Doctors visit

[Cajun Jeff]

Zeke: So pleased that you Dr visit went well. I do hope the pills work for you. Do keep us posted on the follow up.

Cajun Jeff

[rich1958]

Owen,

Make sure you read the side effects of viagra and follow the instructions. And let the doctor know if you have any of the side effects. I tried viagra initially and it gave me splitting headaches. While getting the hardon was great the headache and back pain afterwards were to much for me. Now I'm taking cialis with no side effects.

Let us know how things go.

R

[3mtrship]

Our sexual recovery story goes back to early 2005. She was 65 and I was 60.

My surgery ended up taking place on 14 Feb 2005. Yes "Valentines DAY !" I mean how ironic is that. If you think this is going to be a funny story, well I hope so. Parts of it are not funny and sit close to my very being but other parts are funny and need to be told so others may learn there are lots of ways to skin this cat.

We had 6 children and raised them in a house of 746 sq. ft. I mean how blatantly sexual can two people be in those circumstances. We might have done some roaming around or experimenting in our early years but once the kids started arriving we found a small range of techniques that pleased us both and kind of left the rest by the wayside. We reached a NORMAL. Oh, we would sneak things into the mix once in a while but not often..

My cancer changed all that. 12 weeks after surgery I started radiation of the old prostate tissue bed and went for 42 doses 5 days a week till complete. I had so little trouble with RT that after a few weeks my wife went on vacation with my blessings to visit kids during summer recess.

Whatever progress I had made on penis rehab stopped as RT started. I wasted the few pills I got for free. Meaning no erections that summer. Climaxes but no erections and alone at that. Not a good pattern to start.

I was scared and did not know if she could or would still love me like this. It sat heavy on my mind and it is the way we men qualify ourselves as sexual beings. Can we do it? Can we give pleasure to each and how?

We wallowed around not saying much all winter, spring and into summer. Then IT happened 1 1/2 yrs after surgery.

A Birthday pool party for a grandson gets us all together, 20-30 people. My daughter in law is of Cuban heritage. She was sisters. One of those sisters is a knockout and she had a new bikini. Waterpolo in the pool and I'm sitting in the cabana with ice tea watching that bikini. My goodness it starts. It grows, it bulges. it protrudes and feels wonderful. I mean "HELLO BUDDY, WELCOME BACK. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN SO LONG?" I quickly grabbed a towel and went to the bathroom. It went down just as quick as it came up and before I could do anything about it, darned.

Hours later after we drove away, my wife says "Was that what I think it was?" "YES." "Lets go invite him back, I want to see him again."

During those next months he accepted our invitations once in a while and showed up. Each appearance was a surprise because we could never quite figure out how to phrase the invitation.
It was also during that time some of the pressure or selfishness began to ease and I lightened up.

She said we had to talk seriously. She had sexual needs that were not being meet. She was not alone, I admitted. She said she had been tippy toeing around because I was hurt but that selfishness on my part needed to stop now.

Here is what we did to start things again.

We sat down with a full blank sheet of paper each. We promised to put any and everything that we were willing to look at again on the paper. We pledged to be honest and take risk. We admitted we had slowly allowed our sex lives to become plain vanilla, safe, NORMAL. We admitted there were things we wanted to look at again.

We look back on that now and laugh. Because we both thought at the time that we could guess what the other would put on the paper. You would be far from the truth. We both had suppressed sexual urges for the family or for the kids and never revealed our frustrations.

We decided to meet again in a week and talk. She told me in no uncertain terms that we each had many senses and at least several holes. All options were on this table. Sight could involve, cloths, costumes, videos, stories, lighting....... Sounds might involve music, background sounds, noises we make while together or words used during........ Where were we willing to touch or be touched, neck, ass, rectum, penis, pussy, ear, nose, tit, stomach, legs, feet....... Taste. Where were we wiling to place our face, tongue, nose or hand........ Smell might involve a skin care product we did not like to be exchanged for something different. Where were we have all this take place.

We pledged to be kind and go easy with no other goal then trying to bring brief pleasure where none existed as we started. We pledged to try and accommodate the other with the balance or focus shifting back and forth.

We oiled, rubbed, bathed and did it again to clean up after some of the stuff we tried. Don't misunderstand we were not kids again but I gotta tell ya, I have never smelled better in my life.

We found our "NEW NORMAL" after cancer. I had almost allowed my love life and the love of my life to go away because I was so afraid to be vulnerable again and run the risk of my mate telling me no. I allowed for her to tell me no but she also said yes often enough to please me and I her. She had changed in some sexual ways over our years together and never said a word. She now admits she carried part of the burden for things becoming plain.

Are we the same as we were? NO. Are we better then we were? NO Are we OK now? YES.

Feedback is welcome. Jim