A sex addicts confession (And coming implant)

[Zenmasterdj]

Hi guys
Just wanted to drop a note and tell everyone about me. I think I will be journaling my "adventure" going forward

Briefly about me.

Started working in strip clubs when I was 19. Started because the money was insane but ended up staying for the lifestyle. Something about making $1500 a night and getting to bang hot girls all the time made me stick around, even though the deception and madness of that lifestyle is rough on a person's psyche.

Not asking for sympathy. Like I said, it was amazing. But just like most things, it comes with a price

I was lost in a world of sex addiction, food addiction and basically gluttony. I was a hedonist in every sense of the word. Thank god I was smart enough to stay away from the drugs or I would probably be dead by now.

The lifestyle was amazing, but again, rough. You think seeing up to 150 hot, naked girls every night would be a dream but after a while you get more turned on by girls with their clothes on.

You think it would be amazing to have sexy young girls come over and touch your cock every few hours in a highly sexually charged work atmosphere, but some nights you just want to do your work and go home.

Like I said, don't feel bad for me. Just listen to my story.

I originally thought the work atmosphere was the reason for my slight ED. Figured i was desensitized from seeing thousands of naked bodies over my almost 20 years in the biz. Thought i had f%*ked my way to not care anymore. Maybe too proud to admit it was a physical problem. I am sure we have all been there.

About ten years ago I quit and opened my own business. Less money. More headaches. But I thought I was doing what was healthy for me. Got married to a beautiful Thai woman.

Had ED problems on our honeymoon (along with the annoying "not being able to cum very easy" problem I also seem to have). Had sex with her maybe 6 times over the next three years. Really shitty of me to make her feel that way but I just thought I was bored of her.

I mean, she would walk around naked and my cock would not get hard. I didn't even wake up in the morning with wood that often. And when We DID have sex, my cock would kinda fade off on me and I would just skip cumming.

I thought maybe it was her but most likely it was me.

Why sugar coat it. It was 100% me.

We got divorced.

Hard to hurt someone I cared about like that, but our relationship had turned into a brother/sister thing without the sexual connection. Again, my fault in the beginning. She just went with it.

So, in search of something that could make me "feel it" again, I sold my businesses (I had two by then) and moved to asia.

Figured I would really feed into my sex addiction. What could go wrong, right?

So I moved to Thailand prepared to have the time of my life living in Pattaya.

But the ED got worse. And the amazing times i had planned turned into occasional fun that worked out when my dick was properly medicated.

In the last 4 years I have tried everything. Every ED drug under the sun. Stem cells (3 times), PRP shots (6 times) and P141 peptides.

All of it worked for a moment in time but faded.

I mean, I have had 3 or 4 women over the last few years that were out of this world hot that actually liked me and wanted to have a relationship with me. But as soon as my dick would start acting up, I would ghost them leaving them wondering why on earth a below average looking 50 year old guy like me would reject a blazing hot 30 something girl like them.

I mean, it really drove a few of them mental.

I passed on all of them and settled for a nice girl who doesn't expect much.

I lay on my back and let her get off a few times a month and she seems content.

I find ways to jerk off when she goes to sleep although the ED makes that hard too.

Now I am finally done trying to struggle through it all and I am going to schedule to have an implant done.

I am still living in asia, but I had a virtual appointment last week with Dr. Jonathan Clavell. Seemed like a nice guy. Seemed passionate. Answered all my questions and deals with people who come in from out of town frequently.

He also seems to have good reviews here.

So I think my plan is to fly into Vegas on April 25th. I have a convention I need to attend. Probably fly over to visit my parents for about ten days and then fly to Houston to get the surgery. Stay in a hotel a few days, see the Doc again and then get on a plane for a 24 hour flight back here.

The 24 hour travel a few days after surgery sounds awful, I know, but he suggested it when I explained my agenda on the trip home.

And of course, I have a million questions

Most of them have already been answered on here, but I still them, gnawing at my brain, know what I mean?

How will my cock feel once it is in there? Like a cock, or like something else?

Will I really be happy with it, or just content that I have something, instead of basically nothing?

How much worse than a regular penis will it be?

