Telling future partner about past jelqing and implant

[goose1235]

Hi everyone,

Reposting here for visibility.

Long story short I'm pretty sure I gave myself moderate ED (venous leak) bc of PE/jelqing. I'm young, 26, and you can imagine how much emotional distress I've been through these last few years. What I did was stupid and out of insecurity and exposure to porn, but the past is past. I've grown from this ordeal, and I'm mostly past the point of grieving for myself. I'm ready to move forward. I've decided to get an penile implant as I was diagnosed with venous leak. I can get an alright erection but cannot maintain it without constantly stimulation + it's way worse while standing. Pills do not help.

My final block is psychological.

How can I get over my shame, especially when I get a partner? How do I explain my implant? How do I be totally honest about how I injured myself? I'm honestly very anxious to reveal this past about myself since I feel like I might be looked at with disdain. There are days when I feel like I will never be loved. I'm someone who does not want to hide anything, I do not want to go through life bottled up. Does someone have experience with this?

Thank you

[Bambino09]

Hi everyone,

Reposting here for visibility.

Long story short I'm pretty sure I gave myself moderate ED (venous leak) bc of PE/jelqing. I'm young, 26, and you can imagine how much emotional distress I've been through these last few years. What I did was stupid and out of insecurity and exposure to porn, but the past is past. I've grown from this ordeal, and I'm mostly past the point of grieving for myself. I'm ready to move forward. I've decided to get an penile implant as I was diagnosed with venous leak. I can get an alright erection but cannot maintain it without constantly stimulation + it's way worse while standing. Pills do not help.

My final block is psychological.

How can I get over my shame, especially when I get a partner? How do I explain my implant? How do I be totally honest about how I injured myself? I'm honestly very anxious to reveal this past about myself since I feel like I might be looked at with disdain. There are days when I feel like I will never be loved. I'm someone who does not want to hide anything, I do not want to go through life bottled up. Does someone have experience with this?

Thank you

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[Gt1956]

Goose1235. Do some thinking on two different discussions & then decide which is the best one to have.
1: Explaining to a woman why your dick doesn't work at all. Not fun.
2: Explaining why your dick works better that any boyfriend she has ever had. You'll have to pry her eyes open to even listen to you. Fun.

[Fran4524]

Hi, partner. I am in a case like yours, but pills are working in me. I think it is not necessari to tell your partner if you did jelquing or not. You can tell her/him that in a moment your penis didn't work as always and after the doppler the doctor saw a venous leak. You can explain her/him about venous leak and tell your partner that implant was the only solution. You are not lying to nodoby.

[hankthefrank]

you could discuss using sex toys like dildo on her. if shes accepting of course

[Donkeykong]

No reason to tell about jelqing. Nobody knows if that is even the cause. Many perfectly healthy guys have venous leaks.

There is nothing to tell really. Would you make a big confession about wearing contact lenses? This is the same. If you do tell and they shame you, be thankful they showed you their true colors. You dodged a bullet.

[ElbowRoom]

Why even bring up the jelqing? Just tell your partner you have ED and leave it at that. Any reasons or causes don't really matter or change the situation. Leave any kind of detail like that to well into a solid relationship. It's not going to change anything and just muddies the waters.

You have a common medical condition affecting many men (40-50% over 40, you just got it early like I did). What caused it is unimportant and just guesswork anyway. Just enjoy starting a relationship with somebody and forget the stress and shame. Shit happens in life, carrying all it around with you like a lodestone only makes you unhappy.

Educate yourself on all the many ways you can pleasure a woman without using your penis, so you have a whole repertoire she can choose from. If you get good enough at it she'll probably be fine doing those other things until your ED issue is resolved. Remember the anticipation of pain and rejection is always worse the the actual situation if it happens.