33 year old virgin with ED - how to manage my first time?

Anything goes when it comes to ED.
EveningWood
Posts: 45
Joined: Sat Jun 19, 2021 3:12 pm

Re: 33 year old virgin with ED - how to manage my first time?

Postby EveningWood » Fri Dec 30, 2022 4:35 pm

EveningWood wrote:Merry Christmas to all members!


Wishing everyone lots of health and joyful moments with loved ones!



A thread and personal update - I had full intercourse last Saturday, less than two weeks before turning 34.


Unfortunately, I got dumped because of the said intercourse and it did raise some questions. But more details on that in a separate post in the coming days, as I am currently relaxing with my family.



Regards,
EveningWood




As promised, here is a more detailed overview of the relationship, interaction and break up (from both sides' POV).


In short, I met this woman trough online dating. Not ideal, but due to much work/renovations this year I had to be efficient with time. So I set up a profile, that generated matches here and there.


We chatted for a month before the first date. We kissed and had a heavy make out in a club on our second date (I could have closed there, If I were persistent enough). On the third date, we were in a café with again with a heavy making out. For the forth date, she came straight to my place, with the intention of sex (we were chatting for more than two months by this point, with lots of sexting).


An hour before she came to the house, I took two 5mg generic Tadalafil pills, but did not feel anything specific, except some flow to my member.

On the mentioned forth date, we made out for a half or a full hour, I undressed and massaged her. Everything was going great. I undressed and she immediately started stimulating me manually and orally. I still could not obtain a full erection and size as in my teens, we went trough three different positions, but basically sticked with missionary (I was too soft or not long enough for the other positions). The condoms kept almost falling off, and also she had to constantly stimulate me with hands or mouth, even for a partial erection. During missionary, she started moaning and said afterwards that she came (not sure if it was true).

At almost two and a half hours in, she was struggling in making me come. I could see she was annoyed/bored. After I came, she cleaned up herself, dressed and I walked her to the subway station to take a train to her home.
She did not sent me any text that night (during the second and third dates, when there were making outs, she texted me immediately and playfully when she returned home). She was distant and I basically asked her five days after the sex what was going on (fully aware that she has moved on in her mind, just wanted to know the reasons). She basically said:

- I am expressive (in sex) and you are not - perhaps this alludes to the fact that she did not want me to put on any condoms, and kept removing them. (Also, I was mindful if we make too many "noises" - since I am in a new building and those can be heard easily);
- I do not like and do not have the time to wait 2+ hours for the man to come; I prefer to have a 30-40mins intercourse, and if possible, a second time within our scheduled time (she said it more discrete, but this was the idea).

But in my opinion, she understood that I had ED, and did not want to deal with it (women having too much choice these days and no time for problems). The frustrating part for me is that basically mediocre/horrible penetration trumped over nearly 3 months of texting and great dates. The woman respected me, what I had accomplished, my intelligence and sense of humor. But seems that women put a lot more emphasis on sex than we think and are as shallow as us in some aspects.



Regards,
EveingWood

Martin6469
Posts: 610
Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2020 12:22 pm
Location: St. Louis, USA

Re: 33 year old virgin with ED - how to manage my first time?

Postby Martin6469 » Sat Dec 31, 2022 12:19 am

Congratulations! A partial success! Reminds me of my first time. I fumbled with condoms too, just as you describe. What a nuisance! This was just before BC pills rained down on young women like manna from heaven. Suddenly everyone was on them and inexperienced sex went a lot better.

I recall that the vaginal opening was lower than I thought, and I fished around for a while trying to hit it. If this happened, study a diagram for the next time. It's way down, next to the rectum!

The maximum tadalafil dosage is 20mg. I regularly take the maximum Viagra dosage.

Keep us posted - wishing you well.
Age 79 in 2024. On testosterone replacement due to hypothalamus malfunction. (Attention depressed guys: low testosterone is a cause.) Healthy health nut but ED due to getting old. Like to keep enough cardiovascular ability to thrust for 30 min.

EveningWood
Posts: 45
Joined: Sat Jun 19, 2021 3:12 pm

Re: 33 year old virgin with ED - how to manage my first time?

