How do y’all live with this ?

[snowerhood]

(edited down for focus)
If I had girls (or when I did have girls) willing to have sex with me, I usually warned them that "My erection does not perform as well as it should, but I will make sure to pleasure you as much as I possibly can." and had very few refuse at least one "audition" and plenty that stuck around, at least for a while. I do admit, in retrospect, that I did lose a few relationships over my inability to do coitus properly. So, I am super happy to have gotten my implant. But if I could have performed adequately without implantation I likely would be just as happy with my natural erections. There are advantages to an implant (unlimited duration being the top of the list), but advantages to a natural erection, too (spontaneity of erection, tops, as women appreciate being able to take credit for "authoring" their man's erection - it validates their desirability, I think).

What do you mean by "tops"? Sorry, didn't get it, but I'm interested in the meticulous research about what I can lose with getting an implant. Don't want to meet with unexpected bad surprises if I'll need one

Sorry, poor wording.

Spontaneity of erection is the most important feature of a natural erection, as women appreciate being able to take credit for "authoring" their man's erection - it validaes their desirability, I think.

I used the verb "tops" as a synonym for "trumps" or "overshadows" or "is at the top of the list" or "ranks highest".

Ah, ok, got it. Is it really the biggest problem with implants? Because there is one question that haunts me. I saw a couple of people here who resort to additional help for their erection despite of having an implant, like using ED pills, rings or VED, for their glans being more engorged. Is it really necessary to do this? One of the pros mentioned here about an implants was the spontaneity of sex which it brings to your life. But if the person needs to wear ring, take pills (ok, pills are relatively okay) or even using VED, can you describe his sex life as spontaneous? So the question is how important additional help is for an implant user to have a full filed sex life

[stephen54]

Some guys here are in a constant state of creatively fine-tuning their implant game. The glans engorgement part you mentioned seems a fairly common focus and I guess marries the art and science of erections. And while I entirely understand that desire to tweak the glans, for myself I don't do any of those things you noted to push it to engorge further, and I don't do them for precisely the reasons you seemed to allude to.

For me, I just don't want more (erection) devices or more process. I want, as closely as possible, to mimic the more natural flow of sex. That doesn't mean we don't like toys...we've got a warehouse of god knows how many toys we both like...I'm just talking about devices I'd have to pull out specifically aimed, after inflation, at further fine-tuning my erection, achieving and maintaining a level of glans engorgement for the duration of playtime. Even if I was interested in tweaking my glans (and I do occasionally wish it was fuller) I would be mindful of the impressions my wife might take away from the extra efforts once we're going at it. She is who she is. She mostly just wants to GO. Not think. Just go - jump in. It's one thing for her to pull favorite toys out; seems like another thing to pull out devices needed to kind of further max out the erection that's clearly already arrived. I admit the line seems overlapping and blurry there, so be it. For me, I don't want her thinking, in that regard.

I think it's good, though, that you're thinking through it this way and you'll benefit I'm sure from understanding both points of view.

My glans was previously quite fat on injections. Fatter on injections than it was on pills, and she liked it. For sure. My size changed after implant and as I've noted, she and I both had some ways of thinking and significant history with my old dick which needed accommodating and adapting in the new world here. For us I think it's just the balancing of doing more things related to engorgement and hardness, vs just flowing and enjoying the dick I do have more immediately and thoroughly and with less contemplation. To your question - yes absolutely, we're living an extremely fulfilled sex life and we utterly ignore the change in my glans. We've adapted and found untold #s of other things to keep us busy.

There's the cerebral, thinking part to sex that's so awesome (the flirtation, anticipation, seduction, cultivation of fantasies, roleplay, etc) but then there's the other kind of "thinking" part to sex that's not so awesome (the more rational kind of thinking that ensnares your mind, distracts, and can take you out of the moment).

I'm sure there are guys who have incorporated glans engorgement approaches into their flow with their partner and just made that part of the overall experience, and I'm sure there are partners who don't mind, who love it, who are participatory etc. To each their own, that's awesome. I guess like anything else you need to know yourself and know your partner.

[AmansinCali]

Snowerhood,

I can only relay to you what I have learned on this forum and what my doctor has told me. It is generally said here and when I asked my doctor about it, because it is a concern to every implantee, he told me the same thing, "If you are getting glans engorgement before surgery you will have it after you are implanted."

