I found out from my uncle my dad has Ed for nearly 7 years now

[drayan123]

I’m shocked my uncle spoke to me the other day saying how my dad also has ed But he couldn’t do anything about it cause he doesn’t know the options. I’ve got venous leak and I’m 20 I want to talk to him about the implant for myself and also himself how should I approach this . My uncle also said that it had a big implant on he’s mental health which I do notice everyday . My parents don’t even sleep in the same room, should I talk to him about the implant ? Or should I let it be

[ThailandBound]

You are a good son. Such a conversation is a genuine man to man and a genuine heart to heart. If you feel your rapport is this honest and trusting, i say go for it. I had the conversation, in reverse, with both my sons regarding my implant decision. They handled it like the (young) men that are.

I know when i first heard of implants, i was horrified and dismissed it outright. I assumed an inflatable dildo with no sensation. What’s the point? And…surgery on my dick? But thank god for curiosity and youtube. Got me thinking. About possibilities. I’m 10 weeks postop and fully in the game again! Like your dad, it affected me. Confidence waned. Depression. A sense, it’s over.

Another aspect is the relationship he has with your (i assume) mother. If she still has an interest and hasn’t resigned herself that those days are passed, his implant will change her life too.

I’d start the conversation with “dad, i want to discuss something with you that i know is very personal. Can you just suspend any feelings of discomfort for a few minutes and keep an open mind? I have something i’d like to share with you”.

This will create curiosity. Hold him to the open mind agreement. Then tell him what you want to tell him, and that it comes from a place of concern. I’d be prepared to show him a youtube video on the subject. Dr Eid and Dr Clavell have some good “intro to implant videos”. Tell him about this forum and give him the link.

If he’s at all dismissive just say “you promised to keep an open mind”. Here’s a couple of websites. Please have a look.

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink. You can, however, salt his oats and make him thirsty. (success stories here on the forum).

Best wishes.

[Lost Sheep]

It may also be diplomatc (in addition to what thailandbound wrote) to open the discussion with only your own ED, sparing your Dad the knowledge that you are aware of his ED (and how you came by that knowledge). If you want to spare your Uncle the accusation of revealng your Dad's secret, you could just say that you noticed that your Mom and Dad are sleepng separately.

Sometimes a discussion like this is a minefield. We here on the forum do not know anything about your prior discussions with your Dad about such intmate matters as you were growing up or recently.

[Old Guy]

Touchy subject to approach with your dad. I think my choice would be to talk about your ED and how Frank Talk helped you find answers. Keep uncle out of the picture. Hopefully dad visits and learns there are options.

[ThailandBound]

After reading the insightful comments subsequent to my original post, i think i tend to agree with those that say you shouldn’t mention you know about his ED. That’s a subject most men won’t discuss, except here, plus yeah, you’d kind of be throwing your uncle under the bus.

So i agree with those that say you should talk about YOUR ED and what you have learned. He may remain silent about his own, or open up. Who knows? But by approaching this as your issue, not his, his guard won’t come up immediately.

But i would write down in a piece of paper (we’re dads, we still use that stuff), this website and some youtube channels you’ve found helpful.

Most helpful channels;

Dr. Jonathan Clavell
Dr. Paul Perito’s “Meet The Penis” series
Dr. Eid

Then, if he doesn’t open up about his issue just say “could you take a look and tell me what you think?”.

Agsin, we’re dads. We like being asked for our advice and our opinion.

[Anthony]

I had the opposite situation. At around me being 35yo my dad sat me down and told me he had ED and was working to find a solution and that his 20years his senior brother also had dealt with the issue for years. He felt I should know as this may be a DNA thing. He fell ill before finding a solution, but at least made me aware of the issue and at least open to knowing options in case it happened to me.
He just came right out and said “now that I have you alone for a minute, I feel like you should know I have ED and so does my brother. This may be heredity based, so be ready”. No crazy lead ups and explanations.
That said, I have a good relationship with my FiL and he is implanted. We knew because his wife told his daughters because she wanted them to know he was in for surgery. One day I was having a few drinks with him and came right out and asked, “do you have an ipp?” He looked at me befuddled and said, “Damned Susan, she told yall” lol. I proceeded to tell him my issue and he was extremely supportive and gave me solid advise and a pn idea of what to expect. FYI, he did say he is extremely happy with the result and would do it again without hesitation