How much better? (it can be both)

My cock is a grower...how uncomfortable will it be to be a shower? And how long will it take to adjust?

What does it feel like flacid? Or hard?

Will I really be able to fuck as much as I want? And...will I want to?

How much will it hurt and for how long?

And I guess the most important...how can I make sure I do not get an infection?

And on a really personal level, will I go back to be an uncontrollable sex addict again? If my dick can get hard whenever I want for however long as I want, and I am living in a candyland of eager asian pussy, will I lose my mind?

Honestly the ED has probably kept me from spending myself into the poor house banging 3-4 girls a day.

That was just a stream of thought and not really questions for the crowd, I guess.

I am sure I have a bunch more, and I am even more sure that each one of those answers is totally subjective to each person, so I don't expect you to answer. Just kinda putting it all out there.

Maybe just so I can see the words on the screen and remember they were mine.

I appreciate you all and I appreciate this group. I look forward to trying to add some value as I take some from you guys over the next months.

Zen

[atul21]

Hi Zen!
What a journey you've had! My best wishes and positive energies to you as you embark on the road to being bionic.

Dr. Clavell is a very thoughtful and a great surgeon. He was one of my top choices and I am sure you will have a great surgical outcome. From what many patients of Dr. Clavell here claim, the pain is zero because of the nerve block.
I am about 10 days post my surgery with Dr. Cordon in Miami. Now I have almost zero pain and only slight discomfort of being partially inflated.

to answer few of your q's-

How will my cock feel once it is in there? Like a cock, or like something else?- Definitely like a cock. The sensations are preserved post surgery. Some coldness on the shaft initially perhaps but that should go away with time.

Will I really be happy with it, or just content that I have something, instead of basically nothing?- Assuming that you have a dick which is not capable or having intercourse or an on-demand sex. Then you should be more than happy. If you will compare yourself to when you had a naturally working dick, you might be disappointed. But the implant works everytime and for as long as you want!

How much worse than a regular penis will it be?- In my case I think it will end up looking better than before. I had minor peyronies disease which will get treated as well along with the IPP

How much better? (it can be both)- You can have on demand erections and can keep them for as long as you want. With Dr. Clavell you will most likely maintain or better your pre-op size.

My cock is a grower...how uncomfortable will it be to be a shower? And how long will it take to adjust?- Once you start cycling, you should be fine. You will have a partially inflated penis for 4-6 weeks with Dr. Clavell. This is the only downside I see with his approach. A longer activation period.

Will I really be able to fuck as much as I want? And...will I want to?- Yes. You can fuck as much and as long as you want. Even after ejaculation you will not lose the erection. If you ejaculate before surgery you should be able to ejaculate after as well, if your glans swell with blood before, they should well even after.

How much will it hurt and for how long?- From what I read of Dr. Clavell Patients, they don't see much pain in the initial few days. Pain can be managed well by use of pain killers. I had some pain but it was easily managed by having pain killers. After about a week, I am down to eating painkiller once a day. I have also stopped eating the strong painkillers since 2-3 days and eating only ibuprofen. I think you will be pain free after 8-9 days even without pain killers.

And I guess the most important...how can I make sure I do not get an infection?- You have already started this by choosing a high volume and a great surgeon like Dr. Clavell who follow the no touch technique developed by Dr. Eid. Post the surgery, follow all instruction given by the doctor to the T. You should be fine.

Wish you the best! Feel free to connect with me if you have any more questions. Like I said, I just had my surgery and I am due for activation on Mar-16.

Regards,
Atul

[ThailandBound]

Interesting to read your post friend. I am 9 weeks postop (Dr. Clavell) now. I am in Thailand right now. Just arrived today. I have a ladyboy girlfriend and today was official inauguration day. (see my thread i just started “”Inauguration Day”.

I had many of your concerns, and it worked out great! I’m fact, just got back from dinner and about to go for round 2. Round 2!…..and as recently as this past December i couldn’t get it up!

Will write more later in response to your specific questions.

[Zenmasterdj]

Interesting to read your post friend. I am 9 weeks postop (Dr. Clavell) now. I am in Thailand right now. Just arrived today. I have a ladyboy girlfriend and today was official inauguration day. (see my thread i just started “”Inauguration Day”.

