3 year update and a few questions...

[shadowwolfe]

It has been almost three years now that I have had my implant. Here is just an update and I have a couple of questions.

I think the most important is how do I feel. Honestly, I miss the natural erections, but since I was not having them anyhow when i had the surgery, I am still glad I went with the implant. I was on injections prior to the surgery and they were OK except the shots were getting really unreliable for me. Sometimes I would get hard and sometimes not so much. I also had to really increase the dosage. The injections always had to be planned and if I did not have the injections on me and an opportunity presented itself, I was just out of luck. With the implant, I am always ready.

The length is OK. I lost some of the length as expected and I find I "slip out" at times which I never did before. Some positions I have trouble with. I am just a little over 5.5 inches (that increased! read on). The girth is about what I was prior to surgery. I was always pretty thick though. Still I cannot complain about the girth of my penis at all. To fix the problem with "slipping out", I am now changing my diet so I have less of a "beer belly". I am not fat, but I do have a belly and I think the belly takes away some of the length just because in some positions, the belly can be an obstacle.. at least I think so. We will see if it helps or not.

I think implants can look funny because the head does not inflate at all. I do still get blood flow though and I know it "fills" as I get more "turned on". i know I actually increase in size (length and thickness) just as I get ready to cum.

So how is my sex life? First, I have nothing but compliments. I am told my penis looks great. Personally, I am insecure about it because you can feel the tubes running to the cylinders and as I mentioned before the head looks smaller because unless I am really turned on, it remains in a flaccid state but I do not have a "hanging head" problem at all. My sex drive is really low and I do not know if that is because of my insecurities. I did have really low testosterone levels and I do a monthly injection. My levels are normal and for a while my sex drive increased, but now my sex drive it is low again. I use to desire sex several times a day and now I just do not have any real sex drive. That is a huge difference.

When I do have sex, it is great. I do not actually ejaculate, but for me this is due to my treatment of prostate cancer and I think it did get a little more "dry" after the surgery. I do ejaculate a little, but not much. When I do cum though, it is more intense than when I did ejaculate. I do not know if that is the same for others, but that is my experience.

When I am deflated, I have a bulge under my pants meaning you can see the outline of my penis, head and all. It is pronounced enough that people notice and I get a lot of smiles. I do not know if I look like I am just built, or if it looks like I have a semi. Sometimes I like that and sometimes I feel embarrassed. Because it is pronounced, I am most scared when I am around children. I do not want anyone thinking or even wondering if I am just built or if I am getting excited around kids. That is probably my biggest fear. So I find myself avoiding being near kids and sometimes if I am visiting my grandchildren, I will wear double underwear to try and conceal the bulge.

I know that one time I was at the neighbors, their dog jumped on my lap and when he jumped off, my pants had been pushed more "around" the penis and made a very clear outline. I know I looked up quickly to see of anyone noticed and the wife was looking straight at my penis and then looked at me. I adjusted and just hoped she didn't think I was getting a hard on from the dog... so it can be embarrassing at times. I am definitely not as self conscience as I use to be. I use to constantly worry about it, and if you read my stories on here, you know shortly after my surgery, TSA made me go to a room and totally disrobe since they did not believe it was my penis (I was the first in the U.S. to have to totally disrobe.. more common now). BTW, since that time I have flown a lot and I have not had one single problem. Most though make you go through the scanners now and do not give you a choice and I am sure they can see my implant and just let me pass.

I mentioned how embarrassing it can be, but it can be "fun" (don't know if that is the right word) when people notice and they are smiling. I have had some follow me around trying to get a better look.

I also live in France part of the time. Most of the pools, especially in Germany, you are required to wear a speedo and in some, it is mandatory nudity, especially in the hot springs. Being from the United States, I hated the speedo, but once you start wearing them you realize how much better they actually are for swimming. Once again though, I had anywhere from looks of smiles, to looks of disgusts. I can only remember one time though that someone looked like they were giving me a look of disgust.. I was scared at first, but I have gone enough that I don't think much about it anymore.

Being nude though does present unique problems. First, you can see the pump if I am lying down and have my legs spread. I am sure it makes it looks totally abnormal, so I am constantly aware of how I am sitting and trying to hide my sac (the pump). Also, when I am deflated, my penis does not lie normally. It actually looks like a fold and bump where it folds. So to prevent this, I keep some fluid in the tubes, but not enough to make it look any different than when it is totally deflated. Sometimes I am relaxed, but sometimes I am a nervous wreck trying to make sure my penis is not "folded" and that it also is not looking too semi. I know that I cannot totally lie down because my penis does not. So I sit in the reclining chairs. I do wish when I was deflated my penis would lie down normally and it would not look folded and I wish the pump was more hidden.

