Frustrated

[Barloga73]

I'm 67 years old and I've had ed for over ten years. Its got progressively worse and I'm now at the point where I can't get hard at all. I've tried to discuss this with my doctor, but she cuts me off and doesn't want to hear about it. She sent me to a urologist who didn't even do any examination. The urologist spent about 15 minutes with me and told me my only options were a pump or an implant. I can't use viagra or injections since I take a heart medication. I decided to try a pump. It works to get me hard, but my wife says I'm too big for her so she doesn't want me to use it. I am not mentally ready to go for an implant. Anyway I'm pretty frustrated. Any ideas about what else I could try?

[Spontaneous1]

Too big for her, because of the pump, or what? A pump is not going to make you any bigger than you are unless you really overpump. Do you use a constriction band after pumping up to maintain an erection? If your wife is postmenopausal she probably needs more lubrication, or a vaginally-inserted hormone cream to help with elasticity?

Your PCP is worthless in these situations, aside from ordering a complete blood workup, and you definitely need to find another uro, the one you have is not helping you at all!

Have you had bloodwork done? How's your Testosterone levels?

[Martin6469]

Good advice from Spontaneous. I'll just add that large urology practices will have a specialist in mens' sexual health; find the largest in your area and ask who this would be. Sounds like you might need a new GP too.

[Old Guy]

Chiming in with my agreement on both answers above. Sounds like you do need some new doctors. At your age and being married a good men's sexual health urologist is going to be your best bet.
I was 68, ED for about 12 years. Knew nothing about implants except it would allow me erections again. Pills and injections had failed. Couldn't be happier with my choice.

[Alan810]

My Uro wasn't much help either, except for pills and trimix injections - none of which I was able to take of worked with any degree of consistency. This web site was more help than anything else. It taught me about VEDs and constriction rings which solved my problem after many years of ED. At first, my wife did not like the feel of my erection or the rings (yes 2). I solve the problem of the rings by using a rubber shield. She said the erection did not feel natural and was maybe too hard. It was not any larger than it was in the old days - just more rigid. Solved that with a little less vacuum pumping before applying the rings and a lot more lubrication on her. Everything is good now!

[Lester33]

Agree with all these guys and will just add I went through two urologists in Florida before a really great friend “now deceased” on here helped me. Ended up getting my implant and never looked back despite other health issues. We are close to same age don’t let them dismiss your concerns. The pump just didn’t work for us either after trying it several times.
Hang in there and get some other doctors opinions and help before getting frustrated. I have been in your shoes we have had great sex after seeking the right help.

Dave

[Barloga73]

Thanks for all the advice.
As to the questions asked, I do use a constricting band when I use the pump. I don't think I'm over pumping since I'm certainly no bigger than I used to be and I don't think I'm as hard as I used to be. When I first brought the ED issue up with my doctor, she did do blood work on me. That was back in 2015 and at that time my testosterone level was 369 (low normal). She hasn't tested me again since that time because she told my I couldn't use anything to boost my levels since my father had prostate cancer - she said that using supplemental testosterone would be like pouring gasoline on a fire.
I will take the advice about getting a new doctor - I've gone ahead and set up an appointment with a new one for June. I'll also search around for a different urologist who specializes in ED. According to the physician finder on this site there are no recommended ones in my area.
I also had a talk with my wife. Even though she does use lots of lubrication, she says that intercourse hurts.Her doctor won't let her use hormone replacements because of her history of cancer. She says she is fine without having sex anymore, but she is willing to give it a try again for me.
Thanks again for your responses.

[Spontaneous1]

Barloga,
It sounds like you're on the right path, but just because your father had prostate cancer doesn't necessarily mean you would be in line for it, but it is worth keeping an eye on. If your T levels are low, you can go on TRT, but when/if you do your doctor would be sure to keep a close eye on your PSA numbers for any changes.

As far as your wife and HRT, she doesn't need actual hormone replacement, just a vaginal cream to use periodically, especially when anticipating intercourse.
Have her look into it with her gyno, not her PCP, I think she can explain it to her. I have a friend who won't take HRT because of the risks, but she can use the cream.

You mentioned having blood work done in 2015, that's 8 years ago! Start by having a new blood workup done, including testosterone and Prolactin levels, then proceed from there. It sounds like the VED and constriction band aren't 'your' issues here with vaginal intercourse, but more with the elasticity of your wife's vaginal wall. You need a few doctors visits, on both your parts, to begin sorting things out. From what you said the VED/band combo is working pretty good for you, don't rush into other things while this is having the desired effect.

If you don't already, start taking a good (Adult over 50) multi-vitamin, along with a Magnesium w/Zinc and D3 supplement. Take those two together with your dinner meal, let me know if you notice a change in having nocturnal, or morning wood, erections after a couple weeks.

[Lost Sheep]

A urologist who specializes in men's sexual health is the best recommendation (put forth by several posters here). Injections might be a viable option for you or a suppository. They do not enter your bloodstream like oral medications.

You are lucky your wife is on board with continuing sex. Many women would simply say, "I am done and you, as my husband, should accept my limitation". That she will accomdate you makes her worthy of high praise and respect. Treasuure her. Also, make sure she is satisfied (by whatever means necessary) every time you have sex. (The reward system might increase her entusiasm for sex after a time.)

Do continue to use the pump. Not for sex, but once or twice a day to keep your penile tissues stretched and flushing oxygenated blood through them. Pump up, hold for a minute, release to flaccid state and repeat for 30 minutes. This emulates the nocturnal erections (intact and functioning) men get throughout their lives.