The other forms of sex

[caninoespacial]

Hey guys, as I stated before on another topic, I have ED since the first encounter and never been able to make intercourse. So, as I failed and failed and failed, I have always performed oral sex A LOT to overcome the embarrassment. Also, lots of fingering. Pretty much all you can do for a girl when you don’t have a penis to use… So, my first girlfriend could go with it for a while, but betrayed me really fast… and told how it was much better with someone that works… but she was 17 and very empty headed, so I don’t know… I try to forget this shit. Now, the second one was a more experienced girl from my university. At the first time, she has got really frustrated, so I opened the game and told everything. She said it was ok and that she would love the rest I could do for her. We had other two sexual encounters and she was always ratifying how it was good to be with someone who gives attention to her clit. It seems good, but I freaked out about the possibility of being cheated again, I was growing a love for her. So… I ran away and cut off contact. Now, the third one is a perfect girl, we relate totally well and regained my will to try. But.., she has vaginismus and does not want to try sex so often. When we try, we do what we can, but she seems to get really upset about the vaginismus. After all the introduction, my question is: In you guys experience, can someone fulfill a girl with other ways of having sex? I ask this because when everything stops working, I wont try an implant. My penis is already short, any loss would make it useless and I would have the same risks of being cheated on. I want to find a way of giving girls what they want at maximum without a dick, hehe. I know, pretty silly, but maybe there is a way… I would like to take your experiences on that, folks.

[newtoed]

Dear Friend,
First of all I'd like to complement you on making an effort of having sexual experiences despite your condition. Many healthy man don't even try to pick up girls and just masturbate their life away. Also it's great that you give these women all that pleasure which is my goal as well.
I know too well what you are going through trying to please women without an erection. Sounds like you did everything you can.
I would really encourage you to explore the options you have. I don't know if you tried pills or injections yet. That would be something to start with before you consider implant.
I'd love to hear more info about your situation.
All the best!

[dtwarren1942]

Have you seen a urologist and if so, what did he or she say?

Also, check out the Pumping Forum. Pumping is another alternative to an implant.

[Flannigan]

Yes. I agree with the others. We need to know more. Have you tried pills and injections ? What doctors have you seen ? Also, how old are you ? It's important to know. If you haven't tried injections yet then I think you have to give it a try. It's amazing what they can do. I would also like to commend you for at least trying to have a relationship and just the fact that you went on this site and put yourself out there at least shows some initiative to do something about it. I hope you can find a solution or maybe just a girl that would be ok with some good tongue lashing and some toys

Cheers
Flannigan

[caninoespacial]

Dear Friend,
First of all I'd like to complement you on making an effort of having sexual experiences despite your condition. Many healthy man don't even try to pick up girls and just masturbate their life away. Also it's great that you give these women all that pleasure which is my goal as well.
I know too well what you are going through trying to please women without an erection. Sounds like you did everything you can.
I would really encourage you to explore the options you have. I don't know if you tried pills or injections yet. That would be something to start with before you consider implant.
I'd love to hear more info about your situation.
All the best!

Yes, it's a hard time trying to make them feel totally in the mood without an erection. So, as far as I know, it's "psychological". But, by many of the answers I got from the guys here, it's probably something else and my uro is being lazy to approach it the right way. I use cialis sometimes, but it's hard to know if it works because of my gf, she does not want to have sex frquently. But it sure does make a difference, I feel it. I also try to study the maximum I can for a way to make the effectiveness last. About how I plasure my girl, well, all the ways. She can only stand one finger and it's completly tight inside her. I had an erection with cialis once, it was good enough, but kept hitting the wall. Both of us assumed it was her vagina, it's really closed. I ha other erections with cialis, but not hard, not until she touched it anyway. I mean, right now, if I use cialis, I can have a rock hard erection, but, the girl has to play with my penis a little. I don't know, I feel bad for that, mainly because I miss how good my visual attraction was when I had 14 or 15, before the "trauma".
About what flannigan said, Im only 21. In my first sexual encounter, when I was 16, something got wrong and I could not get it up. It was horrible and humiliating. I loved the girl, but she reacted awfully, said I was gay and things like that. Also cheated on me later. Most doctors say it's psychological, but none of them bothered do check me up the right way. I don't want to self diagnose, but I surely got worse and worse over time because of depression, at a point that being attracted to girls was getting hard. When I met my girlfriend though, everything down there worked at first sight. It seems that the more aware I am of the need of an erection, the most numb and useless my fella becomes.

