Another mid-30’s implant journal

[Fourtytwo00]

You're quite good at writing. I hope you'll keep writing during the ups and downs of first months because there is a value in what you are doing. You can put your physical as well as psychological challenges in short and pleasant to read posts. I hope the best for you bro.

[SearchingUSA]

Thanks fourtytwo, will do! Yeah, so those ups and downs…

Day 3 - Travel Day
Best sleep so far, 6 consecutive hours without needing to take pain meds or shuffle around the rental to relieve pressure. My shaft somehow became significantly more swollen and throbbing (non-erotically) overnight, and my anxious mind wondered if this seeming setback was a bad sign. My text with a couple pictures to Dr. Clavell was quickly answered, “completely normal *thumbs-up*”
Phew.

Ok, so how to travel discreetly with a 60% pumped implant? I was planning to tuck it into my waistband, but it’s sticking straight out at a 90 degree angle, and any kind of bending on my shaft in its current swollen and bruised state was excruciating. So, I simply hooked my arm in front of my body and jauntily hung my spring coat over my arm, hoping that the various swinging folds would disguise the tent pole I was making in my track pants.

I think it worked pretty well. Of course, I had to put my coat in the bin going through TSA and stand in line for the metal detector with my 90 degree track pants tent pole sticking straight out. And then the metal detector went off for a random screening as I went through, so I had to walk back past the line of people waiting for the scanner, tent pole on full display, and go through the full body scanner, hands above my heads, to make my incorrigible erection as unmistakable as possible.

I don’t know how many people per year Dr. Clavell sends through IAH security at full mast, but god bless those TSA agents they didn’t bat an eye.
-“Anything in your pockets?”
*disinterested zwooping of a hand scanner down my outer leg*
-“Nope, this is just a medical device”
-“Alright, go ahead”

With the combination of meds, I was actually mostly comfortable on the flight and subsequent drive home, and the rest of the trip was uneventful.

I really can’t emphasize enough what a load off my mind it was to have Dr. Clavell look at a couple pictures and confirm that the increased swelling wasn’t anything to be concerned about. I think we all have a tendency to worry about worst-case scenarios over such a sensitive part of our anatomy, and I’m grateful that technology and bedside manner allows Dr. Clavell to instantly resolve concerns so that I could focus on the demands of travel, not spiral into grim ‘what if’ possibilities.

[cbinspok]

Brovo Searching
Your head heart and handle are all in sync! Quite a feat for a thirty something!! Now just give it time. Your experience has sealed the deal for me if I ever need a revision I too will fly in to Dr Clavell office.
Cheers comrade
Cb

[SearchingUSA]

Thanks, Cb!

Day 4 & 5
After this post, I think my updates are going to become shorter and less frequent, it feels like I’m headed into the long stretch of recovery where my body is back on a steady eat/sleep routine with less ups & downs and just steady improvement (god willing).

Notable changes:
- Less swelling in the scrotum, I can actually visually distinguish 3 separate objects down there, it’s not just a lumpy purple fruit
- Less swelling in the shaft, one side looks actually normal, aside from discoloration
- Dry, flaky skin all over the shaft, like after a sunburn heals. Not painful or raw in any way, but I guess that swelling must have caused the top layer of skin stretch beyond its capabilities

Of the two antibiotics I’ve been taking, I finished one course today and will finish the other tomorrow. I’ve been eating yogurt (almond milk base with live cultures to avoid lactose intolerance issues) with any pills not taken at mealtimes, and I feel like that may have helped my gut microbiome not get completely wiped out by the antibiotics, as I’ve had very little nausea, decent appetite, and regular bowel movements.

It’s a pretty straightforward routine at this point:
- Try to eat plenty of food
- Take pain meds more or less on schedule. I’m trying to stretch out the time between doses so that I’m not placing unnecessary stress on my system, but if I stretch the dosing too far the pain can sneak up on me. I’m generally at a pain level of 1-3 out of 10.
- Get up and move around regularly, don’t stay sitting or laying down in any one position for too long

I actually managed to spend time with family today and yesterday, penis tucked into my compression underwear band when standing, awkward hunching and strategic arm hanging when sitting. Definitely less physically comfortable than being home alone with it all hanging out, so I kept my visits short. Good to know that I don’t have to be a complete hermit for these coming weeks/months. Speaking of which…

Other than my FT comrades, the only person I’ve told about the surgery is a particularly tight-lipped sibling, with instructions that the information is purely for safekeeping and explanation. Say, in case I were to become incapacitated and the prosthesis became medically relevant, I wouldn’t want the backstory to be an unsolved mystery to my family.