Engorgement comes from a separate nerve system that is not harmed during implant surgery, so if you have engorgement before you will have it after. ED comes in various degrees, some can get it up with decent engorgement, but the erection does not last long enough for penetration, if you have that you will have it after. If you get engorgement from using drugs and stimulation you will have it after. Some guys who suffer from ED never get any sort of erection with stimulation, from oral drugs or injections, you probably will not have engorgement after implanting. The implant will always give you a full functioning erection for penetration, if you don't have engorgement hope is not lost, that is when extraordinary methods help, some take the oral drugs for help, some use cock rings, others use a gel put into the urethra. Bottom line is, we are all different, if with an implant you don't have the engorgement you want it is up to you to be proactive and work with your doctor until you have the dick you and your partner want or need.

I will be implanted in four days, I have engorgement now when stimulated, but it does not last long enough for penetration. I hope to have decent engorgement after being implanted, if I don't, I will work with my doctor until my wife and I are happy. If you read my signature, you will see that I cannot take oral dick pills so for me I would have to resort to rings, gels or both. I am sure I will be posting my results as I heal and begin to use my new dick.

I wish you the best of luck in your pursuit to find the perfect combination for you. You have come to the right place and you are asking the right questions. You and your partner deserve to find that perfect combination, keep on it.

[aslanglobal]

We live in an age where the solution is there. Its either an implant or something less invasive. Be grateful we have this and find the right doctor. Stop crying to yourself at night and fix this.

Hey folks I know my Ed was the reason of my stupidity and still today it haunts me and weakens me as a man that only if I stayed away from certain stuff I would’ve never had a problem with my dick. I wanted to ask how do you guys deal with something like this bothering you because I cry like a baby literally every night thinking about how my life could’ve been if my dick was alright. I ignore so many girls I have so many girls messaging me to meet then go dates and even have sex with them but I know I can’t perform which sets me back it’s just so upsetting for someone my age . Please give me any tips of how I can not think of my Ed that much have you tried a therapist?

[Lost Sheep]

What do you mean by "tops"? Sorry, didn't get it, but I'm interested in the meticulous research about what I can lose with getting an implant. Don't want to meet with unexpected bad surprises if I'll need one

Sorry, poor wording.

Spontaneity of erection is the most important feature of a natural erection, as women appreciate being able to take credit for "authoring" their man's erection - it validaes their desirability, I think.

I used the verb "tops" as a synonym for "trumps" or "overshadows" or "is at the top of the list" or "ranks highest".

Ah, ok, got it. Is it really the biggest problem with implants? Because there is one question that haunts me. I saw a couple of people here who resort to additional help for their erection despite of having an implant, like using ED pills, rings or VED, for their glans being more engorged. Is it really necessary to do this? One of the pros mentioned here about an implants was the spontaneity of sex which it brings to your life. But if the person needs to wear ring, take pills (ok, pills are relatively okay) or even using VED, can you describe his sex life as spontaneous? So the question is how important additional help is for an implant user to have a full filed sex life

The additional help (pills and VED) are for engorgement of the sponsiosum, which is totally unaffected by the implant, which substitutes for the corpus cavernosum only. Separate mechanisms for erection of the penis and engorgement of the rest of the pemis.

So, the extra help is not for erection, but for fullness.

VED and rings and such require so much equipment and external mechanical operations that spontaneity is (iin my opinion) virtually nil. Though some couples do find it satisfactory.

As far asa spontaneity is concerned, there are two criteria I apply. One is prior preparation (pills take 30 minutes to an hour and infections take preparation of the injection plus the time to take effect) and the other is how it appears to your partner (going from flaccid to erect in response to foreplay). Pills are the most realistic since after they take effect it still takes stimulation and arousal to produce an erection, which comes up by one's own blood flow, very much like a natural erection. Injections will produce an erection in whatever time it takes, but the erection comes all by itself whether there is stimulation or not. By contrast, an implant erection is available without any preparation whatsoever within a sixty seconds. But it requires pumping up manually, so one's partner's participation in producing the erection response (even illusory, as with the injections) is not necessary. So you partner generally becomes only a spectator in that part of the process (unless they do the pumping).