My Story / At a crossroad / Your advice sought

[calixtus]

I asked you a lot of questions privately to which I just found the answers here. Thank you for your candor. It is good for you and for us, and forms the foundation of recovery.

[DepressedSwede]

defiant,

I really feel for you and I can relate to your situation.
The same exact thing happened to me at the age of 25 and I am now 29.
ED destroyed my relationship, my career and my social life.
I got major depression and anxiety that the doctors failed to treat.
The depression, stress and anxiety made me so sick that I had no energy to barely leave my bed for years.
I was constantly dizzy, tired and could not live a normal life anymore, I was basically a living dead.

I tried pills and injections, however, my fear was so intense that it made the treatments fail.
For every failure I had to stay in bed for a week because of the psychological trauma it caused me.
After all this, the healtcare in my country did not want to pay for a penile implant.
I decided to pay for this myself and got one implanted for a year and a half ago.
My depression and anxiety since then has been greatly reduced and it was possible for me to return to an almost normal life.

However, I am now back with depression and anxiety because I have developed sudden chronic pain around the tips of the implant.
It might be a case of late infection. It happened after a recent dental procedure which I took antibiotics before.
A couple of days after the dental procedure, I got a case of balanitis on the foreskin of the penis which I treated with a steroid cream.
The same night I started to get internal pain in the glans of the penis which is chronic and antibiotics does not help to treat it.
This is really weird and I am utterly confused over what might be the cause.
The doctors tells me that it should be impossible for a local skin infection to spread to the penile implant because of the capsule.
I am really fearing for my life that it is an infection, because I know that the only symptom of late infection might be new chronic pain.
I do not want to live with this untreatable major depression and anxiety that this causes me.
It ruins everything in my path.

All after all, I would still recommend you to get implanted.
For me, it was a life-saving procedure even thou I now might have an infection and am suffering more than ever.

[David_R]

balanitis on the foreskin of the penis ... internal pain in the glans of the penis

I think you need to talk with a prosthetic urologist (one who is trained in penile implants) to ask about these problems. An infection on the foreskin wouldn't seem to me to be related to an implant, but I am not a medical professional. Internal pain in the glans might be, but again, I am not a medical professional. I would heavily recommend that you get these problems checked out by a urologist who specializes in penile implants.

[ThePlumber1964]

Your first posting was a great summary. Make sure that the surgeon feels comfortable with people that have done their homework and know enough to challenge/engage in intelligent discussions with you. Believe me, some are scare of people like you.

[defiant]

I’m really at a loss in life right now. I’m trying to rationalise everything and be logical but it’s hard and anxiety, profound levels of it, specifically around arousal and sex, is my constant companion. I’m avoiding meeting people, I’m avoiding ‘TRYING’ to masturbate. I’m a shadow of myself.

In one year of psychologist treatment, I’ve lost lots of money and gained more anxiety. I don’t believe they’re bad at their jobs, more that I’m just a very anxious and overthinking person.

So - do I continue to take cialis if and when I meet someone, maybe fail, always have that will it won’t it, or do i pursue the implant for what could very well and most likely is, a purely psychological block.

No matter the cause, a man can’t live like this. Right?