Missing the boat

[Old Guy]

Although I wasn't dealing with ED at the time I was 36 when I started dating my wife. Age is only a number.
Another single fellow I know who was implanted last year at 51 has been having the best sex of his life. With today's availability to connect with people to date it should be easier than the old days of going to bars, clubs, etc.
Hang in there man.

[2435tjklAS]

You no longer "physically peaking" is the main problem. Get back there and you'll be all right.

[bencavill974]

Yeah sure.

[Username1]

It takes self work..

These a tendency to make up stories, then accept them as facts.. for me it has been letting go of emotions, anxiety, self doubt, etc.

Don’t judge yourself with others. While they may occur to you one way, the truth may be 180 degrees.. instead focus on yourself, and creating the life you want.

Speaking of creating…how? Just make it up..

Letting Go, Davis Hawkins is one the the books that helped me turn things around..

Just remember, there’s no such things as perfection or nirvana. Emotions go up and down, kinda like Siddhartha, just sit on the river bank and watch it flow…everything changes and evolves. Be in the present moment.

Treat people with respect. I find that goes a Long way in creating relationships.

[Txagq8]

Howdy Asian Global. You & I have chatted on numerous occasions. I don’t think I ever gave you a piece of advice that didn’t turn out to be true, did I?

Let’s see if I can continue my streak.

There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re dealing with the same things, emotions, doubts, second-guessing that every other man who has ever lived deals with. In short, like every other individual you are unique but there’s nothing especially wrong with you.

You’re young. 38 is a kid. I’m 67. I neither feel old nor act old.

Sex is a chunk of being a man but it’s far from the only part.

Keep talking with your therapist. You have two questions you need to find answers to. Until you do, I don’t know that you’re gonna be very happy. That’s the bad news. The good news is they’re not tough questions to answer.

What is it about yourself that you dislike? I went thru a spell of that late teens/early 20s. Residual delayed puberty shit. But until you get past not liking yourself, relationships are gonna be tough. You don’t have to be a flaming narcissist to like the guy you are. But the first step to fixing everything is to truly like who you are. A good start is a friendly, engaging, helpful guy who listens more & talks about himself less. That’s who I wanted to be. So that’s who I became. People instinctively gravitate towards people who like themselves and are comfortable in their own skin.

What is it you truly want from life? Wife? Kids? Fame? Fortune? Don’t set a calendar deadline or schedule. But if you’re looking for a stable long term relationship, put yourself in the right position to find one. Church. Friends. Charitable/Community organization involvement. You don’t find hookups at church, they’re at the bar. You don’t find future wives at the bar, they’re volunteering at the good bank or animal shelter or youth group.

You’re not on a time clock. That Titan means your biological click isn’t gonna quit ticking. Some of us take marriage & kids seriously, so you’d do well to make sure you’re doing it right. Try relaxing a bit. From our conversations you are waaaaaaay too Type-A.

It’ll work out. You will see. Be yourself. Like yourself. Have just a bit of faith. God, believe it or not, has someone walking around right now that’s perfect for you. Patience in finding her is a virtue.