Late 30's, ED and Scared as hell

[jugjug]

Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to say hi and meet my new family. I'm very depressed the past few days because I just found out my ED is likely permanent. (Full story below) Please tell me it's not the end of the world. I need support right now and as a single guy in his late 30's I don't have anyone to lean on. I've just started dating someone but have not revealed anything to her. We haven't had sex yet and I'm scared to tell her. She so great. I just prey she's understanding because I am falling for her and she for me. Does any of this sound familiar to anyone.

Sorry for sad hello.

-Jug

Single, white guy in his late 30's. This is my story.

Since early 2006 I began noticing a decline in my ability to clench my pelvic floor muscles. It was at this point I began have urinary issues and very, very mild ED. I was still able to maintain an erection, although the erections were just a bit less rigid than before. I went to a urologist and he said I have mild BPH. He gave me a prescription for Flomax for BPH. He said the erection issue was psychological and a prescription for Viagra would help get my confidence back.

In Dec 2009, I tried the Viagra and it gave me the hardest erection of my life. So hard it hurt at times. After a few weeks of using it I began have pain in my pelvic floor muscles. Then in Jan 2010 I suffered a terrible priapism which made my pelvic floor muscles tighten for nearly 8 hrs. My whole pelvic floor region was numb for a week. During that week my girlfriend gave me a hand job which gave me terrible shooting pains on the sides of my penis and in the ischiocavernosus muscles in the pelvic floor. From that day forward, my symptoms have been:

1. Loss of stability from left to right at the base.
2. Very week or no nocturnal/morning erections
3. Inability to maintain an erection
4. Instability at the base of the penis from left to right
5. Premature ejaculation

For example: I can get an erection but without the contraction of the ischiocavernosus muscles and their function to constrict blood flow from the two corpora cavernosa I begin to loose rigidity and the erection. I must use constant stimulation to keep blood flowing into the penis. However, the constant stimulation leads to over stimulation and premature ejaculation.

Over the past year and half I've seen numerous urologist and specialist who have all looked at this as a vascular or a suspensory ligament issue. However, after numerous examinations, penile doplers and even an angiogram study they all show I have great blood flow, there is no sign of venous leak and a stretched or torn PSL has been ruled out. My own research points to damage of the ischiocavenosus muscles and or nerves. On Friday, July 15th I met with a well know penile implant doctor in NYC and he confirmed I likely tore the muscles or the tunica albiguina (sheet around my penis). There is nothing he can do. Even with an implant, I will not have the sensation I once had and my erect penis will hang or point downward.

[sogwap]

I'm new here too.

Very few things are permanent. Dead and taxes that's about it.

5-10 years ago if you told me I would be on a forum like this I would have thought, Impossible. Not because of ED issues. But because at the time I had a wife who thought I was a pervert for even wanting sex. Now I have a wife that gets upset if a week goes by and we dont have sex at least once.

Something else I've learned is that the body has amazing healing abilities. I have seen miracles even in the sex department. Doctors are wonderful, however they can only go by what they have learned. For the most part they can only guess about you.

Finally and this might be most important are you (and your future wife's) expectations. I think most men and women are greatly affected by exceptions from others. I used to be into porn. The fact is I could never measure up to 95% of what is seen in porn.
What is much more important is that you both are loving, gratuitous and giving when it comes to sexual matters.

What if the tables were turned and your wife experienced painful sex. Both of you would have to make choices. You both would have to be gentle and gracious, understanding and desirous to please each other.

Let me close by saying, Welcome you are not alone!!!

[padreest]

Hey Jug and welcome to a group that won't lead you astray. You can trust the guys here to give you what's in your best interest. I hope you meant I Pray and not I prey LOL. Hang in there until you find the right dr.