works with porn/masturbation, but have difficulties with partners

[Rufian]

The idea of an implant sounds great, no more worries, no more anxiety, finally you can have piece of mind, one less thing to worry about.

I'm autistic and because of this, I only had 2 girlfriend in my life when I was 16-17 back in my country, so sex wasn't a thing, besides that, I've always been single. I've been watching porn since I was 18. I'm 39 now. I lost my virginity to an escort at 21, had no issues. Only saw her one time, then didn't see anyone else again.

I'm good looking guy, and throughout my life, I get looks from the females, but I always sucked at talking to them. I'm autistic, so even though I'm high functioning, they can tell I'm different and lose interest.

When I was 27, I started to see escorts. In a way, I made up for lost time. From 21 to 27, I was single, not dating, not having sex, which is absurd lol but I was also barely employed and living with my parents back then.

I saw a few escorts, didn't have issues in the beginning, but eventually I did. I never knew why. Till this day, I don't know. I believe that seeing escorts catapulted my porn addiction, but also at the time when I had my first problem, I was taking propranolol a betablocker for anxiety, I was taking everyday, I believe this played a role.

Since, I went online and started using cialis, then moved to viagra, all these were illegal from india. I would only use the pills when seeing an escort. I would only see escorts maybe once every 3 months, sometimes every 6 months. The pills would work good despite being counterfeit

I've been seeing them since then with no issues. In 2020, I met an older lady and we went on a date, she was very dominant and had high expectations, it put too much pressure on me, when the time came to perform, I couldn't and I had taken a viagra pill, though I believe the pill I used was expired, as it was past the date and maybe didn't contain a good amount, as these pills illegal from indian pharmacy. That with the anxiety screwed me

Since that happened, I decided to see a therapist which has helped in some ways to improve in certain areas. I also got a prescription for legit sildenafil through US pharmacy. I still went to back to see an occasional escort here and there, but the last time, it barely worked, though eventually I got hard and we had sex.

I wonder if the pills are starting to lose their effectiveness. I used them from 28 to 39 now, and though sporadically, like every 3 months

I don't have issue getting hard with porn, which tells me my issue is a combination of

- porn desensitization
- lack of real partners, mostly escorts
- performance anxiety

this fear since has hold me back, as i got older i became more confident, i would approach ladies, more got some numbers here and there, thats how i met that lady, but the fear is always there holding me back, what if I can't perform, it already happened before with that lady

and im almost 40 at any age where im past my prime, my options are reduced, though im good looking, and women seem interested sometimes, i havent been in relationship since forever let alone a sexual relationship never had one

so i think an implant would help me in all aspects, but is hard to let go when i still function somewhat, but the pills are starting to work less and less, especially when anxiety and fear sets in

is literally impossible to get rid of regardless, once is in your mind is always there

the implant may change that as the fear is lifted, you know it will work, so now you're more confident and can approach and have no fear trying to get into a relationship because you know it will work

with the pills there is always a level of fear and anxiety, what if it doesnt work well this time? and this fear and anxiety can make things worse and can be impossible to get rid of because is deep in the psyche, is impossible to fool your mind, especially if you have an intelligent mind

[GoodWood]

It sounds pretty clear from your history that you have some level of erectile dysfunction.

Your erections being better with porn than partners isn’t a sign of porn addiction, it make sense it would be that way. When we look at porn we naturally pick the images and scenarios that are the biggest turn-on. It makes no sense to look at crappy porn that doesn’t turn you on. But real people are unpredictable. Sometimes they look, say, and do really sexy things. Sometimes not. It also makes sense that an escort might work better than a girlfriend. It’s an escorts JOB to turn you on and get you off. The escort would be pretty bad at their job if they didn’t.

So go easy on yourself. It doesn’t sound like there is anything profoundly wrong with you. You have erectile dysfunction. So pursue seeing a urologist and work towards getting better erections.

Regarding the pills, it may be that they were old, counterfeit, weaker. But it’s likely your erectile dysfunction has progressed and gotten worse. That’s a pretty common experience.

If pills are no longer effective consider injection medication. I’m not sure what is available to you in India. But it’s worth pursuing your options.

And if that doesn’t work, getting an implant seems reasonable. I understand you still have some function, but what you describe doesn’t sound like it functions well enough for you. But only you can make that decision.

Best of luck. Stay in touch on the forum here as you move forward.

[Rufian]

It sounds pretty clear from your history that you have some level of erectile dysfunction.

Your erections being better .

im from the usa, i would buy the indian countefeit pills cause back then the generics werent available yet so most people would buy from online Indian pharmacies. Sometimes it would work better than other times. Who knows what else it had, was a gambel

My erection functions with the pill but the last time took a while to get hard i think i wasn't aroused because i had to wait in the car for an hour before this meetup which sucked and i think this put me in a bad mood before it

previous times the pill has worked good

what i want to know what is causing it i wonder if is really a venous leak yet i can still get hard

Or if is simply psychological hence why i have no issues when alone

I believe is both psychological and desensitization from porn but there could be a physical aspect to it

But if truly had a venous leak then I wouldn’t be able stay hard many previous times when i would use the pill I could have sex for like 40 minutes

[curious_ed]

Have you already done a Doppler Ultrasound? That should give insight whether it's venous leak or not

[s7utty]

I wouldn't listen to the fast and quick advice from GoodWood. It appears he's all for guys getting implanted yet he himself doesn't seem to be "bionic" as some like to call it on here. An implant won't magically take away autism, it won't change your interest in porn.

I can attest to the fact that taking a break from the sildenafils and tadalafils will show you that it does indeed work. Stay off of it for a month and see the difference when you take it again. If you have some level of natural function you should love what you have and work with it to the best of your ability. You must be doing something right because we're about the same age, similar level of experiences but you're employed, and having sex.

This…
Literally i see this guy GoodWood posting everywhere that all should go implant. Thats annoying.

[Reggieman]

I agree that you need to see a Uro that specializes in men's sexual health. Consider injections before getting an implant. If you get hard looking at porn then I would think injections would work for you. With injections you get hard and you don't have to be in the mood. You can be anxious and it works anyway.

Most important is seeing the right, trained doctor and get the facts.