My Journal

[alibaba]

merrix, sorry you won't make it home for Christmas but letting things settle down is likely a very good idea. Eid's instructions to me if I had the surgery is that I would not be allowed to fly home sooner than 5 days after, longer the better. I think Pockie waited 10 days or more if I remember correctly. Eid did his too and he is a young guy. If you were closer I would offer you a stay here for Christmas. Hopefully you and the doc can take some time off from wrestling those poor parts around and let them settle a bit. I know when you are healing that it hard to keep your mind and, hands sometimes, off whatever has to heal. It hurts, things are different than you were used to but sometimes you have to force yourself to give it all a break. Hard to do. but you are still the man. You can do it. Best wishes. Your junk has been in the best of care and the best hands ( literally) . Take care and hugs. d

Post script: Remember to trim you fingernails before you pump when you get to that point. I forget which doctor said it, but he said the number one issue people have when they pump is their fingernails stabbing the $#it out of them, even lacerating the skin sometimes. He told me get used to trimming close, the closer the better. If your lady has long nails like mine does, those scissors are not coming close. d

[RelievedofED1]

Sorry to her about your pain. You are in good hands with Dr Eid. He sounds genuinely concerned and yet appropriately reassuring about why the pain. He likely expected this could happen due to the difficulty during surgery rather than nfection. Must be hard being away from home but know we are thinking of you and praying that this will just be a distant memory soon.

[merrix]

Sincerely thankful to all of you taking time to post your encouragement.

Today's report, Day 7 post op

Yesterday, day 6 was crap. I'd say it was the worst of them all. After Eid's exam yesterday, where he deflated me a bit, I had an ugly deep pain which really got to me. Went to bed with a stupid hope I could make it through the night without pain killers, but woke up after 2 hrs and took 2 Tylenols. Slept 5 hrs and woke up with pain.
Made it to the bath and stayed there close to an hour.
Pain free in the tub, but immediate return of pain when standing up afterwards. Feels like everything down there is pulsating with pain.
Gave up and took 2 Tylenols.
Immediate pain relief. Stayed in bed, got some work (emails and phone calls) done.
Surprised over the more or less complete pain removal.
Still some pain when getting out of bed, but not like yesterday.

Took my walk 200m walk to see Eid at 1pm. No painkillers since 8:30.
Walk is painful from the pulsating feeling, but not like yesterday. And yesterday was with painkillers at peak effect.
Eid was happy with what he saw. Everything a little looser. Everything looking a little bit better than yesterday.
Still risk for infection of course. It can never be ruled out, but within reasonable limits, if you're fine after 4 weeks, chances are very, very small you're going to get one.
(He actually told me he just had a case where a guy he implanted in 2005 developed an infection now. Guy was in very bad shape though. Diabetes, amputated foot with mismanaged wound, very unhealthy lifestyle etc).
He is honest and tells me that he can not for sure say that my pain is NOT signs of an infection.
All he can say is he believes it is not the case. Things are better today than yesterday and there were issues as I have described with my case.

Today he could feel the components of the pump better than yesterday. He could point my penis down to 4 o'clock without pain. Yesterday that would have been impossible.

He further mentioned more difficulties with my case (i.e. my penis):
It is twisted, not only bent. Something I know of course, but never paid attention to since it's always been and it has never caused me any issues. I would say that when I point my penis up, it is twisted about 45 degrees. This made inserting cylinders harder.
He also said the 'internal' part of my penis was substantially longer than usual and differently angled. This may give me a flaccid which will not hang and point down as perfect as deired.
His second setup during surgery (22cm no RTE being the first) was 22 cm + 1.5 cm RTE. This would probably have improved the angle of the flaccid, since the implant bends easier with RTE than without.
On the other hand, the downside of that is that the erection over time does not get the same rigidity, but tends to 'swivel'.
He decided to go for maximum erection quality and usable (i.e. external) length by finally choosing 24 cm and no RTE, and taking the risk with the flaccid. He is still not sure he took the right decision, time will tell.

