Sex without penetration versus an implant?

[Martin25]

I’ve been struggling for years with erectile dysfunction. I’m starting to think that I have been too focused on penetration, when there are other ways to have intimacy and to achieve orgasm. I’ve had limited success with injections combined with Cialis and constriction bands. It gets me there, but it really takes away the fun; it feels like work. I started considering an implant again, but the more I read I feel troubled at the thought of losing my natural penis. Evidently, there are noticeable wrinkles or “dog ears” when flaccid, and you can feel the tubing… I just feel getting an implant is giving away your natural penis for a prosthetic device. How is that different from incorporating a dildo into your sex life with your partner? Plus, many men need a revision in 7-10 years… I went to a men’s health clinic, and they put me on TRT therapy, which did not address the underlying issues, and did nothing for my erectile dysfunction. I am now off of TRT… I’ve had many disappointing experiences with urologists, and now with this men’s health clinic, which charged a fortune…

I’m posting because I’d like to hear the thoughts of others and their input. I might also post in another forum if that is deemed more appropriate… thank you all in advance…

[Alex258]

Sorry for the issues you've been having. I've posted much about my journey on here and in a nutshell I suffered 3 years ED post Prostrate removal. Pills.injections for two years was useless. I was in the same boat as you. Many of us have been. I was at best 1.5-2 inches during that time and I too tried to replace what I didn't have buying dildo's etc. During all that time I really didn't know anything about implants. My urologist who removed my prostate said nothing about it. By the time I got an interview with Perito in Miami, my thing was in bad shape due to much scarring etc. Fast forward to having the Coloplast Titan installed, initially I wasn't impressed but at least I had something to use and today almost 15 months in I'm very happy with my 6L and 6Girth. It has grown from cycling and healing.
I never had any issue with dog ears or tubing etc. I'd highly recommend doing it. I don't forget how bad it was to be without it.GL to ya. And P.S. It feels like my original one. Takes some getting used to at first

[ThailandBound]

I’ve heard that before. How an implant is akin to an inflatable dildo.

It’s not.

A dildo can’t feel erotic pleasure. An implanted penis can. A dildo can’t orgasm (unless one of those squirty ones). An implanted penis can.

Big difference.

Flaccid, yeah, you can feel the tips and cylinders. Once fully inflated, my girl tells me she can tell no difference between my implant and a natural dick. Only that mine is harder, and stays that way.

In regard to the flaccid, I quote our member “tangerine“:

“I did not do this for maximum flaccid, I did this for maximum sex!

That is my sentiment to this day, and it has been well worth it.

[Martin25]

Thank you, gentlemen, for taking the time out to reply. You are definitely giving me food for thought.

[Jage64]

"Evidently, there are noticeable wrinkles or “dog ears” when flaccid, and you can feel the tubing"

I have never had a dog ear.
I, nor my wife, can feel or see tubing without purposely digging in a fingertip feeling around for it.

If you're happy with your alternative sex life, then by all means, continue. If you're not, take the word of 95%+ of men with implants that say they're very happy with their prosthesis. My guess is, since you're here on FrankTalk......

I'm happy my wife chose to have cohesive gel breast implants installed after breast feeding 4 children. I didn't mind the old breasts, and certainly enjoyed them throughout our marriage, but these new ones (she's had them for 20 years) are FANTASTIC. At the nude resort other women are surprised to find they're implants, they look completely natural. She feels much better about how she looks dressed and undressed, and they have contributed to her overall self image.

I didn't really get that at first, but after my penis implant I completely understand now.

[Lost Sheep]

(edited for brevity)
I’m posting because I’d like to hear the thoughts of others and their input. I might also post in another forum if that is deemed more appropriate… thank you all in advance…

Welcome to the forum, Martin25.

You might pose your question in the "General Discussion" section or the "Sexuality" section as well. You will get more exposure in the "Implants" section (this one) because it is the most read, but in those other section may be seen by men not interested in implants who might miss your question here.

I may have a unique perspective to share with you. For one thing, I had ED that became severe several years ago, but was fortunate enough to have a lover who did not mind oral stimulation and use of a dildo to bring her to orgasms. We had a pretty good sex life like that. I could achieve penetration and orgasm inside her (albeit VERY quickly before my erection flagged) and she could have the "filled" feeling with the dildo. However, my current lover is unalterably opposed to dildos. Gladly, I have an implant now so cunnilingus and coitus is just fine. Sadly, last Octover 2023 I had a prostatectomy which, by bad luck, required the removal of the reservoir that powered my implant. This makes my situation fairly rare - a man who had an implant before prostatectomy and then lost function of the implant. My over still desires sex, eschews dildos, fellatio is out because I am incontinent and my desire to please her by cunnilingus is diminished because I know she cannot reciprocate adequately. Tends to kill my libido.

(((I know, I know, this is a relationship problem which begs open communication and I am the blockage for that. I also know that I CONSTANTLY advice members here to openly communicate with their partners - but it is hard for me to follow the adage, "Physician, heal thyself". Still trying, but I digress)))

Now that you know my history I will try to answer your questions directly:

Alternative sexual activiy can be just fine. In fact, as my ED worsened over the decades, I learned non-coital, non-standard activities that add to standard sexual practices. I likely would not have learned them without the ED. So, sex without penis-in-vagina action can be quite satisfactory. Having said that, I look forward to the day my implant's function is restored. The tubing, cylinder wrinkles, dog ears, pump bulge in the scrotum, etc are de minimis and not at all a deterrent. I would give them only a small bit of concern if I were you. If your partner has misgivings about an "inflatable dildo inside your penis", you can put that out of your mind unless your partner REALLY has a conceptual problem. It is no more "artificial" in feeling than a prosthetic thumb joint (I have one in my hand), though it does require pumping up to work which my thumb does not. Most partners do not care one bit that you have an impant. Of those who do have objections, the overwhelming majority change their attitude once they experience the restored capacity of their lover's erection. That leaves only a handful who do not accept the implant. I recommend couples counseling for men afflicted with such a partner.

