31 year old's New Member - Titan with Dr. Clavell - Journal

[ThailandBound]

Best wishes amigo. I know how you feel about actually setting a date. “shit’s getting real now!”. Those days between decision day, which you have accomplished, and the surgery date, are actually some of the hardest.

It’s like my earliest skydiving days in college. On the way up, while still in the plane, i’d struggle with the thought “I’m almost there, but not YET! I could back out if i wanted to” (i never did).

Took those early leaps, got comfortable skydiving, and enjoyed the thrills i’d never have experienced had i not taken the leap.

The day you enter the surgery center, you’re on the step of the jump-plane, facing the unknown, knowing that only by taking the leap will you ever get to the “other side” of ED.

Clavell did mine. 6 months (almost) postop. Glad i took the leap!

[personfromon]

Thanks guys. I'm very glad I'm going with Dr. Clavell (though I'm sure all of the other high volume surgeons are just as capable). He fits the personality of what I'm looking for in a surgeon that does this type of surgery. Empathetic but straight to the point, and clearly very knowledgable in his craft.

SwissTalk's reply in this thread reminded me of a time I had to turn down an "opportunity" one night. I'm a drummer in a band (local band, nothing crazy) and I tend to get female attention and have opportunities present themselves to me by the end of the night. This one particular night, I was playing a show and I noticed in the audience, these 2 girls dancing along to our music and one make very clear eye contact with me. She did this throughout the night (but we were playing a 4-hour show, so they both eventually left the dancefloor). After the show, I walked around the bar talking to people and noticed the two girls sitting on a bench outside the bar. I went out to greet them and as soon as they saw me, they got very excited and jumped up and wrapped their arms around me. I was getting showered in compliments and then one girl grabs my face and starts making out with me, while the other girl is still hugging me. Then I turn my face to the other girl and she also starts to make out with me, more gently than the other girl who was more aggressive. The other girl goes, "well now I'm jealous! Don't take him from me!" And then they both start to rub their hands over my pants right on top of my dick. Then they ask, "do you have an hour to come back with us to our hotel? Twenty minutes?" This might sound like a scene out of a movie, but I couldn't make this shit up.

And you guys can already probably guess the rest of this story. I made up an excuse and said, "Sorry, I have to pack up my drums and it's going to take me a while." They pleaded but I kept saying I couldn't (even though I could have had my bandmate pack up for me, he would have understood), so they got frustrated and eventually called their Uber and left. Why did I say that to them? Well, it's bad enough disappointing one girl, I didn't need to disappoint two in one night! I also liked the idea that they have this positive/sexy image of me in their heads, and I especially didn't want to ruin their perception with a failed night in bed.

Here's to hoping more opportunities like that present themselves in the future and I have a working dick to handle it!

I believe it dude, the amount of pussy I've turned down the past ~8 or so years is enough to put me in the loony bin. I'm jealous you've made the decision to go ahead with it and have your appointment booked. Good luck with it all!

[New_Member]

T minus 1 day!

Oh man. I really can't believe the surgery is tomorrow. I'm spending the 4th of July alone (intentionally, I want to tidy my place up, avoid drinking, and just be mentally ready before going in tomorrow morning). I'm scheduled for 2nd on Dr. Clavell's docket of surgery patients. I'm trying to think of any last minute questions I might have for him before surgery, but I'm not really finding any. This forum + his videos + previous consultation has really prepared me with practically everything I need to know at this stage. Now it's only the countdown to surgery and recovery. Though I wouldn't mind a time travel machine to fast forward the next few months.

I had a fun reminder why I'm doing this surgery when I spent the entire weekend in a romantic Airbnb getaway with a girl and could hardly get hard enough for penetration each time. She still got off by rubbing herself against me, and I was left with blue balls because I couldn't stay hard in any position. Almost everything in this vacation was perfect, the romantic dinners, the activities, the conversations, except of course the sex. The only saving grace was knowing that in only a few days I'd be getting a working dick so I can have future getaways like that without any performance anxiety.

Mentally, I'm ready! Scared, but ready.

[New_Member]

Had my surgery today!

It's done and I'm back home from the hospital. Today was ROUGH. Compared to the posts I read from Dr. Clavell patients who had it relatively easy the day of surgery, I would say mine was pretty brutal. There were a number of reasons for that (none of which were in Dr. Clavell's control). But man, did today SUCK. I'm just glad to be sitting back home in my apartment.

I reported into the hospital at 6:30 AM. Everything went smoothly leading up to the surgery, and I barely remember being rolled into the operating room for surgery, which I think took place around 8:45 AM. Around 11:30 AM, I wake up and I start feeling a storm of pain. I start groaning and the nurse asks me if I need anything, and I say please, give me any painkillers you have! I was at about an 8-9 at that point. She quickly shoots morphine into my IV. I'm still in burning pain at that point, and just need to wait until it passes. My urethra is burning and it feels like I have to pee, but the nurse tells me that I don't actually need to pee, it's just the sensation you're feeling (which was correct). I wait it out and they roll me down to a lower floor where the post-op patients recover.

