Surgery booked but I will hide It to girlfriend

[Journeyman]

If she a girl you're serious about and thinking about having a future with ... I think I'd tell her . It's gonna be hard to conceal the implant over time, and shes gonna figure out something is different. Have you ever talked about an implant with her before? If you've been having trouble getting an erection when having sex with her and then 4 - 6 weeks later you're Superman. She'll definitely know . Making excuses for a month .... month and a half will be difficult. She may think your cheating on her. Tough spot for sure but I think she'll feel closer to you sharing this private and personal, intimate detail about yourself.

[cobylinks]

Just tell her you had a testicular torsion injury
and thats why you have a cut on your scrotum.
It is a common injury for basketball players and people who use ladders a lot.
Basically one your testicles tied itself into a knot and had to be fix'd asap to avoid serious damage.
Healing time is about the same.

[Witheringhog]

Surgery booked for August 11th.
I did not communicate my decision to my girlfriend.
I won't tell her that I'm leaving to have a penile prosthesis implanted.
We don't live together and i hope i can hide it from her for a while.
but I'll have to justify my absence and subsequent sexual inactivity with another type of surgery on the lower parts.

Any idea what i could say? prostate, venous ligation...?
I know it would be better to tell the truth, but at the moment I don't feel like it. maybe later, when and if I'm better.
I accept suggestions

Just tell her your have a venous leak getting repaired, the fix is permanent and helps with erection quality. Recovery is 4-6 weeks. Your telling the truth at that point and hopefully better erection quality is good for her too?

[Musson]

The Truth will set you Free

[Mark1974]

I would go with tell her beforehand.

I remember reading the story of an Italian physician who decided to wait and tell his girlfriend about it after the surgery. Crazy enough she was also a physician. Neither one was in urology

Apparently they had had an oral sex relationship because he couldn't penetrate. He felt emasculated about the situation and decided to get the implant. I think I remember he revealed it to her as some kind of present, but she was horrified.

He insisted on having it removed despite doctor advice. She couldn't accept him without the implant either and left him.

Five years later he went back to have another one installed, but there was too much scar tissue. Nothing could be done.

I think the story was from the 80's or early 90's. I read it in a medical journal online. Rather dark.

OK it had been a couple of years since I read the story and my imagination added some elements, but unbelievably I found this in just a few minutes with Google

[i]Psycho-emotional conditions
We implanted a Coloplast Titan on a 53 years old Patient, MD, surgeon by profession: the patient din not have rigid erections due to CVOD not responsive at PDE5i. He had been in a relationship with a hospital colleague for 10 years without having any penetrative sex. He specifically requested an IPP. He had not informed his partner of his decision. A Coloplast Titan I was implanted through penoscrotal incision. He was dismissed the next day without any postoperative complications. After 1 month the IPP was working well. The patient could have his first penetrative intercourse.

After 2 months, the patient referred that his partner's reaction was completely negative. She was really upset and offended by his "prosthetic" decision. She told him that she had been fully satisfied with their long non-penetrative sexual relation. She had threatened to leave him.

We suggested the patient to contact a psychologist, but he was fully determined and requested the explant. His reasoning was determined: "I'd rather have a woman without an implant than an implant and the risk of not finding another partner". After 5 years he contacted us in order to have a new prosthesis, but the difficulties linked with the cavernosal fibrosis made him to change the program[/i]

[Journeyman]

I'm in the tell the truth camp . Once you tell one lie , they start stacking up . Eventually she'll find out and will know that you will lie to her if you think it's in your best interest. Distrust and doubt may creep into her thoughts on other issues you two may have . If she can't except you having an implant, then she's not worth wasting anymore time on . It would be better to have that answer now and move on if you have to .

[Mark1974]

A lot of women have romantic-magical ideas about sex. And as another forum member has mentioned most of them have no clue about erections or how the male anatomy works. I remember reading on one forum where some of the women were distressed that their husband couldn't perform after prostate removal, saying their husbands weren't trying hard enough. One woman said that her husband's limp penis reminded her of a child and disgusted her.


I used to care about their opinions and I have to confess I still do to some degree, but not nearly so much as I used to.

I think the doctor's biggest mistake was not leaving his girlfriend when she rejected his implant. He was a coward. I don't want to be too hard on him, but knowing the consequences of removing the implant and then doing it just to hold on to another human being seems weak to me.

There maybe something to what you wrote, because she was happy having him in a lesbian style relationship rather than with the ability to penetrate

[advaita]

Just tell her you are having hernia surgery

Exactly what I said !

[frank66665]

if this story of this doctor is true, think what kind of doctor he was, he didn't even know that removing the implant meant committing suicide, but condemned to live

[Thisworld]

The point is.. if you lie at her at first then how are you going to justify the lie when you will tell her the truth ?