I had many of your concerns, and it worked out great! I’m fact, just got back from dinner and about to go for round 2. Round 2!…..and as recently as this past December i couldn’t get it up!

Will write more later in response to your specific questions.

I lived in Pattaya for 5 years before I moved here to the Pines a few months ago. I know it very well.

After my recovery, I fully plan to head back over an have a "break in" party over there =)

[Jage64]

I'm also a Clavell patient, and nearly 3 weeks post op. My wife is an RN and was impressed at how even the employees of the hospital spoke very highly of Dr. Clavell and how nice he was to them. A doctor being nice to the staff gets VERY high marks in my wife's eyes.

I'd recommend you do just what Dr. Clavell says in terms of travel. I flew home ~40 hours after surgery, and although it was only a 4 hour flight, it was a long day of travel and I was very comfortable. I was extremely happy to be back in my own bed, my own shower, bathroom, kitchen, etc. Exponentially better than the hotel room. We stayed at the Doubletree only a couple of miles from the hospital, in a master suite so we could have a little kitchen and my wife could watch her own TV in another room from me in bed. It worked out well, but I wasn't very impressed with the Doubletree FWIW.

I know everybody is different, but I never had any pain that Tylenol/Advil didn't handle. I washed with hibiclens a couple of days before the surgery and the morning of, and once after surgery. Dr. Clavell didn't recommend I continue using it because it can irritate the skin with repeated use. I brought with me new and washed baby socks and put that over my penis as I recovered to protect the head, and in my case I had an incision on the shaft below the corona and the socks covered that nicely.

As far as wanting to use your new penis, I think it's safe to say that if you want to now, you'll want to after surgery. If you don't want to now, having an implant will not change that. Nearly 3 weeks after surgery it's all I can do to not try it out, my wife had to threaten me a couple of days ago that she would call the doctor and rat me out if I didn't cease and desist and get off her.......

It sounds as if you're a self-pay too, like I was. Although I have great health insurance close to home, I did not get a good feeling from the uro in my Kaiser Permanente local office. IPP surgery is not something you shop price on, so I'm lucky that I'm able to afford to pay Dr. Clavell out of pocket. That being said, I would also work into your costs the increased fare of upgraded seating for a long return flight. I think you'd be grateful you did.

Also, if you haven't already, go to Dr. Clavell's YouTube channel and binge his videos. There's a TON of good info there. When I spoke to him about finding his name on FrankTalk, he said he visits FT sometimes to understand what men are talking about so he can make videos addressing real concerns.

[Hillywilly]

Sex addiction? How can you be addicted to the one thing all animal species are designed to do, Procreate.

[SWorks17]

Hi guys
Just wanted to drop a note and tell everyone about me. I think I will be journaling my "adventure" going forward

Briefly about me.

Started working in strip clubs when I was 19. Started because the money was insane but ended up staying for the lifestyle. Something about making $1500 a night and getting to bang hot girls all the time made me stick around, even though the deception and madness of that lifestyle is rough on a person's psyche.

Not asking for sympathy. Like I said, it was amazing. But just like most things, it comes with a price

I was lost in a world of sex addiction, food addiction and basically gluttony. I was a hedonist in every sense of the word. Thank god I was smart enough to stay away from the drugs or I would probably be dead by now.

The lifestyle was amazing, but again, rough. You think seeing up to 150 hot, naked girls every night would be a dream but after a while you get more turned on by girls with their clothes on.

You think it would be amazing to have sexy young girls come over and touch your cock every few hours in a highly sexually charged work atmosphere, but some nights you just want to do your work and go home.

Like I said, don't feel bad for me. Just listen to my story.

I originally thought the work atmosphere was the reason for my slight ED. Figured i was desensitized from seeing thousands of naked bodies over my almost 20 years in the biz. Thought i had f%*ked my way to not care anymore. Maybe too proud to admit it was a physical problem. I am sure we have all been there.

About ten years ago I quit and opened my own business. Less money. More headaches. But I thought I was doing what was healthy for me. Got married to a beautiful Thai woman.