He also kept asking about the Sclerotherapy.
I already wrote that he thinks the sclero closed veins definitely increased bleeding and hence swelling, but he also was surprised that considering his extremely aggressive sizing with cylinders really pushing the limit for what the glans can take without pain and without unnaturally feeling the tips of the cylinders through the glans - he can barely feel the cylinder tips. He said my glans has a swelling and fullness which makes the tips barely palpable even though they extend very far into the glans.
He said this was interesting, since this is a good thing with an implant. Especially for patients who've had glans atrophy.
The risk however, would be that by removing too much outflow, body would compensate by decreasing inflow. This could in worst case 'kill' the tissue in the glans.
He still thinks sclero cannot cure VL and that it is a high risk procedure which he thinks would not get FDA approved in US.

He also said healing from implant surgery is normally not linear, but exponential. Meaning slow, slow, slow and then faster and faster once it kicks in.

He is still abit worried about me, but overall with a more positive picture than yesterday.

He wll be off with his family over Christmas, but still only a couple of hours away from NY.
We will stay in touch via phone and I am scheduled to see him on 28:th, the day before I (hopefully) go back.

[scooter65]

The news seems to be getting better. This week has to offer significant improvement over the last and each day an improvement over yesterday. Your case certainly sounds as if it tested your surgeons skills with all of the unique issues. Hopefully nothing will pop up between now and your final appointment.

Hang in there.

[alibaba]

Awesome. Sounds better and like you are are going to have a kick ass penis soon. very few doctors give the attention you are getting. Super! Take care and rest. Keep in mind that gravity has an effect on blood which will put more strain on things when standing besides the constant movement walking. Who knows how much more effect gravity has on your blood pooling down considering the increased flow to your glans. Cheers. d

[gollam121]

Hope you'll be ok as I'm watching intently as I too had Scerothreapy so concerned on the glans bit.

Btw, how's your wife coping with all of this ?

[merrix]

Thanks all again for bothering reading and give your encouragement. Appreciated.

Gollam, my wife is of course worried. I don't envy her situation. She's back in our house in Europe with our three kids and arranging the family christmas. She's hosting a christmas dinner tomorrow for 12 persons. She has to lie to our kids and everyone else why my plans where changed and I'm not there. And of course, she's dealing with her worries about my condition and complications as well. We can barely talk properly on the phone due to time difference and privacy issues with kids and guests.
So - it's tough. But what the heck, we knew it wasn't going to be easy.
My wife's main issue before this was her feeling sorry for me that I would have to through this. She wondered whether it was really worth it.
I kept saying that the post op pain and inconveniance was a non-issue for me. That I could take all the pain and all the complications in the world for some weeks as long as the end result was problem solved.
Guess I got what I asked for and here is my chance to live up to my words...

My progress is slow. However nothing has gotten worse over the last two days, and with an optimistic view, things have improved slightly.

[merrix]

Fantastic.

One guy here on the forum - H.Pineapple - told me he lives a few blocks away from my hotel and offered to get me any supplies I need. He came by with some fruit, snacks, coke etc. We had a good chat for an hour before he left.
I am so thankful. Not only for the stuff I got, but more so just for the will to help. I am missing words.

Thanks H.Pineapple. I owe you one.

[alibaba]

Again, awesome! there are always good people in the world! Hugs to your wife and hugs to you too. I know spending a Christmas this way is a little tough.

[alibaba]

Awesome gesture H.Pineapple. N.Y. with a heart. today you are the man! Gestures like that is what makes the world worth living in. 3 years ago on another forum I visited with a man who had been in a bad wreck. Moved from the hospital in South Carolina to a hotel room. We knew he was down in the dumps and financially strapped from lost work. My wife made a care package of cookies, snacks, and a jar of home made pickles and I shipped it to him. He called the night he got it. Said he sat on the bed and ate the entire jar of pickles. We visited almost an hour. About 3 months later we found out from someone else on the same forum who had been in contact with him that he was considering committing suicide before he got the package. Besides the wreck, his dad had died and he lost his job because of the long hospitalization. You never know what impact a little bit of kindness will make in someone's life. H.Pineapple, you probably just made merrix's dick heal faster! Cheers to all. Merry Christmas everyone!