have had problems, but if side effects appear, you could stop them.

[considering89]

To Fran - I have used 10mg/day. I didn’t see a difference from the 5. I also don’t want to rely long term on using more than the daily pharmaceutical max of 5.

Tomas - Respectfully, I’m simply unwilling to use injections. It’s not just the risks but also the lack of spontaneity and I hate needles.

Ultimately, if the daily cialis doesn’t work, I’ll be getting an implant. I place a MASSIVE value on spontaneity and the mental feeling of walking around knowing I’m potent at that moment. So I’m looking for input on when to get the implant, assuming my ED just doesn’t get better.

[defiant]

God, you sound almost exactly like me except I’m not currently with someone nor do I have kids on the way. This is a decision I’ve been wrestling with just as much as you and it impacts me hugely also. I don’t feel confident, I have very little self esteem, the works. It’s dreadful. And I’m running out of time - as it were - to find someone. That’s how I feel anyway.

First off I’d say consider yourself lucky that you have all of that - a partner and kids coming. That’s amazing. You’re blessed. But beyond that, the only reason I’m holding off is because there are flashes of good function and in my last relationship, I was able to wean off the cialis because of repitition and a feeling of safety. However, I was still feeling a bit limited in how adventurous I could be with no pills in me but still.

Well now I’m as a worse as I’ve ever been so it’s really been on my radar to consider the implant for pretty much all the reasons you’ve stated.

From what you describe, I think you don’t need to do it per se and should probably wait it out but sex is going to become harder between you and your woman soon because of the pregnancy and then kids. So it may mess with you mentally. But you have a decent baseline ability and the pills work for sex.

It’s ultimately up to you as you say. If you think this will drive you insane and you just need that ‘sure thing’, then well, it’s an option

[strongagain]

I did injections for a short while, then my penis started bending to the let and hourglass dents developed. My urologist said "Why did you do injections, didn‘t you know that they can be very dangerous?"

Injections are the worst thing you can do? Or do you believe it‘s a good thing to stick a needle into such delicate organ?

Stop waisting time, get an implant now. One thing I deeply regret: that I didn‘t get the implant years earlier. What a waste of precious years.

[FreddyFree]

If you can’t get an erection, get an implant.

For me, I should have got my implant 47 years ago. ED with pills and injections was a waste of time for me.