Had ED problems on our honeymoon (along with the annoying "not being able to cum very easy" problem I also seem to have). Had sex with her maybe 6 times over the next three years. Really shitty of me to make her feel that way but I just thought I was bored of her.

I mean, she would walk around naked and my cock would not get hard. I didn't even wake up in the morning with wood that often. And when We DID have sex, my cock would kinda fade off on me and I would just skip cumming.

I thought maybe it was her but most likely it was me.

Why sugar coat it. It was 100% me.

We got divorced.

Hard to hurt someone I cared about like that, but our relationship had turned into a brother/sister thing without the sexual connection. Again, my fault in the beginning. She just went with it.

So, in search of something that could make me "feel it" again, I sold my businesses (I had two by then) and moved to asia.

Figured I would really feed into my sex addiction. What could go wrong, right?

So I moved to Thailand prepared to have the time of my life living in Pattaya.

But the ED got worse. And the amazing times i had planned turned into occasional fun that worked out when my dick was properly medicated.

In the last 4 years I have tried everything. Every ED drug under the sun. Stem cells (3 times), PRP shots (6 times) and P141 peptides.

All of it worked for a moment in time but faded.

I mean, I have had 3 or 4 women over the last few years that were out of this world hot that actually liked me and wanted to have a relationship with me. But as soon as my dick would start acting up, I would ghost them leaving them wondering why on earth a below average looking 50 year old guy like me would reject a blazing hot 30 something girl like them.

I mean, it really drove a few of them mental.

I passed on all of them and settled for a nice girl who doesn't expect much.

I lay on my back and let her get off a few times a month and she seems content.

I find ways to jerk off when she goes to sleep although the ED makes that hard too.

Now I am finally done trying to struggle through it all and I am going to schedule to have an implant done.

I am still living in asia, but I had a virtual appointment last week with Dr. Jonathan Clavell. Seemed like a nice guy. Seemed passionate. Answered all my questions and deals with people who come in from out of town frequently.

He also seems to have good reviews here.

So I think my plan is to fly into Vegas on April 25th. I have a convention I need to attend. Probably fly over to visit my parents for about ten days and then fly to Houston to get the surgery. Stay in a hotel a few days, see the Doc again and then get on a plane for a 24 hour flight back here.

The 24 hour travel a few days after surgery sounds awful, I know, but he suggested it when I explained my agenda on the trip home.

And of course, I have a million questions

Most of them have already been answered on here, but I still them, gnawing at my brain, know what I mean?

How will my cock feel once it is in there? Like a cock, or like something else? (It feel like a real cock)

Will I really be happy with it, or just content that I have something, instead of basically nothing? (You'll be happy, Erection on Demand)

How much worse than a regular penis will it be? (It is different but not that much different)

How much better? (it can be both) (It is better because you can have an erection anytime you want, you can stay hard and keep having sex as long as you can physical handle it)

My cock is a grower...how uncomfortable will it be to be a shower? And how long will it take to adjust? (I guess it depends on which brand of implant you get. If you get a Titan, I've heard on FrankTalk that they don't shrink much when fully deflated. I have the AMS 700 LGX which has a softer flaccid look, but it still shows but not too much. I have an average 6 inch length, and when it's flaccid, I would say it's around 4 inches, it hasn't caused a problem)

What does it feel like flacid? Or hard? (My AMS 700 feels like a normal flaccid dick when I squeeze all the saline out of the implant tubes, but when you touch it, you can definitely feel the tubes and the tips of the tubes in your glans, but it isn't that bad and you get use to it).

Will I really be able to fuck as much as I want? And...will I want to? (Yes, Yes and Yes. If you have a good sex drive, it will still be the same. If my wife would have sex with me 7 days a week, I would want to, but we have different sex drives so we schedule sex at least twice a week)

How much will it hurt and for how long? (All of us are different and heal different. It took longer for my scrotum and penis to heal and it would hurt when fully inflated after about 30 to 45 minutes. I would say for me, at 4 to 6 months, it started feeling like a regular hard on erection. Now that I'm 16 months out from surgery, it doesn't hurt at all fully inflated for more than an hour.)

