making her man hard -- wife's perspective

[TANGERINE]

My wife said something disturbing last night. The gist of her remark was that
She used to gain great sexual peace of mind from seeing that she could "turn on her man" to a rock hard erected state.

In the past, I have become aware of this female perspective during my investigations about viagra and injections. Apparently, some women are really disturbed that their man needs something more than "her natural sex appeal" to get an erection. For some women, it is a "validation of their sex appeal" when they have the capability to get a man excited enough to be erect.

With the implant, my rock hard erection no longer has anything to do with whether I am being seduced and overwhelmed by her sex appeal. She views that as a loss.

Bionic bros, I need some help working through this

THANKS,
from a currently miffed TANGERINE

Your comments please !

[IJN1324]

that's a tough one Tangerine, and I experienced something somewhat similar. You just have to keep on telling her how you feel about her and the fact you went under the knife to get bak t=your function was for her. it's very difficult communicating these issues to the opposite sex cos we think so differently. Ultimately, just keep giving her good loving and she will come around

[strongagain]

She used to gain great sexual peace of mind from seeing that she could "turn on her man" to a rock hard erected state

How old are you, how old is your wife? Reason for your implant? Pity that you don't have a detailed signature which makes an answer difficult.

[oldgoat]

Maybe she is playing you and wants a new car.

[ThePlumber1964]

This is fascinating! Thanks for bringing it up for discussion.

My 2 cents: Since this is new, for you and for her, something's can or should be adjusted. What about having her helping, during the foreplay session, to start the pumping process. In reality, do do help her, too, by doing other good lovers stuff. Let's turn this into a two way process, as it is supposed to be during "normal" sex.

[Lost Sheep]

This thread speaks to your question.

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=2010&p=44797#p44797

While Oldgoat's post seems less kindly than one would hope, there may be an element of truth to it. She may be asking for a show of affection or an affirmation previously provided by your erection, but now needs to be provided by some other means.

You fixed your ED by having the implant. Now you can fix this other dysfunction in your relationship by having a different kind of implant - one from your heart to hers.

Just as orgasms previously given by penis, when ED comes along, substitute sources of orgasms are employed (Tongue, hands, toys); proof of your ardor can be given by other means when the spontaneous erection is gone. Not a new car, though. Perhaps flowers, a foot massage as foreplay, more foreplay, non-sexual gratification.

I have asked several female friends if they feel a "pride of authorship" about their mans' erections. Universally, the answer has been negative. They all express (in different ways) that a man's erection is easy to come by and means pretty much nothing to them.

I think your wife is expressing her need for validation. That the validation she SAYS came from your spontaneous erection did not really come from there, but from somewhere else in your behaviors that you have stopped doing. In any even, her insecurity can be assuaged by you.

Good luck to both of you.

[Donnie1954]

My wife does oral while I'm flacid. I have her stop. I pump up a little and let her at me again. I say things like, "look what your doing to me. Your incredible. Then I pump some more. This continues until she says, pump it up!" Have fun playing with that implant.
Donnie

[Lost Sheep]

ddbryan has a good thought. If she feels she is an essential participant, she will "own" it.

In this thread

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=7325

I posted the thought

A man inattentive to his partner's needs will be bothersome to her as long as he has a sex drive and especially if he has an enduring erection.

A man attentive to his partner's needs will be a joy to her as long as he has a sex drive and especially if he has an enduring erection.

This attention/inattention divide applies outside the sexual arena as well.

also this thread where a member asks about his partner's possible adverse response to oral ED meds

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=2010&p=13132

[Lost Sheep]

Search for the topic in the "Implants" forum "What will she think? - a woman's perspective" for a really good first-hand testimony from user "1023km"
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=6513
This young woman is obviously secure in her man's affection for her and enjoys his implanted erection thoroughly (partly) because of that security. Her youth may affect her thinking and your wife is a different person, but I cannot help but think your wife's concern has nothing to do with how you get your erection.

[JayGould]

Who cares? This is about you having a good time, not anyone else. She will like it if you do. If not, then that's her problem. You guys are way too worried about what women will think of you sometimes.