I feel like such a liar… hurts mentally almost as bad as the problem itself

[Baseballfan11]

My mom keeps checking in on me to see how I’m doing as I recently shared with her that I’ve been depressed about my job situation. I had told my parents about this ED issue when I was about 19 or 20… I’m nearly halfway to my 26th birthday now and still struggling. I don’t even know what to say. I’m still pretty financially dependent on them as I just left school to start working a low wage starting job. I’m so ashamed and embarrassed to have this problem and not know what caused it. So I don’t say anything. But it’s making me so uncomfortable around my gf as we are no longer long distance, I pray every night that we either get tired or something comes up so sex doesn’t happen. Hiding it from my parents just kills me inside but if I disclose it I’m worried it’ll drive me to the edge. I already feel I don’t measure up to my brother and I’ve struggled before with behavioral issues. So having this issue too just makes me feel like some sort of science experiment circus freak subhuman. I don’t know man… I hope there’s a medical explanation for this so I can at least feel like I wasn’t just “being weird” and gave myself ED. I know when I occasionally get something of an erection and penetrate my GF (only happens about 35 percent of the time) I feel no real sensation and then it becomes limp after 2 minutes.
Thanks whoever reads this

[silver daddy 1960]

Hey Baseballfan,

Please don't beat yourself up! You are talking amongst guys who know and understand and are here to listen and help. The struggle is real, and I can say I know how you feel. You are not alone...right now, I saw this and am thinking of you and hoping for the best for you! You want to chat PM

[Baseballfan11]

Hey Baseballfan,

Please don't beat yourself up! You are talking amongst guys who know and understand and are here to listen and help. The struggle is real, and I can say I know how you feel. You are not alone...right now, I saw this and am thinking of you and hoping for the best for you! You want to chat PM

Thanks, silver daddy. I’ll message you

[returntocenter]

My mom keeps checking in on me to see how I’m doing as I recently shared with her that I’ve been depressed about my job situation. I had told my parents about this ED issue when I was about 19 or 20… I’m nearly halfway to my 26th birthday now and still struggling. I don’t even know what to say. I’m still pretty financially dependent on them as I just left school to start working a low wage starting job. I’m so ashamed and embarrassed to have this problem and not know what caused it. So I don’t say anything. But it’s making me so uncomfortable around my gf as we are no longer long distance, I pray every night that we either get tired or something comes up so sex doesn’t happen. Hiding it from my parents just kills me inside but if I disclose it I’m worried it’ll drive me to the edge. I already feel I don’t measure up to my brother and I’ve struggled before with behavioral issues. So having this issue too just makes me feel like some sort of science experiment circus freak subhuman. I don’t know man… I hope there’s a medical explanation for this so I can at least feel like I wasn’t just “being weird” and gave myself ED. I know when I occasionally get something of an erection and penetrate my GF (only happens about 35 percent of the time) I feel no real sensation and then it becomes limp after 2 minutes.
Thanks whoever reads this

What exactly worries you about telling your parents? That they won't be supportive?

Personally, telling my parents was a great decision. Sure, it's kind of awkward to discuss initially. But they have been super supportive because they want me to be happy. I don't know all the details surrounding your situation, but in general I would advise being transparent with them. Tell them how much pain it's causing you.

If you haven't already, get a doppler study done. Even if the diagnosis is not 100% reliable, being told you have a VL could point to a physiological cause and legitimize the problem for you and your parents.

As always, if you need to talk just PM me man.

[Baseballfan11]

My mom keeps checking in on me to see how I’m doing as I recently shared with her that I’ve been depressed about my job situation. I had told my parents about this ED issue when I was about 19 or 20… I’m nearly halfway to my 26th birthday now and still struggling. I don’t even know what to say. I’m still pretty financially dependent on them as I just left school to start working a low wage starting job. I’m so ashamed and embarrassed to have this problem and not know what caused it. So I don’t say anything. But it’s making me so uncomfortable around my gf as we are no longer long distance, I pray every night that we either get tired or something comes up so sex doesn’t happen. Hiding it from my parents just kills me inside but if I disclose it I’m worried it’ll drive me to the edge. I already feel I don’t measure up to my brother and I’ve struggled before with behavioral issues. So having this issue too just makes me feel like some sort of science experiment circus freak subhuman. I don’t know man… I hope there’s a medical explanation for this so I can at least feel like I wasn’t just “being weird” and gave myself ED. I know when I occasionally get something of an erection and penetrate my GF (only happens about 35 percent of the time) I feel no real sensation and then it becomes limp after 2 minutes.
Thanks whoever reads this

What exactly worries you about telling your parents? That they won't be supportive?

Personally, telling my parents was a great decision. Sure, it's kind of awkward to discuss initially. But they have been super supportive because they want me to be happy. I don't know all the details surrounding your situation, but in general I would advise being transparent with them. Tell them how much pain it's causing you.

If you haven't already, get a doppler study done. Even if the diagnosis is not 100% reliable, being told you have a VL could point to a physiological cause and legitimize the problem for you and your parents.

As always, if you need to talk just PM me man.

Thanks man. I will take you up on that in just a bit here. I feel like a freak of nature… if I tell my parents I see it as just another burden. They are both financially well off, but I cringe thinking of all the money they’ve spent on me over the years. Private school from middle school through college. Various therapists and psychiatrists because of ADHD/impulsivity issues. I have some form of OCD or autism or who knows what else. I’m a good guy but I feel so defective with all of my fucking issues. Suffering silently and risking relationships and happiness almost seems preferable to adding to my parents’ costs. Even though I know they’d love me and do anything for me. I went to Dr Lipschultz in Houston back when I was 19 or 20. He put some cream or something on me and one of the nurses scanned me with some wand thing. He said my erection looked normal and chuckled saying I was totally fine, all in my head. I don’t recall any measurements though. And although it looked like I got noticeably bigger, it didn’t have that blood rushing hard feeling I remember when I actually got normal erections at a young age. I admire your courage in telling your folks