I thought prior to surgery, you would pump a few times and it was full. That is so not true! You can pump a few times and get an erection hard enough for sex. But.. if you want the max, it takes some time (like maybe around 30 squeezes) to get it fully pumped. For a long time I thought it was fully pumped, but then one day I pumped it and then after a while It was a little sore so I massaged it and then I tried pumping it some more... It pumped up a lot more. So I played some more and then pumped again! Before this, I would pump until it would not pump anymore and then just stopped.

I think it is because of my low sex drive that I never really "played" with my penis trying to get excited after I pumped it... BIG MISTAKE. I think even on this board, sometimes we still do not speak "frank" enough. I was told to pump up my penis and leave it pumped up for a while. I was never told to play with it and try to get the blood flowing and "loosen" it up and then pump again. I was honestly shocked how much more girth and size I was able to get and how much harder. It was not just a little more squeezing, it was a lot more. So now I pump it up and I stroke it and then I pump more. I will leave it and then play with it again and pump it up some more. While writing this, I decided to go measure and make sure it was not just my imagination and it measured over 6 inches! that is a gain of over a half an inch!

So one question is... is it better to leave it pumped up for as long as you can? If I have time, should I pump it up and leave it for several hours? I find that since pumping it out to the max... it hurts and I find the more I do it and longer I leave it, the pain is going away, penis is getting longer and thicker and this is three years after surgery that I am just discovering this.

Does anyone else get a "folded" looking penis? It is hard to describe, but I can see the cylinder actually fold when deflated and I am lying down.

Does your pump show if you are lying down? I have a decent sac.. meaning not small and hangs pretty well. The pump is not located at the bottom of the sac (I think) but more "middle" and the part you release it almost at the base of the shaft. What sticks out is the extension you squeeze to deflate (I am a titan implant and I heard the pumps are bigger than AMS). It is clearly visible it I "lift" my penis up or I am lying down.

How is your sex drive? increase, decrease or remain the same?

[bendermcbendy]

i have some questions.. why would your wife think you got a hard on from the dog? Does she not know you have the implant? why do you feel embarrassed around her? Are there other women in your life? Can you post some pics?

[shadowwolfe]

i have some questions.. why would your wife think you got a hard on from the dog? Does she not know you have the implant? why do you feel embarrassed around her? Are there other women in your life? Can you post some pics?

No, my neighbors wife.. I do not make a habit of telling anyone about my implant that does not need to know, so NO, I did not tell my neighbors I had an implant and I do not see why it would be any of their business.

Why would the neighbors wife think that? Because we were not doing anything or saying anything sexual... dog jumps off my lap and I probably looked like I had a semi since my bulge was pretty pronounced. Hopefully not, but I am sure she wondered why I looked like I had a semi.

Out of everything I wrote that is what you wonder about ...lol It was just one of my embarrassing moments that I was sharing.

[bendermcbendy]

I hope i didn't offend you. i should have read this better. But i also wonder about the folding and ability to feel the tubes go into the cylinder. Can you provide pictures of these? thanks alot.

[shadowwolfe]

No offense taken.

These are a few pictures of different things that I have noticed.

First picture shows the increase in size. I was just under 5.5 after the surgery and since then, it has increased.

The next two show the tubing you can see. You can also see the pump, but it is much worse than these picture reflect. Since I am taking the pictures myself, it is not easy to get in the right position. But if you follow the "seam", you can see how it goes down then up, both showing the pump and the release. Maybe because it is not too warm and my sac is not hanging, it does not show as well.

The last was hard to get a picture of. I tried shooting straight on, but with the Levis, the bump although clear to see with the eye, did not show up in the photo. So I am showing a side view. You can see clearly the penis bulging. Yes, it is totally deflated. You can even push on the cylinder and feel they are totally empty.

It is that bulge that got me pulled out of line at the airport one time and I had to strip nude. The TSA agent kept insisting it was not my penis. Like I mentioned before, I have not had a problem since that incident but most airports now use the body scanner.

I don't know if this is what you were looking for but there you go. Anyone else have the problem of the pump showing and tubes like that?

(I will post the bulge separate... there is a 3 pic limit

[shadowwolfe]

pant bulge...

[bendermcbendy]

if this is what a woman sees i doubt she will be able to tell anything. plus if the sex is good i doubt she will care if you have an implant.