I’m not ashamed of my ED or the surgery, and I’m fact I’m proud to have fought this battle from every angle and to have taken this ultimate step. But I remember my initial reaction to hearing of prostheses, before I knew that they can provide a better sex life than even a fully-functioning ‘natural’ penis, was “oh how sad to have to go to such measures to maintain some semblance of a sex life.” And I very much do not want anyone feeling sorry for me, so I’d rather wait to share the news until I can say from personal experience, “I want to tell you about this surgery I had, and how uncompromisingly great it makes my life!”

Meanwhile, no one even knows that I had surgery. I could give the hernia excuse, but I had debilitating back issues in my 20’s (resolved with a rigorous focus on strength training) and don’t want anyone worrying that my body is breaking down again in a new way. So I’m explaining my hobbled state as a training accident where I slipped doing weighted lunges and pulled muscles in my groin, hip, hamstring and glutes. Garners temporary sympathy and understanding, but no long term concern.

Onwards and upwards!

[SearchingUSA]

Day 8
Swelling on my shaft and scrotum appears to be gone at this point, though it’s tough to say for certain with my skin being so discolored from the bruising. Each day I’m a little more healed and a little more confident about handling my junk when showering and peeing, I no longer worry that touching the wrong chunk of flesh or plastic down there will cause a setback.

I did have a brief bit of panic today when I realized that my pump is stuck to my scrotum. You know, a bit of “oh my god, what if they fuse together,” “will I have to get a surgery to separate my scrotum from the pump,” “if they got stuck on this surgery, won’t they get stuck on the next one, too?”

But FrankTalk to the rescue, it turns out this is common, and the pump unsticks from the scrotum over time: viewtopic.php?t=15435

And of course it does. The pump is plastic and tissue doesn’t like being attached to plastic, it’s the same reason why your shaft creates a surgical capsule around the tubes instead of adhering to them.

It’s all just another reminder to take things slow and read what others have said on the topic before letting your mind run wild.

[personfromon]

Day 8
Swelling on my shaft and scrotum appears to be gone at this point, though it’s tough to say for certain with my skin being so discolored from the bruising. Each day I’m a little more healed and a little more confident about handling my junk when showering and peeing, I no longer worry that touching the wrong chunk of flesh or plastic down there will cause a setback.

I did have a brief bit of panic today when I realized that my pump is stuck to my scrotum. You know, a bit of “oh my god, what if they fuse together,” “will I have to get a surgery to separate my scrotum from the pump,” “if they got stuck on this surgery, won’t they get stuck on the next one, too?”

But FrankTalk to the rescue, it turns out this is common, and the pump unsticks from the scrotum over time: viewtopic.php?t=15435

And of course it does. The pump is plastic and tissue doesn’t like being attached to plastic, it’s the same reason why your shaft creates a surgical capsule around the tubes instead of adhering to them.

It’s all just another reminder to take things slow and read what others have said on the topic before letting your mind run wild.

Awesome to hear you're recovery is moving along well SearchingUSA. Keep it up.

[TheCanalGuy]

Hey @SearchingUSA, how are your doing, 9 days since your last report, I am getting concerned. Are you doing fine?

[SearchingUSA]

@TheCanalGuy, thank you for your concern! Doing just fine here, I haven't updated because the day-to-day changes are fairly insignificant at this point, but I think you've given me a good prompt to summarize where I'm at now.

2.5 Weeks Post Surgery
The gradual reduction in swelling and bruising I mentioned in my Day 8 update has continued. As of maybe the past couple days, swelling in my penis has completely disappeared. There's still some bruising on one side of my penis, but the bruising is fading and I imagine will disappear in a few more days. Same for the bruising on the glans where the threads were pulled through during surgery.

Swelling in my scrotum has disappeared in almost all areas. There's still maybe a bit of swelling, or maybe just tenderness, in the area where my scrotum remains stuck to the upper part of the pump (I believe near the release valve). There is definitely progress on this, as there is much less skin adhered to the pump compared to a few days ago, and every day it seems like more of the pump moves independently of the scrotum above it.

