Becoming Bionic

[RelievedofED1]

I can feel tubing and the pump touching my hand if I grab the shaft. My scrotum has never been pendulous or hanging really low unless horrendously hot do doesn't bother me. Like others have said its your equipment so do what you and Dr Kramer think is right but you may want to give it another few months to see if it doesn't just become the new normal. Good luck

[merrix]

Just to be clear, I'm not upset with Kramer at all. I believe he is one of the best and he did everything he could for me. Also, I am fully aware that pulling the penis up also pulls the pump up. That's the only way I can show it in a photo, but even when it isn't pulled up, it is still too high. Here's a test for everyone: when you you grab the shaft of your penis, can you feel the pump rubbing up against the bottom of your hand? I can. I don't think that's quite right. I know that Kramer placed the pump low, but something in the very early recovery caused the pump to move and get stuck much higher. I can also feels the tubing at the right base of my penis. I know this could easily be fixed but I just don't want to have surgery again, naturally. We'll see.

I cannot feel the pump with my hand even if I grip it firmly at the base.
My wife cannot feel any pump or tubing even if I do her really hard.
My pump doesn't visibly move when I lift my penis, as I think can be seen in the photos in My Journal.
My pump is not too low if I don't lift the penis. It sits right behind the testicles at the same height as them.
And I have no tubing visible or easily palpable if my dick hangs in relaxed position.

To make this discussion more interesting, I think this again just shows the difference in peoples way of expressing what 'perfect' is. Seems people like e.g. billb603 thinks it is no issue that he can feel the pump with his hand. C_lab34 does. I would.
Knowing that, we can understand the difference in positions here on the forum.
People like myself think it is silly when people say 'everything is perfect'. Because I know it probably isn't. It's just that their expectations and requirements are poorly low (to my standards) or that they simply don't mention all the issues.
Then on the other hand, there are people like myself, who has had a result as perfect as it gets, but has chosen to describe every single little issue on the road to recovery. And who even with a perfect result (surgically speaking), still accepts that there are issues to get over with an implant - however perfect it might work.

In C_Lab's pump case, I am sure there would be other men than him with the exact same result sitting here and say it's perfect. He doesn't. Because he has expectations of a truly perfect result and/or he chooses to speak out about his issues instead of denying them.

[alibaba]

by the grip your penis feel the pump test, mine is clearly too high too. sometimes it is above the testicles. If the scrotum is relaxed the pump is less than 1/2 way down ( this is when it sits on top of the rt nut). The pump is always out front and always juts out in a bump in the front and to toward rt of center. I've tried to take a picture but can never get one with the scrotum relaxed. Relaxed anyone could outline the entire shape of it if I could get a picture.
Merrix, I appreciate you sharing WHY your doctor is a good doctor. You have outlined the many outstanding qualities that do. A good outcome takes a cooperative effort by the providers and the patient. Without either or both, an excellent outcome is only by chance.

[merrix]

Just to be clear, I'm not upset with Kramer at all. I believe he is one of the best and he did everything he could for me. Also, I am fully aware that pulling the penis up also pulls the pump up. That's the only way I can show it in a photo, but even when it isn't pulled up, it is still too high. Here's a test for everyone: when you you grab the shaft of your penis, can you feel the pump rubbing up against the bottom of your hand? I can. I don't think that's quite right. I know that Kramer placed the pump low, but something in the very early recovery caused the pump to move and get stuck much higher. I can also feels the tubing at the right base of my penis. I know this could easily be fixed but I just don't want to have surgery again, naturally. We'll see.

I cannot feel the pump with my hand even if I grip it firmly at the base.
My wife cannot feel any pump or tubing even if I do her really hard.
My pump doesn't visibly move when I lift my penis, as I think can be seen in the photos in My Journal.
My pump is not too low if I don't lift the penis. It sits right behind the testicles at the same height as them.
And I have no tubing visible or easily palpable if my dick hangs in relaxed position.

To make this discussion more interesting, I think this again just shows the difference in peoples way of expressing what 'perfect' is. Seems people like e.g. billb603 thinks it is no issue that he can feel the pump with his hand. C_lab34 does. I would.
Knowing that, we can understand the difference in positions here on the forum.
People like myself think it is silly when people say 'everything is perfect'. Because I know it probably isn't. It's just that their expectations and requirements are poorly low (to my standards) or that they simply don't mention all the issues.
Then on the other hand, there are people like myself, who has had a result as perfect as it gets, but has chosen to describe every single little issue on the road to recovery. And who even with a perfect result (surgically speaking), still accepts that there are issues to get over with an implant - however perfect it might work.

In C_Lab's pump case, I am sure there would be other men than him with the exact same result sitting here and say it's perfect. He doesn't. Because he has expectations of a truly perfect result and/or he chooses to speak out about his issues instead of denying them.

Would also like to add that even if I did have issues with the physical aspects of the implant (which I luckily don't), I could tolerate quite a few of them rather than having a limp dick. But that's not to say that everything would be perfect. Perfect is perfect. Issues is not perfect, however good enough it might be.

[moetheman]

Does Kramer always place the pump at the front or does he also do posterior placement? As for satisfaction with the implant, I think that's a very personal thing. One person may well be happy with an outcome that the next person may loathe. We are all a community here but ultimately this is a very personal journey and we have to live with our dicks 24/7. I still hate the sight of my current implanted dick as it just looks a shadow of its former self. Even a million people telling me that it looks fine won't make me like it any more. It's all relative. It might still be better than having a micro penis but definitely nothing compared to before.

