Psychosexual Counselling for ED

[defiant]

Hey PFracture

I accept that there could be something wrong physically and I think me saying that that's a possibility hinders my progress mentally, if indeed it is all in the head.

However I don't think it's any kind of fracture or leak.

I've never had a severe injury and no isolated leaks have been seen on Doppler.

I got my testosterone level back today and it was 19.5 so in the realms of normal.

My problem is either something systemic, a cardiac deficiency or purely mental. And I really do believe I could be in the 10% of pure psychogenic madness.

[Jamesbond]

Hi Defiant

Wish I had good news. Thinking of getting implant.
Been awhile so trying to get back old length.

If I can will probably get the implant.

Might want to try excercise your friend so you minimize lost of length.

Regarding girlfriend if you about to lose her or want to ensure you will keep her.
Tell her that seeing shrink and Dr. If worst comes to worst tell her you think of getting implant. Tell her the good stuff about it.
Last ditch effort to keep her. If she is about to walk anyway.
But do as you want.

I hate to say this I had went to a shrink long time later I saw a sex expert shrink.
I lost count how many uro I saw before I got a diagnosis.

Reason why I tell you is that they never gave me a real diagnosis.
It was more lie I don't know here is a prescription or try to sell me some crap that did not work.

Sex expert shrink was the best because she went rite to the point.
Must be something wrong when shots where not working.
Ed was happening with stress or not.
The Dr did not give me a diagnosis of finding nothing or not.
Go see another Uro.

All I am trying to say is even the shrink may say he thinks he can fix your problem it might not be true. Every time you walk in the door you put money in his pocket.
What is he going to wait years down the road till he can not fix it.

Go see a Dr make sure nothing else is wrong.

I have been like this for years. Don't make the same mistake I have made.
Relationship I had to walk away from. That 1 I think of every day.
The gorgeous blond from out of town that invited me to dinner and breakfast. The newly divorced neighbor that was hot that invited me over. Used to come talk to me in tank top, no bra. New boobs where nice.

If the shrink will always find something wrong with that is how he makes his money?
The question is if he is right or wrong.

Good luck

[defiant]

JamesBond,

Hey man,

Forgive me if I misread but you didn't actually say what your final diagnosis was in the end. What is the phsyical problem preventing your arousal?

I'm not sure what else I can do personally. I've seen my GP twice for full work ups, all my bloods came back normal yesterday. I've seen 3 urologists, one who was just a general urologist who said I had a mild venous leak and two androlgists (mal sexual medicine / penis urologists) and they both have told me the mechanics of my penis are good. My testosterone is in normal range (though I wish it was higher). The only thing that I can confirm that is tangible and measurable is my anxiety which has increased by the year instead of easing.

Other things I would like to investigate: I may see an endocrinologist just to have a full hormonal work up and I'm seeking a cardiac work up too. I have an appointment with a physio to have my pelvic floor assessed. And my second psychotherapy session is today. I've spoken to 3 psychs on the phone now and they all say they've seen this a million times before and that is it treatable.

I know my penis won't work 'normally' right now and I do fear losing my girl but she's said many times now she's on board and that she'll never leave me. So even if it came to having to get an implant, I would!

Which brings me to you.

Dude, if it's so bad, I suggest you very carefully assess yourself and your state of mind and exhaust all other means of cure or at least improvement. If this is ruining your life which TRUST ME, I can see how it can, go for it and don't look back.

I've been reading testimonials and these men are not sad! They are very very happy and with the best implants available, there are far more pros than cons. The erections look and feel normal and you can have it on demand. Revision surgeries are few and very far between. And people worry about what women will think, I have a lot of female friends and those I've told and read online really do not care. They're just happy they can enjoy sex with you. A good woman will care about you, not your dick.

[charlesr]

Defiant's got it right! I'm super-happy with my implant. Being bionic is as cool as it sounds.

[PFracture]

Have you ever had any fall on top of a hard bar or object on your crotch area? are you a horse rider? bicycle rider? Contact Sports? i think you should go to Dr. Goldstein in California, from San Diego Sexual Medicine, before you want your implant if you want to exhaust your diagnostic options.

It's the least you can do, and it's just 1000$ USD for diagnostic and consultation, and you just have to pay for the flight which varies.

Otherwise, i would not do the implant first.

[Jamesbond]

Hi defiant

Very long story. Going to try make it short.

I used to be very busy. Barely had time to rub when out.
No time for a relationship. I got ED slowly.
I started going downhill and within 2 yrs I could not get only get it up barely and it was not very good. I did go see Dr's, not that many because of time.

I got the blood work up and saw another dr still no answers.
Went to see uro after uro. Never got answer.

Was seeing a urologist did regiscan test. T levels normal but not high. Did "T"
shot just 2 see if it helped. Did not help. When I found out about the ultrasound I asked my uro why he did not do it and he told me he does not do it because he can not fix it. Was waste of time. I do see his point. Did not like his answer.
Always took good care of me and I even sent relative to him, he took very good care of both of us. He is rated as very good.

During the time i saw cariologist and endicrynolgist. Found nothing.

Pills where a joke
He wanted me to try injections. Finally did injections. Injections barely worked. I was still not very hard and lost a lot of length. Then I saw 2nd shrink about it. All she does is sexual issues. She told me injections should have worked better than it did. I needed to see another Dr. was nice if here to be honest. She even said she could have me come back and take my money but in the end I would be the same.

