Personality changes with sudden restoration of sexual ability?

[Lost Sheep]

I appreciate all the sincere and heartfelt expressions here. But the responses have strayed from the focus of my question.

What prompted my question was not one of my self-esteem (I addressed that issue long ago). I am concerned that my personality could change from a monogamous, loyal, faithful, self-effacing, genteel boyfriend and lover to something more profligate. The "something else" would be powered by a new ability to bed as many women as are willing. If I have my sexual prowess restored and enhanced to a degree never before seen (by me), would I be empowered to become a "rake" and lothario? The thought is present in my head, if not my heart.

In anticipation of an implant, I have felt the urge to promiscuity already, and it disturbs me that those feelings are within me.

I have read many posts from men who describe having many sexual encounters in a short period of time. I also know that people who have new-found sexuality (from any life-event) commonly go through a period of uncharacteristic sexual behaviors. I do not imagine that I am immune to such urges and wanted to know if others here have dealt with such feelings and how their experiences might inform me as I prepare for my surgery.

Post-implant, have any of you "gone crazy about sex" for a time? How did you deal with any internal conflicts about it?

Specifically, I have two women willing to help with my sexual journey and contacts from three others to whom I have not responded. After (and even before-in preparation for) the implant surgery, I would be able to sexually engage with these women. But, as I have heretofore always been monogamous, I wonder if fairness to my partners mandates a limit on such polyamory.

(edited Nov 2017 to note that as of January 2017, I have only one - she asked me to do that for her and is deserving of my consideration)

In short, it is not my self-image that concerns me; It is my moral obligation to the women with whom I might engage sexually and emotionally and my desire to honor the relationships of which I might be part. I struggle with conflicting feelings right now.

Any advice focused on the moral conflict inherent to 1) being capable of sustaining multiple simultaneous physical relations and 2) committing to a single relationship at a time. Has anyone had to deal with the rising desire to do the one over the other as a new feeling?

I would be OK with being a "man-slut" for a while (with my new-found ability), but would hate to hurt the women with whom I partnered.

This is a new path for me and a road map would be helpful.

Thanks

Lost Sheep

[jonbaldbg]

The whole casual sex thing is foreign to me because it would take me a while to get comfortable with any new woman. I can't really say I've had those urges, but at the age of 61 I don't really have the desire to mess around with multiple women, at least not the ones that would have me!!

[Lost Sheep]

The whole casual sex thing is foreign to me because it would take me a while to get comfortable with any new woman. I can't really say I've had those urges, but at the age of 61 I don't really have the desire to mess around with multiple women, at least not the ones that would have me!!

Thanks for your thoughts, jonbaldbg. While I continue to have desire for physical intimacy (and not just for sex) I have never been much interested in casual sex, either. Being intimate with another person is an important event in anyone's life, which I regard with high respect. Hence my question.

My original post on the dating site appears a little bit at odds with that feeling of respect, but I was (as stated in the ad) looking for a "remarkable woman". The barrier was set high (for both of us).

After several weeks of talking and getting acquainted, two have qualified (out of a field of several). I care very much for each of them and both now want to help me with the "trial and error" (pre-op preparation and post-op benefits). But not necessarily while another woman is also helping. (Just to be clear, we are NOT talking threesome here)

If I didn't take sex (and relationships) seriously, lying to to each of them about the existence of the other would be an option. But I do, so it's not. I have been 100% transparent with both women. (edited to add) and will continue to be so in the future.

Lost Sheep

[dg_moore]

One example of how connected we are with our penises is the fact that one euphemism for the penis is "manhood."

Indeed! I don't know how can you guys say you are OK with it. It destroyed my confidence in a way I never thought possible and the only hope I have is that the implant will somehow bring it back. When and if I go for it. I am a totally different person than I used to be.... Sometimes I wish so hard I could go back in time... If I just stayed home that night, instead of going out to have sex with that girl.... But no, that's not the way it is. And here I am 2 years later, without any sexual contact. At the peak of my youth...

There comes a time in everyone's life when sex is over, some sooner than others. When that time comes, it's ok. I certainly wish I were younger and healthier, but have no desire to become sexual again. So put me down as "ok with it." But none of this renders me unqualified or incapable of discussing implants with those who are contemplating one.

[Anonymous2]

Lost sheep or little boo peep, Your really putting yourself up there way above any of us on here, I don't think in the last 5 to 6 years of being on seem anybody brag the way you are, what is 3,4 or 5 women all waiting for you to bed them, wow.

Only ever knew one guy who was married and putting it about perhaps 3 times a week, but never bragged about doing it, it was just his way of life, and this guy was a dead ringer for the late great Steve Mcqueen, as his mate said, he's always on the pull with women, but never a good looker , he said that a good looker can get it when they want it, always go for the one at the back not so good looking as they are gagging for it, BINGO

NOWHARD

[jonbaldbg]

One example of how connected we are with our penises is the fact that one euphemism for the penis is "manhood."

Indeed! I don't know how can you guys say you are OK with it. It destroyed my confidence in a way I never thought possible and the only hope I have is that the implant will somehow bring it back. When and if I go for it. I am a totally different person than I used to be.... Sometimes I wish so hard I could go back in time... If I just stayed home that night, instead of going out to have sex with that girl.... But no, that's not the way it is. And here I am 2 years later, without any sexual contact. At the peak of my youth...