And I guess the most important...how can I make sure I do not get an infection? (The doctors will do all the pre surgery lab test to make sure you aren't susceptible to infections and you will be treated before hand to make sure. They test your nostrils for MIRSA bacteria and treat it, if it's there. I also took antibiotics 5 days prior to surgery for prevention).

And on a really personal level, will I go back to be an uncontrollable sex addict again? If my dick can get hard whenever I want for however long as I want, and I am living in a candyland of eager asian pussy, will I lose my mind? (It's up to you, but it sounds like you have a sex drive that is in overdrive.). (Good luck with that).

Honestly the ED has probably kept me from spending myself into the poor house banging 3-4 girls a day. (Settle down with one gal that has the same sex drive as you).

That was just a stream of thought and not really questions for the crowd, I guess.

I am sure I have a bunch more, and I am even more sure that each one of those answers is totally subjective to each person, so I don't expect you to answer. Just kinda putting it all out there.

Maybe just so I can see the words on the screen and remember they were mine.

I appreciate you all and I appreciate this group. I look forward to trying to add some value as I take some from you guys over the next months.

Zen

**********I added all my answers to your questions in parentheses next to your questions above. ***********

I hope you move forward with the implant, it's made a big difference in my manhood being able to satisfy my wife and satisfy my desire to have sex also.

Good Luck

[Zenmasterdj]

Hi guys
Just wanted to drop a note and tell everyone about me. I think I will be journaling my "adventure" going forward

Briefly about me.

Started working in strip clubs when I was 19. Started because the money was insane but ended up staying for the lifestyle. Something about making $1500 a night and getting to bang hot girls all the time made me stick around, even though the deception and madness of that lifestyle is rough on a person's psyche.

Not asking for sympathy. Like I said, it was amazing. But just like most things, it comes with a price

I was lost in a world of sex addiction, food addiction and basically gluttony. I was a hedonist in every sense of the word. Thank god I was smart enough to stay away from the drugs or I would probably be dead by now.

The lifestyle was amazing, but again, rough. You think seeing up to 150 hot, naked girls every night would be a dream but after a while you get more turned on by girls with their clothes on.

You think it would be amazing to have sexy young girls come over and touch your cock every few hours in a highly sexually charged work atmosphere, but some nights you just want to do your work and go home.

Like I said, don't feel bad for me. Just listen to my story.

I originally thought the work atmosphere was the reason for my slight ED. Figured i was desensitized from seeing thousands of naked bodies over my almost 20 years in the biz. Thought i had f%*ked my way to not care anymore. Maybe too proud to admit it was a physical problem. I am sure we have all been there.

About ten years ago I quit and opened my own business. Less money. More headaches. But I thought I was doing what was healthy for me. Got married to a beautiful Thai woman.

Had ED problems on our honeymoon (along with the annoying "not being able to cum very easy" problem I also seem to have). Had sex with her maybe 6 times over the next three years. Really shitty of me to make her feel that way but I just thought I was bored of her.

I mean, she would walk around naked and my cock would not get hard. I didn't even wake up in the morning with wood that often. And when We DID have sex, my cock would kinda fade off on me and I would just skip cumming.

I thought maybe it was her but most likely it was me.

Why sugar coat it. It was 100% me.

We got divorced.

Hard to hurt someone I cared about like that, but our relationship had turned into a brother/sister thing without the sexual connection. Again, my fault in the beginning. She just went with it.

So, in search of something that could make me "feel it" again, I sold my businesses (I had two by then) and moved to asia.

Figured I would really feed into my sex addiction. What could go wrong, right?

So I moved to Thailand prepared to have the time of my life living in Pattaya.

But the ED got worse. And the amazing times i had planned turned into occasional fun that worked out when my dick was properly medicated.

In the last 4 years I have tried everything. Every ED drug under the sun. Stem cells (3 times), PRP shots (6 times) and P141 peptides.

All of it worked for a moment in time but faded.

I mean, I have had 3 or 4 women over the last few years that were out of this world hot that actually liked me and wanted to have a relationship with me. But as soon as my dick would start acting up, I would ghost them leaving them wondering why on earth a below average looking 50 year old guy like me would reject a blazing hot 30 something girl like them.

