Lost Sheep wrote:Antonio1010 wrote:So I set the surgery for November 15th with Dr. Clavell. I Paid $200 deposit as well. I told my wife today that i m proceeding with this. She is not educated when comes to this. I just told her they will place a pump so that I can pump and be ready any time as long as you like. I dint tell her that this is a 3 piece implant nor about the cylinder...She said that she is not really happy with my decision and she is fine with our current sex life. For the record I can achieve erections for penetration and most of the times are great erection where i can go two rounds with the help of meds. However, my erections aren't up to my standards or what used to be 12 months ago. Lately I m experiencing occasional ed even after I take meds...also I ejaculate to fast at times so she won't get to finish but she always enjoys our time together.
she said that she doesn't want me to pound her like that and rather to have less but natural interactions. We been married for 23 years with 5 childrens. At this point I m not sure what to do. I love the idea to get a bionic dick but at the same time I don't want mess up our marriage. Maybe she is afraid that I will become a sex addic and go with other girls too?
Thanks for lessening
You have 23 years invested in each other. If she does not understand how important this is to you, I have to ask you if you think you have talked to her about your feelings.
Most women are incredibly supportive if they feel loved, valued, trusted, respected and safe. How does your wife feel? Is she secure in your relationship? Does she understand what an implant is and does? Does she think your desire for sex will increase or change in character (become too energetic for her comfort?
Most men who have the ability to have penetrative sex (especially more than one round) do not really want an implant. There is risk of losing what you are able to do currently. (I note that you said your sexual abilities have deteriorated in 12 months...Why? Is there something that happened..injury? disease? something that you should have a sexual health specialist check out before you take the drastic step of an implant?)
I will note that most women are OK with not having an orgasm every time their man does. Just knowing their presence and ministrations have produced an erection in their man (and an orgasm) is enough. Losing that ability to produce a spontaneous erection in their man can be devastating to a loving wife. A hydraulic/mechanical erection just is not the same to women such as these.
edited to add:
After reading the two posts after mine, I am prompted to add these thoughts:
If your wife thinks you are doing this as some form of self-aggrandizement, she may resent it.
Definitely get your wife "on board" with the operation. If she is not completely with you, you risk her being against you (even if only in her subconscious, which will color your relationship forever). Invest in her understanding your "need" for this unnecessary improvement in yourself.
If (as pointed out in the two posts after mine) you can still have penetrative sex often (even with pills or other aids) you really do not need an implant. If you are doing this only to make yourself a "super-stud", you are doing it for the wrong reason. (This is a judgement, of course.) Fixing a destroyed self-esteem is one thing. Boosting an ego is entirely different, and unnecessarily risky.
I will recommend you tell your wife that you value her input and respect her feelings and want her to understand your feelings about this. Then tell her everything. This will be difficult if you are not accustomed to sharing your innermost feelings and vulnerabilities with her. Perhaps a marriage counselor might help get the communication started. This does not suggest there is a weakness in your marriage, but could make an already strong marriage stronger. Go to the counselor alone for a first visit and decide for yourself before mentioning it to her if you like.
I have more marital advice if you want. Here are my qualifications to give it. "Having successfully avoided the institution of marriage for half a century I feel qualified to give unbiased advice on the matter to anyone, as I have not developed any prejudices."
Or you might disallow my viewpoint by (an unnamed comedian commenting on Catholic Priests giving marital advice) "You don't play the game, you don't make the rules!"
Or by quoting W.C. Fields, "Marriage is a fine institution. But who wants to live in an institution?"