I totally understand where Clab is coming from. If I had to wait another few months to get my revision, I would literally explode. It's because I know what good looks and feels like and this definitely isn't it. Having to wait is very difficult when you know that you clearly need a revision.

[C_lab34]

I think I'm close to 10 weeks out, and I am becoming more content with where I am now. The first time I had sex with the implant was a wild experience, and it made me very happy, as I'd never before been able to keep an erection without losing it or worrying about it. But then I grew frustrated with lingering soreness and a pump that had somehow migrated up to an awkward position in my scrotum. I want to repeat that at no point was I upset with Dr. Kramer and my experience with him or the Baltimore hospital. He has been extremely responsive from the moment I initially to contacted him to this day, and performed what had to be a difficult surgery while acting like it was no big deal at all. I am incredibly grateful to him. Nevertheless, I didn't realize the extent of the psychological damage ED had done to me after struggling with it my entire life. I hoped that I would just be immediately cured once I had an implant, and not worry in any way about my dick anymore. Even though I now have the functioning that I've always lacked, I've still had to adjust to certain changes, and it hasn't been an entirely smooth transition.

I put the responsibility for that on myself, and I don't think anyone else, this forum, any of the posters, or Dr. Kramer and his team, have in any way done me any wrong. Everyone has been great, but I have let anxiety get the best of me at times through the recovery process. I have tried to detail honestly what I've gone through, but that makes me vulnerable to embarrassment over things I've written that I no longer feel. It's an unavoidable consequence of writing. As it stands now, I am holding off on pump revision surgery until the summer at least. This is because I am still making progress with cycling the device, and slowly but surely becoming less sore and more rigid with more pumps. My shape is becoming more aesthetically pleasing, I'm gaining girth, the bump in my right cylinder is starting to smooth out, and I'm very close to pre op length. These were all things I was told would happen, but it's funny how difficult it is to accept when your dick doesn't feel or look right. If I were to get my pump redone, I would be out of commission for about two weeks. I don't want to lose that time right now when cycling is working as well as it currently does. And I can tell I still have a ways to go. I get very sore when I pump up near the max, so my tissues are really still stretching out.

One amusing anecdote that speaks to Dr. Kramer's concern for his patients: A week or so ago I got an email from him telling me to call his cell. When I did, he said that he had heard from one of his newer patients that reads this forum that I was unhappy with the pump and wanted it to be fixed. He knew it was me from the way his patient described it. He told me that he would do the pump revision in a week if that's what I wanted. He initially wanted to wait a while for the pseudo capsule to form, but if I really wanted it done he could do it as soon as possible. It's incredible to me that a doctor who performs hundreds of surgeries a year took time out of his day to contact me and offer to provide additional services as soon as I wanted it. This is in contrast with the way other doctors treated me in the past, with impatience and incomprehension. I was touched by the gesture. Despite the inner struggles I've had with the implant, Dr. Kramer has taken excellent care of me the whole way through. I can't imagine my mental state if I had gone with a less caring physician.

[moetheman]

Very glad to hear that you're doing well Clab. I always suspected that ED would have to be un-learned mentally, especially if it has gone on for a while. Sounds like you're well on your way to recovery. Kramer and Eid are great guys and from everything I've seen and experienced tells me that they care a great deal about their patients' satisfaction.

I hope that I too am able to have a good outcome the second time. I'm prepared to give it time to deal with any tricks that the mind can throw. I think even Merrix experienced some of the mind tricks when he first put the implant to use. The key thing is that you're recovering physically and the mind is now catching up too. Keep it up (literally )

[alibaba]

Sounds like Kramer is both approachable and understanding. Nice you have a doctor that cares. Worth a LOT! Cheers. Hope things continue to improve.

[merrix]

Thanks for the update C_lab.

I sign up 100% to the mental monster mountain that needs to be climbed. Up and down.
I did, as you all know, have 3-4 unusually crappy weeks immediately post op. However, my implant functioned perfectly well from day 13 when I started cycling. I had sex with minimal pain already from 3 weeks. Now, at 3 months out, I can pump full for sex with not even the slightest discomfort, I have no issue whatsoever in daily life. I even did my heavy barbell squat routine for the first time yesterday. 100% without any discomfort or reaction.

So all is perfect. But that's from a physical and technical point of view. I am still progressing on the mental recovery side. And actually, itis not only recovering from the implant surgery, it is recovering from fixing ED.

So you are not alone C_lab. I think most 'young' guys (in this world we are) would agree about the psychological impact being at least as tough as the physical.

But if you're anything like me (and I think you are), you will keep progressing and eventually get just fine. If your implant will technically work as it should.

[C_lab34]

Yesterday morning I inflated the implant as I normally do. I'm still experiencing a lot of pain and soreness when I inflate near the max. For the rest of the day I felt a little more lingering pain. Last night I noticed that the left hand side of my penis was swollen and more tough to the touch than the left. It's as if the cylinder won't deflate all the way. The right hand cylinder and tissues feel fine, but the left is puffy and sensitive. I tried to inflate today and it hurt really badly, like the first time I ever inflated. It was unbearable. Not sure what's going on exactly. I haven't been having rough sex or doing anything out of the ordinary, but naturally, I'm a little worried. Dr. Kramer said to leave it alone for a few days, but I'm wondering if anyone has experienced anything like this almost three months out?