New Guy

[jra1899]

Good Morning Everyone,

I've been wanting to post for a while, not sure why I haven't but here I am. I'm a 42 year old male who has had ED issues his whole life. I've had varying degrees of erections my whole life, never morning wood, or at least I can't remember the last time. This inability has been a secret to anyone close to me. I have a good job, I'm in good shape, no major health problems and I've never had any trouble meeting women. The trouble comes when the intimacy starts. I've been on hundreds of dates, and hooked up with a lot of them. Unfortunately, I don't normally perform well. My friends and family see me as a "playboy" and because of this they think I will never settle down. When in fact, I'm not settling down because of fear of rejection, and because a lot of girls think it's their fault which obviously causes issues. This has been a secret my whole life, but lately the stress and weight of it (amongst other things) has really brought me down. My primary care physician hasn't done much about it, just referrals to urologists who besides prescribing ED pills (usually not much success) don't seem to put much into it either. I've kind of just learned to live with it, yet still able to function at a high level ie have fun with friends, family, and not let it affect work. As I'm getting older though, I guess I'm realizing that the time to naturally get an erection is running out. The thought of putting a pump in is terrifying to me, holding out hope that a "miracle" can still happen.

I guess what I'm asking is, has anyone had similar issues, success stories? Anyone know of a psychotherapist or doctor in the Boston area that you've had success with? That actually seems to care? Thanks to all in advance, just writing this was a great way to get some stress off my chest.

[Pumpkinman]

You should try to talk to an urologist about trying injections. It sounds like you're a good candidate for them if ED pills aren't working or don't work for you. Lots of valuable information on this site to help.

[GoodWood]

Welcome to FrankTalk. I’m certain you will find a lot of help here.

There is good news and bad news. The bad news is that there is no “miracle” that you are hoping for.

The good news is that you CAN have dependable erections and it doesn’t need to get in the way of your relationships.

Although seeing a psychotherapist is a great idea for almost everyone. The history you describe points to a physical issue for a great deal of your ED. The fact that you don’t have morning wood as a relatively young man combined with lifelong subpar erections points towards a physical cause. It doesn’t sound like it’s all in your head. So see a therapist but don’t expect that there will be a breakthrough that will fix your ED.

You need to find a different urologist. One who specializes in Mens sexual health. Many urologist practices are dealing with enlarged prostates and incontinence, not sexual health. Hopefully there are other Boston area guys here who will share recommendations.

Search the different forum categories for the word Boston and see what turns up.

The general progression of treatment is pills, shots, implants. A VED (vacuum) with a constriction ring can also be an option. A decent cockring from a good sex shop can help a lot too.

So it’s time to get to work. Find a different doc. Buy a few cockrings. Try all the different ED pills (Viagra, Levitra , Cialis, Stendra. They work better or worse for different guys. If shots are an option don’t be freaked out by it. I’ve used shots for years. It feels like a mosquito bite honestly. And it can be done discreetly. And finally implants are solution that lots of guys are happy with. When shots stop working for me I will be first in line for an implant.

You’ll hear discussion of Doppler tests, ultrasound tests and the like. They can help determine whether the problem is low blood flow into the penis, venous leak of blow out of the penis, some combination, or the tests might be vague and not pickup the issue. Don’t worry about any of that. The treatment is exactly the same no matter what the tests show. Pills/shots/implant/VED.

Let us know what you find along the way. A lot of us have been in your shoes before and can share what worked for us. For me it’s daily cialis (better erections and more morning wood) Viagra added to that when I expect to have sex, a decent cockring (slows venous leak, keeps more blood in the penis) and a shot when I want to fuck. It works well.

[bldoink]

Welcome to the forum. I wish you success in your search for a satisfactory solution. You've already been given good advice IMHO.

[Old Guy]

Welcome to the forum. I have to agree with GoodWood. There are no miracles to fix ED.
Look up a urologist that specializes in Men's Sexual Health. Bring a list of questions, don't be afraid to ask anything because they have heard it numerous times. ED is nothing to be embarrassed about, and if it is affecting your quality of life it needs to be fixed. Spend some time reading many of the posts here. Lots of good info regarding this curse of ED.

[tomas1]

You should try to talk to an urologist about trying injections. It sounds like you're a good candidate for them if ED pills aren't working or don't work for you. Lots of valuable information on this site to help.

I totally agree with you advice to Pumpkinman.
I have to thank you for using "an" before urologist. I've never used that, and it is right usage.