At this point, the pain has subsided and feels more manageable.I take a look at my dick for the first time out of curiosity to see what the wrapped up mummy is looking like. Swollen shaft! Very wide, at the least the portion that's sticking out of the bandage. Glans is looking bruised and beat up. I feel very drowsy and want to go back to sleep, but my nurse comes in and urgently starts pushing me to drink water so I can get myself to pee. Now this is where it all starts to go downhill. Some context before I go further: I have PMMA filler inside my penis which I think has compressed and narrowed my urethra, and sometimes makes it challenging to pee when I'm engorged. Add to that a semi-inflated penis, anesthesia, and painkillers - and it becomes almost impossible to pee. I'm also pee-shy in general, and when I get stressed or feel pressured, I'm a lot less likely to be able to pee.

I drank the water they gave and apple juice. Nothing, no feeling like I needed to pee. I try standing up and holding on to the bed as I try to pee into the handheld urinal. Nothing. I stood like that for maybe 10+ minutes trying to get it out. Suddenly, I feel a huge wave of nausea come over me. I sit down on the bed and look for the lowest damage area to puke since I didn't have a bag. I choose an empty spot in the room and just let it all fly (which is all clear since there's nothing in my system).

It's past 3 PM at this point and the nurse is clearly frustrated that I'm not peeing and still in the hospital. I try downing more drinks, water, food and still nothing is happening. I've way over-stayed my welcome at the hospital but I'm not allowed to leave until I empty my bladder. She brings up that a catheter is likely now and I feel a dread in my head because the last thing I want is more burning pain in my urethra. I go to the bathroom and sit there (with the handheld urinal) for 30+ minutes and nothing is coming out. Again, I feel a wave of nausea come over me and I empty my guts out into the sink. Back in my room, she runs a bladder scan to see how full my bladder is. She texts Dr. Clavell and he says he'd like my bladder to be more full before using the catheter. We try filling me up with more water and still - nothing. I feel frustrated to tears as all I want to do is pee (without using the catheter) and get back home.

Finally, it's 6 PM and there's no patients left on the floor besides me, and she's basically the only nurse on duty. It's time for the catheter. She lubes it up, and says I can't take any more painkillers at this point since I've already had so much, and down it goes. I was yelling out and cussing in pain. I usually have a pretty high pain tolerance, but I can say that was the 2nd worst amount of pain I felt today. The winner for worst amount? When the catheter was being pulled out. Yikes!

Finally ended up leaving the hospital afterwards and getting home around 6:30 PM. I am able to pee now, however, I feel a lot of burning urethra pain and the pee comes out in a small stream, which I assume is because my urethra is being so compressed by the inflated implants. I texted Dr. Clavell this and he said we'll talk tomorrow so I guess we'll see what happens then. He also mentioned that my surgery went very well, and the reason the nerve blocker might not be working as well is because the PMMA filler in my dick was making it difficult to administer. I'm not in too much pain now besides a soreness in my abdomen and dull pain in my groin and scrotum, which I would probably put at a 3. Hoping the rest of my recovery is a lot smoother than today was. Everything feels like a blessing once I went through that!

[Jage64]

Man, sorry to hear of your terrible day. ICE ICE ICE.

I had read a few reports that they don't let you leave until you pee, so the morning of my surgery I drank a lot of water. When they asked me if I needed to use the restroom prior to the surgery, I said "nope, I'm all good", but frankly I could have peed then if I wanted to, but I wanted to 'save' it as my ticket outta there. The nurses were surprised that I almost filled up the handheld urinal about 20 minutes after surgery.

Super bummer about the nerve block not working for you, but now what's done is done. You've been through the worst and it's nothing but healing and getting better every hour from this point forward. The challenge will now be to not make judgments about what you have until you're done healing, there will be alot of changes still to come.

[New_Member]

Man, sorry to hear of your terrible day. ICE ICE ICE.

I had read a few reports that they don't let you leave until you pee, so the morning of my surgery I drank a lot of water. When they asked me if I needed to use the restroom prior to the surgery, I said "nope, I'm all good", but frankly I could have peed then if I wanted to, but I wanted to 'save' it as my ticket outta there. The nurses were surprised that I almost filled up the handheld urinal about 20 minutes after surgery.

Super bummer about the nerve block not working for you, but now what's done is done. You've been through the worst and it's nothing but healing and getting better every hour from this point forward. The challenge will now be to not make judgments about what you have until you're done healing, there will be alot of changes still to come.