Postby EveningWood » Mon Jan 09, 2023 2:36 pm

Martin6469 wrote:Congratulations! A partial success! Reminds me of my first time. I fumbled with condoms too, just as you describe. What a nuisance! This was just before BC pills rained down on young women like manna from heaven. Suddenly everyone was on them and inexperienced sex went a lot better.

I recall that the vaginal opening was lower than I thought, and I fished around for a while trying to hit it. If this happened, study a diagram for the next time. It's way down, next to the rectum!

The maximum tadalafil dosage is 20mg. I regularly take the maximum Viagra dosage.

Keep us posted - wishing you well.



Thanks!

I read a quote somewhere - "Sex is like oxygen - no big deal, until you stop having any". Seems true.

I had some testing initially to find the opening, but it was a brief couple of seconds. I think that this is more or less instinctual with most men.

Excluding the ED issues during the sex, I think that the woman I was with did not notice that this was my first time at all.
We changed 3 positions couple of times, I penetrated her for an hour, and received bj/hjs for over an hour.
This was preceded by kissing and fondling her large naked breasts for half an hour to a full hour.


It seems that I can add anorgasmia to my ED as well. But I will continue to battle this, hopefully some day a non-invasive solution would be found.

Old Guy
Posts: 2703
Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:31 pm
Location: Ohio

Re: 33 year old virgin with ED - how to manage my first time?

Postby Old Guy » Mon Jan 09, 2023 3:01 pm

Well, congrats, I guess. I say just relax and enjoy your partner. Communication helps. If you've been sexting there's the first step, bring it to the bedroom.

And yup, once you experience it you want more.
Nov. 8, 2019
4+ years, Coloplast Titan OTR
Married 36 years to my beautiful young bride
Always here to answer questions if you PM me

Martin6469
Posts: 610
Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2020 12:22 pm
Location: St. Louis, USA

Re: 33 year old virgin with ED - how to manage my first time?

Postby Martin6469 » Wed Feb 22, 2023 11:28 pm

Evening Wood: You mentioned possible anorgasmia last month. Masters and Johnson studied anorgasmia in young men, and advise them to get masturbated by the partner (a hand job), a few times, and then the very pleasurable feeling of having an orgasm in a woman's hand will remove any subconscious inhibition about ejaculating in her vagina.

You have to reciprocate, though. They also counsel that, unless she's a paid surrogate, the woman will have her own sexual feelings built up and you must relieve her after she relieves you! You do that by rubbing her clitoris with lubricant until she has an orgasm. Or you can lick it and suck it. Check YouTube for "clit play" and "cunnilingus." Lot of fun videos.
Age 79 in 2024. On testosterone replacement due to hypothalamus malfunction. (Attention depressed guys: low testosterone is a cause.) Healthy health nut but ED due to getting old. Like to keep enough cardiovascular ability to thrust for 30 min.

Bigdave
Posts: 342
Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2023 1:23 am
Location: VA

Re: 33 year old virgin with ED - how to manage my first time?

Postby Bigdave » Mon Feb 27, 2023 1:59 am

Eveningwood, Congrats, and remember, practice makes perfect.

When I was young, I had trouble with PE. My first time with my high school sweetheart probably lasted under 2 minutes. LOL
In my 20's I had a year-long relationship with a tall, very sexy, absolutely gorgeous lady a few years older than me. She had a very high sex drive, and wasn't afraid to tell me what she wanted. She taught me how to please her, and to control my ejaculation and give her multiple orgasms. She was the turning point for me.

With her and all my partners afterward, after foreplay I like to start by giving her oral, to the point of her first orgasm. I really enjoy doing it, and it takes the pressure off me about making sure she gets off.
Eliminating that performance anxiety usually allowed me to last as long as she wanted, and when she was ready, I could enjoy a very intense ejaculation any way she desired.

Unfortunately, as I've aged, I needed some help, and I just went the implant route.
Hoping it restores me to my younger performance.

Just keep at it. There are plenty of women out there who want sex just as bad as you.
And talk to your doctor about what treatment works best for you. We're all different, and your doc has probably seen it all. LOL

Good luck.
Age 59. AMS 700 LGX 21cm + 2cm RTE.
Peniscrotal, 2/23.
6.25" OEM with Cialis, about 5" post-op. (11/01: Length 6.75" and girth is up to 4.75" mid shaft.) Still growing, albeit slowly. :D
Cycling daily. Hoping to get to 7". ;)


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