Sex without penetration versus an implant?

[Old Guy]

Sorry but to me sex is the penetration of the penis into the vagina. The implant is simply a device to assist in that pleasure. The implant is still a part of you and controlled by you. Without penetration why?

[Franklin22]

The implant is awesome. Natural erections are overrated. It has given me the peace of mind I needed and has given me something I never had. Amazing sex and happy customers !

[Martin25]

The diversity of opinions is great and helpful, thank you all. Hopefully more people will be in….

[BelleBite]

Some good advice/insights here.
My two cents: Non-penetrative sexual activity can be fantastic, but - as a friend an fellow implantee said to me- "Sometimes you just wan to fuck!"

[Martin25]

I also worry that I have gone so long without penetrative sex, that I have kind of lost the desire for it. When I masturbate, I am able to get a pretty good erection using a constriction band. If I combine it with a pill I can sometimes get a firm erection. However, for several years now, none of my fantasies while masturbating include penetrative sex. Now, a lot of my problem is also in my head, in addition to a bad venous leak… I read that too much reliance on masturbation and stimulation by hand can make it very difficult to be aroused by a vagina, which has a different sensation, which I barely remember.

As mentioned by others, communication is key with your partner…my partner is completely nonjudgmental, but also passive and silent. She never initiates intimacy or indicates any desire for penetrative sex (I even initiate the rare times we do other things). I worry if I took the plunge and got an implant, she really wouldn’t be interested.

I was hoping the men’s clinic would also help with the mental part because they have a sex therapist. But all he did was listen to my story and then kept asking if I felt any fatigue to lead me into TRT therapy, and my insurance didn’t even cover out-of-network costs for him. You would think that there would be more sex therapists, but there aren’t, not that you would find one that would accept insurance…

[Lost Sheep]

I also worry that I have gone so long without penetrative sex, that I have kind of lost the desire for it. When I masturbate, I am able to get a pretty good erection using a constriction band. If I combine it with a pill I can sometimes get a firm erection. However, for several years now, none of my fantasies while masturbating include penetrative sex. Now, a lot of my problem is also in my head, in addition to a bad venous leak… I read that too much reliance on masturbation and stimulation by hand can make it very difficult to be aroused by a vagina, which has a different sensation, which I barely remember.

As mentioned by others, communication is key with your partner…my partner is completely nonjudgmental, but also passive and silent. She never initiates intimacy or indicates any desire for penetrative sex (I even initiate the rare times we do other things). I worry if I took the plunge and got an implant, she really wouldn’t be interested.

I was hoping the men’s clinic would also help with the mental part because they have a sex therapist. But all he did was listen to my story and then kept asking if I felt any fatigue to lead me into TRT therapy, and my insurance didn’t even cover out-of-network costs for him. You would think that there would be more sex therapists, but there aren’t, not that you would find one that would accept insurance…

First question is, "Are you content with the situation as it is now?"

I know that I desired penetrative sex enough to go through with the implant. I discovered that just having the weight of an erection sticking out in front of my pelvis was a reward regardless of the opportunity for sex. It just felt "manly", and a joy to behold. But that is just me.

Is your testosterone low? Did your therapist not have that tested? If not, I would question his qualifications.

It is no surprise there are not a lot of sex therapists that take insurance. I suspect the basic reason is that there are not a lot of insurance companies that cover it. Just my guess, though. Does your insurance cover sex therapy?

You say your partner is nonjudgemental. Is she supportive, though? As far as passive and silent and never initiates; when you do have sexual intimacies (of any kind), does she actually enjoy the encounters? I mean to suggest you might want to "change it up" a little with extended foreplay. Prepare the groundwork. You cannot get a good paint job over a poor primer coat and your primer coat cannot be good over poorly sanded and prepped wood.

Do you two touch each other lovingly for no reason nor expectations, just to have the contact and support one another? Rub her shoulders when she is doing the dishes, hold hands when going from the parking lot to the grocery store, stuff like that?

Let her know that you would like to talk about your physically intimate life (not just sex). Let her know how you feel without going into a lot of detail and then LISTEN to her words, tone, body language, etc. I think a good sex therapist would have suggested something like this.

Even if you don't get more intimacy, it might improve your marriage in other ways.

[Martin25]

I also worry that I have gone so long without penetrative sex, that I have kind of lost the desire for it. When I masturbate, I am able to get a pretty good erection using a constriction band. If I combine it with a pill I can sometimes get a firm erection. However, for several years now, none of my fantasies while masturbating include penetrative sex. Now, a lot of my problem is also in my head, in addition to a bad venous leak… I read that too much reliance on masturbation and stimulation by hand can make it very difficult to be aroused by a vagina, which has a different sensation, which I barely remember.

As mentioned by others, communication is key with your partner…my partner is completely nonjudgmental, but also passive and silent. She never initiates intimacy or indicates any desire for penetrative sex (I even initiate the rare times we do other things). I worry if I took the plunge and got an implant, she really wouldn’t be interested.

I was hoping the men’s clinic would also help with the mental part because they have a sex therapist. But all he did was listen to my story and then kept asking if I felt any fatigue to lead me into TRT therapy, and my insurance didn’t even cover out-of-network costs for him. You would think that there would be more sex therapists, but there aren’t, not that you would find one that would accept insurance…

First question is, "Are you content with the situation as it is now?"

I know that I desired penetrative sex enough to go through with the implant. I discovered that just having the weight of an erection sticking out in front of my pelvis was a reward regardless of the opportunity for sex. It just felt "manly", and a joy to behold. But that is just me.

Is your testosterone low? Did your therapist not have that tested? If not, I would question his qualifications.

It is no surprise there are not a lot of sex therapists that take insurance. I suspect the basic reason is that there are not a lot of insurance companies that cover it. Just my guess, though. Does your insurance cover sex therapy?

You say your partner is nonjudgemental. Is she supportive, though? As far as passive and silent and never initiates; when you do have sexual intimacies (of any kind), does she actually enjoy the encounters? I mean to suggest you might want to "change it up" a little with extended foreplay. Prepare the groundwork. You cannot get a good paint job over a poor primer coat and your primer coat cannot be good over poorly sanded and prepped wood.

Do you two touch each other lovingly for no reason nor expectations, just to have the contact and support one another? Rub her shoulders when she is doing the dishes, hold hands when going from the parking lot to the grocery store, stuff like that?

Let her know that you would like to talk about your physically intimate life (not just sex). Let her know how you feel without going into a lot of detail and then LISTEN to her words, tone, body language, etc. I think a good sex therapist would have suggested something like this.

Even if you don't get more intimacy, it might improve your marriage in other ways.

I’ve gotten better advice from this thread than from anything else I’ve tried, thank you

I’m committed to increasing small acts of intimacy beyond the bedroom…I know my partner and I have some work to do…

[Mark1974]

Do you have low testosterone?

I've started thinking in terms of libido and sensitivity and not of erection

For me it makes more sense

My testosterone was good last I checked, but if yours is low I would be surprised if testosterone therapy didn't help

[CigareVolant]

My implanted penis is still my penis. I reach down and touch it, and it has feeling. It feels good when I slide it in. I come through it. It is me. Dildo play can be good fun, but it's completely different.

[Mark1974]

I've decided against an implant and it is because of this post.....and there was another that factored, but this more than anything clarified my thinking

If I ever get an RP or something damaging to my glands and my penis is in danger of shriveling inward I might consider an implant again, but for now I will be thankful for what I still have and not focus so much on what I have lost