My adventures with ED

[kaotkbliss]

Not sure where to begin except that I'm about to be a 45 year old man and at some point, probably 3 or 4 years ago, I had a micro tear that caused some issues until it healed. When it did finally heal, I ended up with a rather large curve to it. While it did make insertion a little difficult, I've not really had any issues performing otherwise.

Fast forward to about a year ago when my wife and I really started to buckle down and get some much needed work done on the house. It started with removing a chain-link fence, buying the empty lot next door, digging out a flat, level area for a pool, floors, counters, etc. A lot of hard work all through the spring and a good part of the summer. It was at this point we decided we needed to move to a better area and so house hunting ensued. Our current home was only in her name because we weren't married and my credit was bad so part of the reason for getting a new home was so that both of us could be on the title and mortgage.
My credit score had been stuck around 670-690 when last I had checked so I was a bit worried about getting a mortgage.

It was also around this time I think that the sex just pretty much stopped due to one or both of us being exhausted or not feeling well, etc. Saturday's are our days for intimacy since the following day isn't a work day and Friday's after work we're usually just too busy and tired. Not to mention my sex drive had just become pretty much non-existent.

Back to the house hunting. We finally found a house this past fall and were approved for the mortgage (my credit score was a lot higher than I had thought) Unfortunately the house we bought also needed a lot of work (wallpaper removed, all new floors, deep cleaning, paining, counters, appliances, etc.) So we started that mess. But, we also needed to get the other house finished (power washing the deck, still a couple floors needed replaced, retaining wall replaced, fresh paint and so on) so we could get it on the market before winter. Then came the stress of actually getting a buyer.

The house finally sold and we could simply focus on the new house which we then found some additional expensive issues with (basement door not installed correctly and with no support header and not enough ventilation in the roof).

After all this and getting some of the work done, we found some time we could spend together in January or February but the unthinkable happened, I went soft partway through and was unable to continue which made for an unpleasant evening. We tried again a month or 2 later and same thing.

I was certain it had to be a testosterone issue but my score came back from the Dr. at 350 (normal range is 250-920ish) I also now have high anxiety when even thinking about spending time with my wife because of the issues. I am currently seeing a Doctor and a Urologist to try to remedy the situation and fix the curve but so far we haven't had any luck.

[bldoink]

Welcome to the forum. There's a lot there in your first post. It's good you're now seeing a urologist. I hope he/she's a good one experienced with sexual health.

Have you tried pills like Viagra yet?

Some guys have reported some success with a VED and traction devices to help with the curve.

Good luck.

[iwantanewone]

wow! You have had a lot of stressful situations… Unfortunately it sounds like the tear left you with scarring or plaquing in your penis… You did not mention if any doctor said or if you’ve read about Peyronie’s disease… If you’re able to get an erection but not sustain it then you should read about Venous leak…Also, you did not mention if you’ve tried Viagra or Cialis… If you do not have a serious case of Peyronie’s or Venous leak than these medication’s may help you… I tried them both but I had too much of a leak and scarring so they did not work for me for very long and I now have an implant…I have never tried injections but many men try the injections and this may help you also before you need an implant… Most importantly is to get a urologist that specializes in ED… Because many urologist are more interested in bladder, kidney stones, incontinence and those issues… Find an ED specialist but not one that will want to do an implant immediately before going through all the other options… Depending on where you’re located… You can put a post in this forum and ask who has seen which doctors and start with that… Good luck with this journey it’s challenging and frustrating but try keep a positive attitude and seek the best treatment and results!

[kaotkbliss]

Both the original Doctor when I first had the tear as well as the Urologist I am now seeing have mentioned Peyronie's but haven't said anything beyond just mentioning it. I do have a prescription for Cialis but have yet to have the opportunity to try it Although I have started taking Vit-D, zinc and magnesium to help naturally boost my Testosterone which I have noticed a very slight improvement. (If it did affect my Testos level I would guess I went from 350 to maybe around 375. Just to kind of give an idea of the level of improvement)

The first weekend after I had picked up the prescription, the wife wanted to just spend some time together (without using the Cialis) with no expectations of anything happening just to see how things went. She ended up performing oral during which I was never able to get fully hard. The weekend after, her stomach and IBS was acting up, the weekend after she had irritation and a UI while I ended up with a headache in the back of my head. This past weekend, we were both pretty much exhausted after working all day on the house. Hopefully we'll have a chance this coming weekend, especially since my follow up appointments for both the Dr. and the Urologist are next week and they are both waiting to see if the Cialis helps at all or not.