There comes a time in everyone's life when sex is over, some sooner than others. When that time comes, it's ok. I certainly wish I were younger and healthier, but have no desire to become sexual again. So put me down as "ok with it." But none of this renders me unqualified or incapable of discussing implants with those who are contemplating one.

I believe you are correct although it is very sad that there comes a point when sex is over. It's like Paul said in the Bible, we have to learn to be content in whatever situation we find ourselves. I certainly don't know how to do that and have never been content in my situations. I am glad you deal with it so well and are willing to help others in spite of your personal situation. Interestingly, my step-father, no deceased, lived into at least his 70s. He smoked almost his entire life which is bad for sexual functioning. Sex was very important to him and in his later years he took a little herbal Yohimbine to help him have sex, but he rolled my mother over and made some sweet love the night before he died during his sleep. What a great way to go! Count me in for that.

[Nocturne]

OP -- be honest with these women and you cannot go wrong. My wife and I have been honest with each other over the years -- I have dallied here and there with women who were of no consequence but sexual, after I knew that it was OK with her. Of course now that ED has invited itself into my house our arrangement over the years makes me less than comfortable, but what can you do?

Others -- I think a lot depends on how old you are when ED invites itself in. At 41, I felt like a sideshow freak to be having problems getting hard all of a sudden. If I were in my 60s, I am sure I would still not like it, but it would have felt more like "just one of those things" and I would only be worried if treatments would work despite further aging over the next 20-30 years rather than 40-50 years.

Of course ED is never fun, but it seems to be less of an embarrassment if you are over 60 than it is if you are under 50.

[dg_moore]

OP -- be honest with these women and you cannot go wrong. My wife and I have been honest with each other over the years -- I have dallied here and there with women who were of no consequence but sexual, after I knew that it was OK with her. Of course now that ED has invited itself into my house our arrangement over the years makes me less than comfortable, but what can you do?

Others -- I think a lot depends on how old you are when ED invites itself in. At 41, I felt like a sideshow freak to be having problems getting hard all of a sudden. If I were in my 60s, I am sure I would still not like it, but it would have felt more like "just one of those things" and I would only be worried if treatments would work despite further aging over the next 20-30 years rather than 40-50 years.

Of course ED is never fun, but it seems to be less of an embarrassment if you are over 60 than it is if you are under 50.

I always viewed ED as a medical condition, not a source of embarrassment. In the first place, it's not evident to anybody other than you and your partner, and if your partner can't deal with it that says a lot more about the partner than you.

[Nocturne]

OP -- be honest with these women and you cannot go wrong. My wife and I have been honest with each other over the years -- I have dallied here and there with women who were of no consequence but sexual, after I knew that it was OK with her. Of course now that ED has invited itself into my house our arrangement over the years makes me less than comfortable, but what can you do?

Others -- I think a lot depends on how old you are when ED invites itself in. At 41, I felt like a sideshow freak to be having problems getting hard all of a sudden. If I were in my 60s, I am sure I would still not like it, but it would have felt more like "just one of those things" and I would only be worried if treatments would work despite further aging over the next 20-30 years rather than 40-50 years.

Of course ED is never fun, but it seems to be less of an embarrassment if you are over 60 than it is if you are under 50.

I always viewed ED as a medical condition, not a source of embarrassment. In the first place, it's not evident to anybody other than you and your partner, and if your partner can't deal with it that says a lot more about the partner than you.

"Embarrassment" was maybe not the best word. If my problems started when I was 60, I would at least have the comfort of knowing that it was not at all unusual for a guy my age and that a good chunk of my friends -- whether they talked about it or not -- were probably going through the same thing.

It would have been less stressful. At the very least I could have guesstimated that pills would work for maybe ten years, and that I'd realistically only have to worry about MAYBE one implant replacement after that. At 41, you're looking at managing for the next 40-50 years, IF you make it that long (because ED at such a young age is a marker for heart disease).

In my case, ED looked like it might have been caused by extremely low T -- until the doc heard that heart murmur, which led to the second and third punches of aortic stenosis and coronary artery disease. On average, it looks like I got a twenty year haircut there. So in a way, my body was kind enough to take care of that "how do I manage ED for the next 40-50 years" problem for me...

Anyway, sorry for diverging from topic, OP. Like I said, be honest with the ladies and you can't go wrong. When you find one who is OK with you doing what you need to do, you'll know she's a keeper. That was my experience. Mind, I have always limited my dalliances to women I met while traveling, who I knew I would never see again -- I had no desire for drama.

[Lost Sheep]

Lost sheep or little boo peep, Your really putting yourself up there way above any of us on here, I don't think in the last 5 to 6 years of being on seem anybody brag the way you are, what is 3,4 or 5 women all waiting for you to bed them, wow.

NOWHARD

Hardly.

I am talking about two women only. The others are friends, declined to participate in any sexual activities, but are supportive about the E.D. nonetheless.

There is no brag here. I take my responsibility in any relationship VERY seriously.

I was as surprised to find such serious, kind, supportive women and am not prideful about having found two, so there is no desire to brag or to put myself "above" anyone. Rather, I am humbled by these caring, sensitive ladies.

I see where my post could be seen as braggadocio, so I thank you for your thoughts. I have read your past posts and know you to be sincere in your beliefs.

Lost Sheep