I mean, it really drove a few of them mental.

I passed on all of them and settled for a nice girl who doesn't expect much.

I lay on my back and let her get off a few times a month and she seems content.

I find ways to jerk off when she goes to sleep although the ED makes that hard too.

Now I am finally done trying to struggle through it all and I am going to schedule to have an implant done.

I am still living in asia, but I had a virtual appointment last week with Dr. Jonathan Clavell. Seemed like a nice guy. Seemed passionate. Answered all my questions and deals with people who come in from out of town frequently.

He also seems to have good reviews here.

So I think my plan is to fly into Vegas on April 25th. I have a convention I need to attend. Probably fly over to visit my parents for about ten days and then fly to Houston to get the surgery. Stay in a hotel a few days, see the Doc again and then get on a plane for a 24 hour flight back here.

The 24 hour travel a few days after surgery sounds awful, I know, but he suggested it when I explained my agenda on the trip home.

And of course, I have a million questions

Most of them have already been answered on here, but I still them, gnawing at my brain, know what I mean?

How will my cock feel once it is in there? Like a cock, or like something else? (It feel like a real cock)

Will I really be happy with it, or just content that I have something, instead of basically nothing? (You'll be happy, Erection on Demand)

How much worse than a regular penis will it be? (It is different but not that much different)

How much better? (it can be both) (It is better because you can have an erection anytime you want, you can stay hard and keep having sex as long as you can physical handle it)

My cock is a grower...how uncomfortable will it be to be a shower? And how long will it take to adjust? (I guess it depends on which brand of implant you get. If you get a Titan, I've heard on FrankTalk that they don't shrink much when fully deflated. I have the AMS 700 LGX which has a softer flaccid look, but it still shows but not too much. I have an average 6 inch length, and when it's flaccid, I would say it's around 4 inches, it hasn't caused a problem)

What does it feel like flacid? Or hard? (My AMS 700 feels like a normal flaccid dick when I squeeze all the saline out of the implant tubes, but when you touch it, you can definitely feel the tubes and the tips of the tubes in your glans, but it isn't that bad and you get use to it).

Will I really be able to fuck as much as I want? And...will I want to? (Yes, Yes and Yes. If you have a good sex drive, it will still be the same. If my wife would have sex with me 7 days a week, I would want to, but we have different sex drives so we schedule sex at least twice a week)

How much will it hurt and for how long? (All of us are different and heal different. It took longer for my scrotum and penis to heal and it would hurt when fully inflated after about 30 to 45 minutes. I would say for me, at 4 to 6 months, it started feeling like a regular hard on erection. Now that I'm 16 months out from surgery, it doesn't hurt at all fully inflated for more than an hour.)

And I guess the most important...how can I make sure I do not get an infection? (The doctors will do all the pre surgery lab test to make sure you aren't susceptible to infections and you will be treated before hand to make sure. They test your nostrils for MIRSA bacteria and treat it, if it's there. I also took antibiotics 5 days prior to surgery for prevention).

And on a really personal level, will I go back to be an uncontrollable sex addict again? If my dick can get hard whenever I want for however long as I want, and I am living in a candyland of eager asian pussy, will I lose my mind? (It's up to you, but it sounds like you have a sex drive that is in overdrive.). (Good luck with that).

Honestly the ED has probably kept me from spending myself into the poor house banging 3-4 girls a day. (Settle down with one gal that has the same sex drive as you).

That was just a stream of thought and not really questions for the crowd, I guess.

I am sure I have a bunch more, and I am even more sure that each one of those answers is totally subjective to each person, so I don't expect you to answer. Just kinda putting it all out there.

Maybe just so I can see the words on the screen and remember they were mine.

I appreciate you all and I appreciate this group. I look forward to trying to add some value as I take some from you guys over the next months.

Zen

**********I added all my answers to your questions in parentheses next to your questions above. ***********

I hope you move forward with the implant, it's made a big difference in my manhood being able to satisfy my wife and satisfy my desire to have sex also.

Good Luck

I really appreciate you taking the time to share your information with me. It means a lot.

I have learned a lot here from people like you and I appreciate it.