[Flannigan]

Hmmmm....seems to me that you have more than one thing killing your erections. You definitely have a psychological component to it like most guys do when their junk doesn't get hard at first sight or touch. And what your first bitch GF did to you really sucks and that is probably still roaming around in your brain. F that bitch. Anyway...you might also have a physical problem but it's hard to say until you get a uro that cares about your situation and will investigate. You have to tell them straight up that it's not all in your head and you want to be examined. They can check for venous leak or some other obvious things. Getting and maintaining an erection is a complex process that involves many body parts the brain being the main motor and the penis being the wheels. There is also stuff in between. I say get checked out by a good uro. Then try Viagra. It works differently than Cialis. If they don't work then try injections. I used the pills in the past but am now on injections. If injections can't get you hard at your age then there is something physically wrong. Injections take the psychological component out of the equation. As much as women like to have their pussies licked...they want to be fucked. It's encoded in their DNA. I think you have a working tool but it might need a little help. Keep your spirits up and go find a new uro. It might take a few tries with different things but don't give up. You can figure this out and start enjoying sex again.

Good luck !

[caninoespacial]

Hmmmm....seems to me that you have more than one thing killing your erections. You definitely have a psychological component to it like most guys do when their junk doesn't get hard at first sight or touch. And what your first bitch GF did to you really sucks and that is probably still roaming around in your brain. F that bitch. Anyway...you might also have a physical problem but it's hard to say until you get a uro that cares about your situation and will investigate. You have to tell them straight up that it's not all in your head and you want to be examined. They can check for venous leak or some other obvious things. Getting and maintaining an erection is a complex process that involves many body parts the brain being the main motor and the penis being the wheels. There is also stuff in between. I say get checked out by a good uro. Then try Viagra. It works differently than Cialis. If they don't work then try injections. I used the pills in the past but am now on injections. If injections can't get you hard at your age then there is something physically wrong. Injections take the psychological component out of the equation. As much as women like to have their pussies licked...they want to be fucked. It's encoded in their DNA. I think you have a working tool but it might need a little help. Keep your spirits up and go find a new uro. It might take a few tries with different things but don't give up. You can figure this out and start enjoying sex again.

Good luck !

yeah, man... honest and precise. It's really complicated, they do want to be fucked. Complicated.

[lenders]

Do you have mornings woods? You get erections with porn without touching you? Maybe you have soft glans? With cialis you get an erection that lasts for many minutes without touching just to see something erotic? Look, I can seem hard, but if in some of this psychological failure is not, that you are stressed or anxious is normal but it is something that happens to you because your cock does not work well, is a consequence of it, not the other way around.
If you do not get a good erection without touching you watching porn, and an erection which lasts for minutes , believe me there is nothing psychological because there you are alone and you would not have to be nervous.

[Flannigan]

Lenders is right. At your age...if you can't get wood watching porn by yourself or masturbate by yourself when your not under pressure...then it's something physical. Find a uro that is sympathetic to your situation and don't be afraid to lay everything out on the table.

[Jamesbond]

HI
I have ED also. Maybe an implant in future.

About your lady friend. My Dr also suggested learning about pleasuring her by stimulating her clitoris. I looked into it a bit. Turns out most of nerve endings are thier. It is like advanced fingering. In short you would be looking for spots where you could give her the most pleasrue. You go just inside and pleasure her that way. You don't have to insert anything deep inside so with her condition she might be okay with that.
Can always try some wine first to get to her to relax.
Dr told me to look in bookstore. No more bookstores, so I went to used bookstore.
They had several books on topic. I did not have time to read so they are packed away. If you want let me know I will dig them out and try to get a few of the names of books I bought. Send me a DM.