Thanks man, I appreciate the support. I WISH I had the foresight to do what you did. I avoided all water and food before midnight per their instructions so I went into the hospital dehydrated. Then, right before I was rolled into surgery, the nurses pressured me to pee even though I didn't really have to go. They said "Dr. Clavell likes when his patients have completely empty bladders before surgery" so I went and peed whatever was left. Next time, now I know for sure that I'm going to have a bladder ready to go when I wake up from surgery. I haven't been icing at all so I definitely will start that now.

Doing better than yesterday for sure. Dick is very sore (it sort of feels like when you have an erection from cialis/viagra for too long, except this erection ain't going down for at least another 4 weeks). Sleeping was awkward but I was too exhausted from the day to really complain. Dr. Clavell called me this morning and gave me the update on how my surgery went. He said it went very well and that my case was quite easy, and the PMMA didn't cause any issues getting in to put in the implant. He implanted a 22cm one touch (and we had agreed on using the Touch before surgery). He checked with me what my pain levels were and mentioned that my burning pain with the urethra will only continue to improve as I pee more often. He's not concerned about my pain levels since I was only at a 3-4 for penis pain, and only have taken a few Tylenols since last night. Overall, a success! I really appreciated him calling me since I did have concerns and it's not something I have ever had from doctors I've done surgery with in the past.

I'm back at my office desk (I work from home) and not finding it too challenging so far. I bought one of those cushiony pads I saw recommended here for my office chair. It feels strange working on my computer while having a rock hard boner sticking out and no underwear on.

[Jage64]

I followed ThailandBounds’s recovery pretty closely because his seemed to be very easy, and I’m convinced that ice is a HUGE benefit. I iced almost nonstop for the first 4-5 days. I made a dick sandwich with a long bag from the tip to the taint on the bottom side, and a shorter bag from the tip to my pubis on the top side and a velcro strap around it all.

I never had anything more than the Tylenol/Advil alternating dose every 3 hours for a day or two. My pain was never more than a 1-2.

Good to hear you’re at work, I too work from home and was back at it in a couple days.

[nerdynerd]

Congratulations! I was offered the 7/5 slot that opened up but it was too short notice - I have to be off a certain medication for two weeks before surgery. Mine is scheduled for late September.
Please tell me which cushion you are using on your office chair.

[New_Member]

Congratulations! I was offered the 7/5 slot that opened up but it was too short notice - I have to be off a certain medication for two weeks before surgery. Mine is scheduled for late September.
Please tell me which cushion you are using on your office chair.

I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post links here, but search "Donut Pillow Hemorrhoid Tailbone Cushion" on Amazon

Day 3

The worst part is behind me, now it's mostly the waiting game. I still feel pain (it's difficult to fall sleep, and I'm waking up early from a dull throbbing pain in my dick) but it's not unbearable. I took my bandages off yesterday and I was pretty scared at what I was going to see, or if it was going to hurt. Absolutely no pain besides the hairs being yanked out by the sticky adhesive from the bandages lol. And there it was in all its glory, my dick inflated, sticking out at exactly 4 o clock. This was reassuring, because I was worried I'd be sticking out at 3 o clock and struggle to hide my dick under clothes. My dick doesn't look like it's lost much size at all, and even if it did, I wouldn't be worried about it. It's probably reacting to chronic pain by retracting inside itself as it heals. I'm sure once I start cycling and there isn't anymore pain that it will regain its natural size. I wasn't doing this surgery for size anyways, just to regain a functioning tool. It'd sure be awesome to gain length over my pre-op length though.

Thoughts at this point, I'm still counting down every day, but at least it's not like when I was counting down every minute in the beginning. That was a really tough first 2 days post-op. I notice that when I'm getting natural engorgement on top of the inflation, that the throbbing pain is a lot worse so I'm trying to avoid sexual thoughts or acts that would increase engorgement. My body reacts interestingly to the inflated hardness, like it thinks it's naturally hard so my pelvic floor (or the PC muscle) tightens and tries to get harder. Similar to how it would act when I'm trying to get hard in a sexual context. Even at this partially inflated amount (which I hear is 65% but I'm not sure how accurate that number is) it's harder than how hard I would get during sex and would be more than enough for penetration. My body really thinks that it's hard in the morning and I'm waking up in pain due to "morning wood". I'm taking Ketorolac every 6 hours for pain now which has been working well, just not the best for lasting throughout the entire night.

My ballsack is not too swollen and looks very natural, you can't tell there's an implant in there at the moment. I grazed a finger against the pump just to see how it feels and it's hard as a rock in there. I'm sure over time it will soften up. I tried to put myself in the perspective of a girl who is grabbing my dick and balls and feels it, what she might think. I don't think women are very in tune with men's privates as much as we are, so I wouldn't expect her to ask any questions. If she did, I probably would casually pass it off as having to do surgery for something unrelated to sex, which I doubt would get any follow-up questions.

Movin' along!

[Old Guy]

Those first few days are terrible, huh? That was how I was. Glad I was able to sleep most of the first 3 days.
I've always been jealous of the guys who dance through this with little or no pain.
Hope your days get better soon.