).So here are some observations, especially for anyone contemplating an implant (in no particular order).
- The post-op pain was real, but not anywhere near what I had thought. More of a discomfort than pain. Today, I still have soreness in my glans that remains for quite a while after cycling up to the "burn" level, and when inflated for use.
- Cycling seems to be worth the effort and discomfort, as over 4 weeks Little Bob has grown a half inch -- to a whopping 4-1/2". Hoping for another 1/2 to 3/4 of an inch, which would get me back almost to my pre-prostatectomy length.
- When inflated, my dick is hard as a rock and very flat (oval). Overall girth is a lot less than what I got from injections, but they never got me hard enough to use it. Maybe over time the rest of my dick will fill out some, more than just the two cylinders side by side.
- Still have numbness on the underside and I am hoping that will resolve. It seems to be a little better than it was, but it's hard to tell.
- If I get this thing completely deflated I'm pretty much unaware of it except when I take a leak. Those tips are always there and hard. Actually, I am aware that Little Bob hasn't, like Puff the Magic Dragon, slipped into his cave. (Maybe "Magic Dragon" will be my new name for my unit -- it has a nice ring to it
). It is nice to finally have a "package", even if it's not particularly big.- Dave Kell is right on the money re how this has changed my self image and given me confidence I really never had. Its really amazing how destructive PE and ED are to a man's psyche.
- Here's the big observation:
My wife was pretty spooked by this whole process, and not extremely interested in putting it to use the way some of the other guys here have reported with their wives. We finally had a long open talk about everything, and it cleared a lot of the air. I bared my soul re how having PE for pretty much my whole life combined with a disappearing pecker had made me feel inadequate on the deepest level. I told her I was disappointed that she kept this whole processes at arm's length, and didn't seem to appreciate that it took a certain amount of courage first to stick needles in my dick, and then to have a prosthesis implanted. That I was frustrated that for the first time I could enjoy sex without the shame, fear and anxiety of "will it work? will it last? I better hurry up before it goes south, and oh shit I'm cuming already" and now she didn't seem very interested. She was there for me from the diagnosis of PCa, the prostatectomy, injections, through the implant, but didn't seem to be "there" for me, or us. She listened, and I think she got it.
Then it was her turn, and she said that from the time of my biopsy (January) to the present, it seemed like everything in my life and our life was about my penis. Well, she's right. Between the normal guys' obsession with their dicks and my overly obsessive behaviors, she's right. It (my dick) was the center of my universe and it turned her off.
So, as much as it may be normal for us to think about our little friend non stop (since before puberty), we really can overdo it it to the point of, well, becoming a pain in the ass. After our conversation we made love and took our time. One of us climaxed a few times, and one of us still has some numbness and discomfort from the tips that prevent orgasm. But it was close.
- Can't imagine how I could have done this with the support and encouragement from the guys on FT, and especially that of Philly444. Thanks to all.
- That's it for now. If anyone has any input re the numbness issue resolving, or any other comments, I'd love to hear them.
Bob 2.2
When deflated, my dick is about 3" long so there's a lot of implant that gets bunched up in there. My "soft" dick is not very soft, and I can feel the lumps from the cylinders bunching up. A strange feeling, but I'll take that feeling (and look) over the turtle head nub I was left with after the RALP. That was truly uncomfortable both physically and emotionally.