When I got my implant, I appreciated it not only for restoring my ability to have coitus. I appreciated it for my ability to just HAVE an erection. The weight of an erect phallus ahead of my pelvis was gratifying in itself and restored the bit of self-assurance I had lost (despite it being "artificial", it is real nonetheless).

As far as losing my penis; yes, I lost what residual erectile capacity I still had in late 2017 (before my operation). I do not regret losing that weak, short-lived natural erection because what I gained was a firm, durable erection virtually equal to what I had as a youth. The fact that it depends on a hydro-mechanical device, surgically implanted did not deter me nor affect my enjoyment of having it. The fact that I have lost it now (post-prostatectomy) hurts a bit, but I fully expect restoration after the prostate cancer is addressed. And I will have unalloyed joy for that.

If you do get implanted, whether your experience mirrors my happy (early) experience is up to you and your partner. But I opine that it will.

I will add: I have read a long time ago, I think perhaps Gloria Steinem, "An orgasm will a full vagina feels better than one without."

[Martin25]

I may have a unique perspective to share with you. For one thing, I had ED that became severe several years ago, but was fortunate enough to have a lover who did not mind oral stimulation and use of a dildo to bring her to orgasms. We had a pretty good sex life like that. I could achieve penetration and orgasm inside her (albeit VERY quickly before my erection flagged) and she could have the "filled" feeling with the dildo. However, my current lover is unalterably opposed to dildos. Gladly, I have an implant now so cunnilingus and coitus is just fine. Sadly, last Octover 2023 I had a prostatectomy which, by bad luck, required the removal of the reservoir that powered my implant. This makes my situation fairly rare - a man who had an implant before prostatectomy and then lost function of the implant. My over still desires sex, eschews dildos, fellatio is out because I am incontinent and my desire to please her by cunnilingus is diminished because I know she cannot reciprocate adequately. Tends to kill my libido.

(((I know, I know, this is a relationship problem which begs open communication and I am the blockage for that. I also know that I CONSTANTLY advice members here to openly communicate with their partners - but it is hard for me to follow the adage, "Physician, heal thyself". Still trying, but I digress)))

Now that you know my history I will try to answer your questions directly:

Alternative sexual activiy can be just fine. In fact, as my ED worsened over the decades, I learned non-coital, non-standard activities that add to standard sexual practices. I likely would not have learned them without the ED. So, sex without penis-in-vagina action can be quite satisfactory. Having said that, I look forward to the day my implant's function is restored. The tubing, cylinder wrinkles, dog ears, pump bulge in the scrotum, etc are de minimis and not at all a deterrent. I would give them only a small bit of concern if I were you. If your partner has misgivings about an "inflatable dildo inside your penis", you can put that out of your mind unless your partner REALLY has a conceptual problem. It is no more "artificial" in feeling than a prosthetic thumb joint (I have one in my hand), though it does require pumping up to work which my thumb does not. Most partners do not care one bit that you have an impant. Of those who do have objections, the overwhelming majority change their attitude once they experience the restored capacity of their lover's erection. That leaves only a handful who do not accept the implant. I recommend couples counseling for men afflicted with such a partner.

Wow, this is the best advice I have gotten, thank you so much. I have a lot to work on in communicating with my partner. She really doesn’t voice any opinions…in a way I feel that this is good because she is accepting, but then I project my insecurities onto her silence.

[Rider1400]

I’ll give you a slightly different perspective on implants. Yes it is tubing that gives you an erection…. But that tubing is wrapped in your real live penis that still has nerves and mine can still get engorged and round when turned on and excited and the glans still pulsss with a little kegel push and she can still feel it when I climax!! So no! I do not miss my natural failing rarely hard totally unreliable dick! Also a consideration is that like Dr Perito says the day you stop having natural erections is the day your penis will begin to shrink. If you haven’t figured it out I’m a BIG advocate for implant if you’ve lost your natural ability to get hard. It’s amazing and even though it took a few months fir my wife to accept that it’s still my natural dick inside her and not a fake one… she now Loves my hard dick!!

[Mark1974]

Sometimes I think instead of getting an implant I should just focus on the sensitivity and appearance of my ED penis

Sometimes I feel like an oral relationship with a semi-flacid natural penis is more erotic than a relationship with strong penetration with an implanted penis

I have some of the same apprehensions you do

[Lost Sheep]

Sometimes I think instead of getting an implant I should just focus on the sensitivity and appearance of my ED penis

Sometimes I feel like an oral relationship with a semi-flacid natural penis is more erotic than a relationship with strong penetration with an implanted penis

I have some of the same apprehensions you do

I recall a standup comedienne relating a sexual experience handling a man's penis. She was having fun with it, flopping it back and forth when it stiffened and became erect, whereupon she complained, "HEY, I WASN"T DONE PLAYING WITH THAT YET!"

Hence my suggestion that my lover can choose between a ramrod stiff penis or a nice squishy-toy for as long as she wants either.