Life Long Psychological ED and My Story.

[Jester]

Just found this forum, hi, from California. I tried to make this as short as possible. Just turned 50 and have had ED my whole life; that is ED when I’m with a woman. No problem with erections in the morning or for masturbation, although during masturbation if I don’t keep constant stimulation my erection goes down immediately. Same with sex so I used to never change positions and I’ve been lucky to have been with so many women/girlfriends that I’ve never used a condom. The times I’ve tried have never worked for me.

So I started watching porn from an early age, I’d say 14 and I’ve been addicted to it ever since. I also masturbate a lot; I only watch porn when masturbating.

From my first girlfriend in college, who I lost my virginity to, it took 3 or 4 sessions to get an erection. I was 17 and very nervous. It finally happened, but ever since then I could never get an erection the first time with a new person. Once I got an erection, I would have to go to penetration immediately or lose the erection and not be able to get it back up. It was a ritual that I was ok with and wasn’t internally nervous or anxious. I simply told the girl that I can’t get hard the first time. Never had any push back with that.

Now once I was in there I was fine as long as I was going at it pretty quickly. Luckily, I could last quite a while.

Then about 8 years ago I got a prescription for Viagra and my world changed. I could get and keep an erection, mostly, change positions, etc… Now most of it was psychological and there would be the odd girl where I still couldn’t get it up the first time with her on Viagra.

Now comes my dilemma. About 2 ½ years ago I was sick of the dating scene and starting, for the first time in my life, going to massage parlors, having sugar babies, seeing prostitutes and going on sex vacations. I’ve always had an affinity for prostitutes, but never been with one. I loved the idea of actually picking out the body type I was most attracted to, but this was way hit or miss, Viagra used every time of course.

Either I was hard and could have penetration sex to completion, have penetrative sex but couldn’t stay hard and was able to manually orgasm, usually in their mouth, my preference. But all of these scenarios were like the old days if I had an erection, I had to go to penetration immediately.

Here’s the rub, no pun intended, it’s obviously psychological ED that I have because when I’m with a not so attractive partner, hate to say, but kind of ugly and not great body, I can have sex like a porn star. I can easily last 3+ hours, I’ve gone countless times 5 hours or more. Hard and fast thrusting for long periods, cum, rest a few minutes and back at it. Well I want that with my ideal woman. For me I don’t have a type I like them short and petite and short and full figured. But I can’t seem to perform the way I want with my ideal type. Now whatever psychology is going on it’s not like I treat the women different. Meaning I’m not putting more stock in hot women and don’t care about the ugly ones where I don’t mind using them as a hole. I still get off mentally by pleasing them and pleasuring them whoever they are.

I’ve gone to a therapist,a doctor, that specializes in sex. It was all talk therapy and didn’t help at all. I paid for that on my own. I’ve asked my current general doctor for a referral as I need one to see someone within my policy, but they don’t have therapists who specialize in sex. I don’t mind paying on my own, but I would need to find the right one.

I’ve talked with my urologist and he concluded it is psychological. He also informed me trimix was a bad thing. I forget why, but build up of scar tissue or something like that. From what limited reading I’ve done on here so far, seems like finding a urologist specializing in ED is key.

I’ve also paid for https://courses.creatingchangela.com/co ... -stay-hard it was helpful information, but didn’t help. I’m sure I need to see a therapist.

Also I’m very attentive so recently I’ve realize I’ve been in fight or flight mode my whole life. I’m not anxious or nervous with these new types of women, but something is affecting my performance. The worst part is it’s inconsistent I never know if I’m going to get an erection or not.

[Zwinny]

Symptoms indicate venous leakage, do penile doppler

[Jester]

Interesting. Thanks for that. I take it talk to my urologist?

Does this still pertain if I get morning erections that don't go down?

[s7utty]

Symptoms indicate venous leakage, do penile doppler

he says he had sex for 3hours and you say to him that he have venous leak?

[Jester]

Yeah that didn't make sense to me either, but I really know nothing about this. Seems I haven't had very good doctors, but I really think it's psychological, but def open to other opinions.

[Martin6469]

Jester: For your psychological ED you might check Dan Savage's site www.savage.love. He's the best sex advice columnist I know, and has covered a lot of psychological sex problems. You'll have to pay $25 or $40/year to look through his archives, but they go back two decades, and I'd be surprised if a similar problem to yours has not been considered. You can also put your problem to him and maybe you'll get an answer. He has a group of sex specialists who supply answers for unusual issues. Savage doesn't consider his opinion the final word, but invites readers to chime in, so if selected, you'll get a lot of commentary. To improve chances of getting selected, state your problem concisely, and if you can, in a manner which might interest a lot of readers. Don't mention physical problems; you'll get plenty of that kind of advice here.

Just to illustrate how different psychologically we guys can be, in my young days I had an erection problem with any woman who was a little chunky; a girl had to have my body type, thin, and pretty good looking, to give me a reliable hard-on.

The larger urology practices usually have doctors who specialize in sex problems, as well as the urologists who work on "plumbing" such as prostate enlargement and kidney stones. The consensus here on FT seems to be to avoid "men's clinics" because they're overpriced, have "one size fits all" services, and do not deal with complex or unusual problems. One of our FT friends says a doctor who wasn't a real doctor damaged his penis at such a clinic.

I've been using Trimix weekly for five years and have no scarring or other problems with it. Many other FT guys will say the same thing, but research the "Injections" topic, and you'll see much commentary.

[Jester]

Thanks. Excellent Advice. As far as the tri mix from what I've read it gives you an erection no problem. Psychology has nothing to do with it?

[Pumpkinman]

Hey Jester Many users use Trimix for years upon years with no scarring or problems some as long as 30 years. It really is a game changer but once you start you really won't want to have sex without it. The key to keeping scarring away when using Trimix seems to be less injections...some dudes use it way to often.

[Jester]

Cool. So what is too much use? Again, I take it trimix will make you go hard no matter what's in your head?

[s7utty]

Cool. So what is too much use? Again, I take it trimix will make you go hard no matter what's in your head?

i also wonder about that