[kaotkbliss]

I know it's been quite some time but after last night I just had to give an update
so on my last urologist visit, she had given some options on straightening the curve and set our next appointment pretty far out. (I think my last appointment was in July or something and my next one was coming up this week but we need to reschedule because she won't be in the office)
I talked over the options with my wife, but due to either the costs or risks involved, we decided to hold off until we saw how the Cialis was going to work.

Anyway, in that time my wife and I had tried the Cialis a total of 4 times. The first 2 times everything worked well enough that we were able to be intimate.
The 3rd time it didn't work so well. Never got fully erect. That time I had taken the Cialis with dinner so that shortly after we could head upstairs. I don't know if that had anything to do with it or not.

My wife then came down with a nasty flu that lasted about a month and a half - two months
This past week she was finally feeling better and last night I waited until a bit after dinner to take the Cialis
When we went upstairs everything started off fine. I was erect and ready to go, but then after a minute or so of fumbling around trying to penetrate due to the curvature, I lost the erection and was not able to get it back.

This whole situation is really starting to mess with me and has me pretty depressed and my wife is starting to have doubts that I have ED and is starting to wonder if I'm just not interested in her anymore.

[1day2Bbionic]

Unfortunately it seems that many women dont understand that many times ED has nothing to do with attraction. Everything on TV and the movies shows a man gets turned on and in 10 seconds his pants are down and he's ready to go and it can be difficult for them to understand that it doesnt always work that way in real life. I tried to explain it to my wife in another way. I'm a runner and if I sign up for a half marathon and a week before I break my foot after months of training I am not able to run the race. It doesnt matter how much I have put into it or how bad I want to race I physically just cant do it with a broken foot. Its a medical reason that you just cant immediately fix. For some reason she seemed to understand it a little more when I put it in those terms.

[Old Guy]

Wow, sorry about all the tough times. Cialis never worked for me, maybe ask doc for a different med?
Definitely talk with your wife about ED. It's not your fault!

[vinnylid]

kaotkbliss
Some years back I had a serious curvature and hour glassing.
I have no idea whether it was peyronnies or not, but this is what I did. I started taking Pentoxifylline twice a day. I did vaccum erection exercises daily and kegels twice a day. If you have curvature, oral medication will not give an adequate erection for penetration. Trying to penetrate without an adequate erection will just damage the penis further. I went to a men's clinic to start testosterone and get a trimix penis injection. Over time most of my curvature is gone. I still can feel the scar tissue along the top of the penis. I have regained my length a 7 inches and girth at 5.5 inches. We schedule a pajama party day weekly and discuss it ahead of time. An hour and a half before our time I take viagra. While she takes her bath, I try to get an erection to get a good target for injection. I inject fairly close to the penis head just below the glan to avoid the scar tissue. I then apply a cock ring, which is vital to maintain the erection. I self inject with an 31 by 5/16. Do not use an auto-inject. That was a disaster for me hitting scar tissue. I am 78 and not failing to penetrate anymore

[bldoink]

My experience is with Viagra. With me it works better and gives less side effects on an empty stomach, not that it ever works much.

[kaotkbliss]

Thank you all for the replies

@1day2Bbionic I believe she understands, it's just that this issue seemed to come on rather suddenly in her mind, I think. There was almost a year where we hadn't even tried anything which I believe was due to all the stress and probably my testosterone dropping at the same time that I had explained in my first post. Fortunately she is trying to be understanding and isn't making a big deal about it, I'd just like to alleviate her doubts.

@Old Guy and @bldoink I think I might see about having my script changed to viagra instead of ciallis and see if I don't have better results. I also want to push more for getting a testosterone script as well.

@vinnylid I'll have to look up and see what that Pentoxifylline is, I've not heard of that. I have considered kegels might help, it's just simply getting it into my daily routine/remember to do them. I can't remember what the name of it was off-hand, but my urologist had mentioned some contraption that straps around the penis and you adjust it so it stretches it in the opposite direction of the curve, that over time is supposed to reduce the curvature. Problem is I'd think you would need to maintain an erection while wearing it or it won't work and you're supposed to do it 2x daily for 1/2 hour each time. I'm not sure I could maintain that long. As for the shots.... Yikes! not sure I could bring myself to put a needle in it! LOL.

Thank you all again for your responses!