I saw another urologist and he told me about the ultrasound.
Was hard to find a urologist that does ultrasound. I called around. Even tryied large hospitals in the city.
He had associate that does it. Had the ultrasound done it came back everything was very good. No problems.

Never had an implant offered to me.

Found out about implants online. Asked my urologist about it and he told me not 2 do it. I saw a dr that does implants. He did stretch test and ultrasound.
He found the clog. Went to see another implant guy he did ultrasound and showed me the clog.

1 st implant guy I saw was better. Told him if he could split the diffreance from what I was to what I am now I would get it next week.

He discussed the issues and about arousal and ejaculation.
If it is as good as if my plumbing was working. Not sure I get it.
Not sure I have to as long as it gets the job done.

Been following site for awhile.
Yes, I know many men are happy with the Implant.
Some Dr's recommend therapy to stretch so you don't lose length.
Think mostly for men that have had prostate surgury.
My prostate is ok.
My dr say it does not help.

I have been trying stretching and VED . Hope I am doing it right.
I think I will give it a year or so. Getting impatient.
Their is a guy that has a coaching program online. Going to sign up.
If I am able to get at least most of my length I think I will get the implant.

I am I think ok looking guy. Most friends of mine have gotten fat and bald.
Single so wives complain to me how hubby is. One told me her hubby is hung like a "goldfish".
Few of their wives have hit on me. Don't know why but she thinks I am hung. Don't know where she got that from. Not getting into it

Have tried pills, injections and herbal crap. I am not going to get the implant if I can not get my length back. That was what I brought to the table before.
Before ED I was bigger than average.
I am not going to get the implant to be hung like a "goldfish"
Okay maybe friend wife was exaggerating. But she dreads sex with him.

By the way he cheats on his wife. GF dumped him because he was joke in bed.

Friend wanted to fix me up. I did not want to go. If she was ok I did not want to explain to her that I can not get it up.
Turned away women thru the years. I guess I will keep doing that.

Hope that helps
Bond

[charlesr]

Jamesbond:

1. I think that you should get a frigging implant already! The reason urologists don't like to recommend an implant to someone who has not had a radical prostatectomy (RP) is that there is always a possibility that erections could come back. They feel that it could be psychological, from blood flow, etcetera. An implant is final. The corpus cavernosa is removed, so no more natural erections are achievable. With an RP the chance of a return to natural erectile function, no matter what anyone says, is rare. If you have truly gone through every channel, than an implant is an excellent alternative. I'm not lying when I tell you that I have acquaintances who are my age who wish they could get an implant even though the don't have ED! They have the "sorry dear" episodes and it leads to apprehension regarding the fact that they may lose an erection in the process of sexual activity. I know that, prior to my RP I had more often than not the inability to complete sexual intercourse because the darn erection would wear out. With an implant, that is no longer an issue. If you wanted, you could have an erection FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. You turn off the erection when you want to and not a moment before. Do a last time once over of all of your symptoms and, if you find that you are a prime candidate for an implant; meaning no other possible solutions for an erection, DO IT! You will have a normal (if not superior) life from that point on (Okay; after the first couple months after the procedure. But we're big boys. We can take it).

2. Don't turn away those (single) women who approach you any more. What if you found that there was a women of whom you really wanted to have a relationship, only to have her constantly turn you down? You would figure that there was a reason that she didn't like you. But wouldn't you be upset if you found that it was only because she had some negative feelings about herself for some reason? What a waste! Don't deprive all of those ladies out there! You have a lot to offer and an erect penis is probably not even in the top ten for most of them. Of course, once you get the implant you'll be a stud, so you had better hurry and meet some girls so you can find out the ones who aren't just looking at you for your incredible erections

On a final note, lost length, in my case, is the result of the RP. Anywhere from 1 1/4" to 1 3/4" of the urethra is removed in the process of eliminating the prostate. Also, a lot of guys measure their penis in the VED tube. I'm 5" on a good day after my RP and I was 7" in the tube after my RP. Big deal. I'd rather have my wife work on my 5" penis outside of the VED tube than look at my 7" penis inside of it. I always asked myself prior to my decision to get an implant: "Shorter than WHAT? It's about 1/2" flaccid now and no chance of getting an erection." So don't freak out about length. Do you really want to inhibit your quality of life for an issue that is less important than a functioning penis?

[defiant]

What would you guys suggest for me?

I remember before this, I don't think I've ever been able to stay hard long enough to put on a condom. I had an experience when 18 where I couldn't put it on properly. This probably added to my complex.

I don't think I'll ever be that potent ever again.

And I'm reliant on Cialis.

The road back to 'normality' seems very long and lonely.

[MARKOS2018]

I Agree with Charlesr totally. Time to stop feeling sorry for yourself. This will stop if you go ahead and get your implant. All your mind issues concerning your dick will VANISH. Trust me

[PFracture]

What would you guys suggest for me?

I remember before this, I don't think I've ever been able to stay hard long enough to put on a condom. I had an experience when 18 where I couldn't put it on properly. This probably added to my complex.

I don't think I'll ever be that potent ever again.

And I'm reliant on Cialis.

The road back to 'normality' seems very long and lonely.

Have you ever had any fall on top of a hard bar or object on your crotch area? are you a horse rider? bicycle rider? Contact Sports? i think you should go to Dr. Goldstein in California, from San Diego Sexual Medicine, before you want your implant if you want to exhaust your diagnostic options.

It's the least you can do, and it's just 1000$ USD for diagnostic and consultation, and you just have to pay for the flight which varies.

Otherwise, i would not do the implant first.

Your thoughts on my post above you didn't answered?