Implant and No Sex Wife

[tomcat]

I'm writing to find out what other men have decided on getting an implant with a wife that is no longer interested in sex. I recently had an in-person and video appointment with a urology implant surgeon to get an implant, and I'm very interested in following thru with the surgery. After a prostatectomy for cancer and radiation, I don't ejaculate, but I still love the incredible orgasms from masturbation. Pills and shots are not what I like, or the side effects of both. Are there men living in the same situation as me who had implant surgery? How did you discuss this with your wife and have her agree to the surgery?

After receiving several responses to my post, I felt I needed to share more about my situation. I've been married to my seven year younger wife for 43 years. She's a retired registered nurse/nursing director. Catholic raised and adhered to the medicine side for her medical direction. We get along well with one daughter and share many interests. She has helped me thru surgery for prostate cancer with radiation and lumbar back fusion. For me, she is a don't ask, don't tell with me. So, I can travel alone on vacations and cruises without her and not speak about my journey. One of the responders said with an implant that a "dog will hunt," without disclosing to her, I'd done that in several sexual encounters. Another responder mentioned masturbation; we've both masturbated separately in our younger years. I still enjoy masturbation. Right now, I'm going to be discussing my ED, leaving me not whole with her, and I would like to have the implant for that reason to be back to normal. I don't think she would want a divorce unless you visually caught me having sex with someone.

[dg_moore]

My wife lost interest long before I got my implant. I went ahead, and by the time I was healed from the surgery my libido was gone - zero, zip, nada. So my wife and I are in the same boat: I guess we could if we wanted to, but neitner of us does. It's been nearly 15 years now and I don't expect anything to change.

[Hrc714]

My wife only realized she had lost interest in sex after I was implanted. We used the device one time and she closed shop. After 3 years, the implant failed and I pondered not getting a replacement. After talking with Dr, I went forward with surgery. The replacement left me much shorter so perhaps I can convince her to try again, but chances are slim.

[rdnkbiker]

my wife and i are in the same boat as you...... my wife had medical issues that killed her libido long before i got my implant.......she has always supported me and i just told her i didnt feel complete not having erections anymore and when i talked with my URO we discussed a implant and i felt really good about doing it and she supported me that was 6 years ago and now on july 10th monday im getting a revison....... this one stoped working a few months ago and she is supporting that.....i think we just need to be upfront and say what makes us men ........not sure this will help you but worked for me
jim

[2435tjklAS]

I want to share my advice I gave to someone else here in PMs about a similar situation with a wife who hasn't had sex in years:

Something I thought of today. A question I wanted to ask you -

Are you aware of the fact that cheating on your wife is totally and completely a fairly easy and do-able and realistically a totally fun choice? lol, like, really...that's my advice. I have used the cheating strategy throughout my life in a wide variety of different situations, and let me tell you, it's incredibly effective.

You heard about the Magnus Carlsen chess cheating scandal? And the poker cheating one with that Robbi Jade Lew chick? There's even a fishing tournament one now. Cheating seems to be en vogue these days.

Essentially everyone cheats in some way. Some people realize that and do it also. Why not?

Not saying to do it today. But worth pondering.

[Old Guy]

My wife still likes sex, just not as often as me. When she was having a lot of stress at work and with her mom's health issues it went weeks without. In those times I find a good masturbation device is a wonderful way to release my sexual energy. The wife is aware I use them, sometimes we incorporate them into our lovemaking. She has toys too.

[navy6587]

Have told this before on several threads (I think...too much effort to research) and here are some bullets to ponder:
--self-diagnosed with ED at age 50 (1997); no medical surgeries or cancer involved.
--Urologist prescribed pills; wife needs 'spontaneous' love-making; I orgasm and ejaculate just fine.
--Intercourse becomes fewer and far between; wife beginning menopause w/drying vaginal juices.
--My late teen/ pre-marriage gay encounters resurface; more time between sex; I'm still horny.
--2017/ 2018 I find FT and begin to research implants/ Virginia Urology surgeons w/ experience.
--Mid 2018, I'm reluctant to commit; discuss with wife who says "Why do you need it? Don't think we'll go back to having sex as much as when we were first married." She attends 1st discussion w/surgeon and is 'embarrassed'.
--I am implanted on 11/8/2019; absolutely horrific experience!!! Fire 2nd surgeon and Virginia Uro!
--Intercourse between then and now count between 2 and 3 hands with wife.
--Experiences other than my wife (i.e. solo, etc.) as often as situation arises!
--FULL Disclosure: I probably didn't need the implant due to my ability to raise and maintain an erection throughout intercourse. Self-diagnosis result: ED was/ is emotional/ in my head.
--Don't regret having the Coloplast Titan the past 5 years; will never have a revision!

So, I'm sure that all you psychs out there, who like to play one on line or may actually be one, will say that I didn't need it and got implanted for all the wrong reasons. I don't care what you think. Someone asked...I answered!

[Mark1974]

One poster who had both an IPP (Titan) and a malleable (Tactra) said that the most natural feel was the malleable while wearing a cock-ring. However, he said that he took a big hit in girth. And you have to live with permanent wood

[Witheringhog]

If you and your wife are both healthy and she refuses to have sex with you then you dont have a wife. Leave her. My wife pulled this bs and i told her that “ I didnt get married to have a sister “

There is no excuse. If i were you i would stop doing everything, no paying the bills, no mowing the yard etc…. Men dont ask for much, sex and piece.

I have had several friends leave marriages over the same issue… odd thing is, every single time when the wife knew the man was serious about leaving over it , the wife started having sex all the time. Then months later she would stop again, kinda 50/50 from there…. Whether the husband stays.

Without a real medical issue, lack of sex is a deal breaker, same with getting obese.

[Hillywilly]

If you and your wife are both healthy and she refuses to have sex with you then you dont have a wife. Leave her. My wife pulled this bs and i told her that “ I didnt get married to have a sister “

There is no excuse. If i were you i would stop doing everything, no paying the bills, no mowing the yard etc…. Men dont ask for much, sex and piece.

I have had several friends leave marriages over the same issue… odd thing is, every single time when the wife knew the man was serious about leaving over it , the wife started having sex all the time. Then months later she would stop again, kinda 50/50 from there…. Whether the husband stays.

Without a real medical issue, lack of sex is a deal breaker, same with getting obese.

100% agree with witheringhog this chick is not your wife she is your girlfriend in the platonic sense.leave her if you can or at the very least cheat on her.