The incision on my scrotum has completely healed over, which makes cleaning with soap down there a much more confident affair. I think if the stitches magically disappeared everything would hold together just fine. Rubbing against the incision while cleaning would cause nerve pain and tenderness that would last for maybe 30+ minutes in the first 2 weeks post surgery, but I noticed today that touch is no longer uncomfortable. Sensitive, but more of a ticklish sensation than painful.

I've felt so confident in my rate of healing that at the beginning of this past week I reactivated dating profiles that I had left dormant for the past 2 years (pandemic was depressing enough, had no desire to add more failed ED hookups on top of it). The goal being to line up the opportunity in advance to use the implant when I get clearance from my doc.

Masturbation discussion, feel free to skip
I have to admit, looking at all these profiles and imagining putting my implant to use got me riled up. I've been avoiding masturbation because I imagine it's counter-productive to the healing process at this stage, but I gave in to the temptation yesterday. I definitely have heightened sensitivity in a new and interesting way currently, and reaching an orgasm was more challenging than usual... kind of like the roadblock I get when I've been very stoned in the past. And the weird thing is, when I finally did reach what I thought was an orgasm, I started involuntarily urinating instead of ejaculating. I'm glad I was in the bathroom and no mess was created.

With that weird experience climaxing yesterday, I was curious to try again today and see if there was a repeat. I definitely wanted to get a handle on the problem before being with a partner and having an embarrassing accident. Fortunately, the involuntary urination didn't happen this time, and everything worked as expected.
End masturbation discussion

Anyway, I'm going to make an effort to going back to keeping my hands away from my junk, I'm probably risking creating problems for myself by messing around this early in the process.

Size and Shrinkage
I'm going to use centimeters here despite being American, it's just easier for me to be more exact in measurements
Pre-Surgery
A couple days before surgery, I measured myself with the best Cialis induced erection I could muster at somewhere between 15 - 15.5 cm length and 10.5cm girth (fairly uniform along all points on shaft).

Post-Surgery
2.5 weeks out of surgery with all swelling gone, ~70% pumped implant and no engorgement in glans, I am 13 cm length (measuring to the tips of the implant in the glans, not the tip of the glans) and 10.4cm girth mid-shaft.

Am I worried about the loss of size? Not really. There's a pretty clear pattern on the forum of people losing size immediately post-surgery and then regaining in the months after. Also being only 70% pumped might be stealing a bit of size from me, I imagine I might get a bit back from being at 100%. And once I'm healed, I feel like there's plenty of opportunity ahead for me to gain a little bit extra with some combination of regular VED use, extra pumping, jelqing and traction devices. Heck, might even do some UroFill to fill out girth.

Exercise
With pain at low and manageable levels, I've been eager to get back to weightlifting, especially as I feel my mood has taken a dip from not having a good workout in the past 2.5 weeks. I know lifting anything over 20lbs is a no-no for 6 weeks post-surgery, but I had to ask Dr. Clavell: "what about body-weight squats? Pushups?" The doctor politely told me no, even those mild exercises put pressure on the core and could move the reservoir down into my scrotum if I don't give it the full 6 weeks to heal.

Ah well. I'll keep doing 1 mile daily walks, no problem there.

Being in public with a 70% erection
For the prior 2 weeks, bending my dick in any direction other than the 3:00 position it defaults to has gone from absolutely excruciating (first week after surgery) to tolerable for a few minutes at a time (second week). As of yesterday, I can keep it tucked into the waistband of my jockeys nearly indefinitely without much discomfort. So I'm not exactly rushing out to have a social life, but as long as I have a long, loose shirt or sweatshirt I can walk around in public or be with family without strategically tying a sweater around my waist.

I'll probably wait another few weeks before doing another update, no cause for concern if this thread goes quiet for a bit. Things have been pretty steady, so no news is good news at this point.

[galactic]

Dude, were you cleared for sexual use of the implant yet, masturbation being included amongst sexual usage?

[cbinspok]

Searching
You have entered the hardest part, it aint the surgery with all the pain and colorful changes its the slow the F down time. Its hard because your brain is on the hi speed rails and your body is on the kiddie ride and its months before they intersect. You. Are going to have a great life just one day at at time don’t get carried off by a few here that get an implant and are doing the maid a week later there a Type A s, even on these forms- it’s bs.
Slow down you are going great, your body will be healing for a long time after your brain says your done. I’m at a year and still have a bit of fixation to the pump just at the spot you mentioned just about the R value.
Congratulations search you made it to the straightaway! Its a long one.